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Anonymous

12/11/20 at 6:25PM UTC

Career

Small City Connections

I live in a city but is a smaller city - metro area is only about 700k people. People are connected to each other and know each other. I applied for a job at another company and found out my current boss heard about it as she told a co-worker she thought I was interviewing on the day I did interview. I did my research on this new company and had looked at all of their executive team on their website, etc. Come to find out later, my boss was good friends with an HR executive at this company who I believe told my manager that I had applied (I figured out the common name via a Holiday invite). It is two years later and I would still like to work for this other company and they recently posted a job that looks tailor made for me. I submitted my application. I'm wondering what advice you have for me if once again I find out my manager was notified? I can tell you she doesn't want me to leave my role as she would have a hard time replacing me as the scope of what I deal with is quite broad. I'm not saying I'm irreplaceable - everyone is replaceable - it's just that it would be a long learning curve for someone new. Do I write off this company if I find out that once again she was informed? I'm fairly sure she will tell them not to hire me even though I get strong reviews (and additional responsibility) every year as she won't want to go through the pain of replacing. I'm tired of the stress of my current role and looking at retirement in maybe 10 years and would really like a job that is a bit more focused (not as broad) where I can see the difference I make - more strategic. I'm even willing to look at a compensation reduction if needed to take a good role, although at times based on the scope of my current role I feel like I am not at market anyway. Do I call anyone out on this? I too know people at this other company, including an HR person, although not the same one. It is a small town, even with 700k people. What advice do you have and have any of you had a similar situation? What did you do if so and would you handle it the same again?

10 Comments

Malissa

532

Controller in the Agricultural Industry.

12/11/20 at 6:41PM UTC

The joys of a small town. I really do want to grow old in a small town. That way if I can't remember what I am up to there will be at least three people who can fill me in. Connect with your HR contact and see if they can keep some discretion in the hiring process. This should be an easy doable request.

1 Reply

Caroline Platt

212

12/14/20 at 2:25PM UTC

And in any cover letter, ask for confidentiality. If it does get back to your boss, it may be a company that’s not as great as it seems. Additionally, don’t tell anyone at your current workplace. That may be the leak!

Kendra Koger

I write things that appear on screens.

12/11/20 at 7:51PM UTC

I agree with Malissa. Asking your HR connect to express some discretion with the people involved in your interview process seems to be your best starting off point. Also, you seem like an AMAZING worker who deserves to enjoy the next 10 years of your career. However, let's say, God forbid, history repeats itself and your coveted company spills the beans again. In that case, examine what it is that really draws you to that company, and see if there are similar businesses outside of your small community that shares those traits. Potentially branching out to a neighboring town or metropolitan could widen your pool, and include more things on your desired company's wish list and more. I truly hope this time things go well, and your current boss will advocate for you when the time comes for you leave. Keep us posted on how things go!!

Lisa Lewis Miller

464

Author, podcaster, coach @ GetCareerClarity.com

12/11/20 at 9:17PM UTC

I'll add one more idea: have you thought about talking to your current boss about it? It could be through the lens of: I've been thinking about my next growth step in my career, and found an incredible opportunity doing XX at YY company. I'm going to apply for this role because it would be a great new challenge, (but would also love to talk about ways I might be able to grow and be challenged more here.) <-- only include the parenthetical part if it's true! Even in a small town, nobody can expect you to do the same job and stay at the same place forever, so you might get more support than you realize if you can find a way to bring it up with your boss and ask for her support or help in your next growth step if that's unavailable at your current company.

Roberta

284

12/13/20 at 4:20PM UTC

When you apply for this job, CLEARLY state in your cover letter that your job search is confidential. If they still tell your boss you've applied again, you know a) this isn't a company that values its candidates (and, by extension, its employees) and b) that the specific HR person your boss knows isn't trustworthy. Why would you want to work for a company like that?

Jennifer

12/14/20 at 1:57PM UTC

I agree with all here. HR really shouldn't be saying anything and I would politely remind them of that in the way that everyone else suggested. Please keep this confidential. I am surprised that the HR rep said anything, even in passing. They can't reach out to current employers until you have a contract or an offer. Saying it in a friendly conversation could have put you in a really bad position with your current boss. Glad that it didn't. Being that it didn't, maybe talking to you boss about it like Lisa suggested isn't a bad idea either. Explain the situation and how you are ready for a change. Sounds like they would appreciate the honest feedback.

Christina Kirk

12/14/20 at 3:01PM UTC

It is not a small town problem. It is a situation where everyone is connected by their jobs. My husband is in a specialized field and knows people all across the country. So when someone applies for a different location, the first thing everyone does is see if someone knows that person. I see something similar in my job. I do agree you should speak with your current manager. Sometimes our jobs just don’t fit what we want anymore. That person may even want to help you find something that fits you better because they want the best for you. Again that is optimistic but it can happen.

Lourdes

12/14/20 at 4:55PM UTC

Apply for the job! We all know that companies get rid of employees as needed, they clearly dont think they owe us anything. Best of luck!

Anonymous

12/15/20 at 2:34AM UTC

700k people is a small city? I grew up in a town of 60k and where I'm at now is 80k counting our town and the surrounding unincorporated areas. With that said, still in your situation, HR had no business leaking your business. I don't care if you live in Greater Los Angeles area...uncouth people talk. Find another company. The one you talked can't be trusted and you found this out now.

Mary Angela Baker

Thought Leader, Educator, Advocate for Women

12/15/20 at 11:07PM UTC

If you do indeed like working where you are currently at, I agree with talking with your current boss. However, you want to have a plan to discuss when having the conversation. One great resource is the book, “Designing Your Work Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans. It has tools to help reimagine your current role into one that takes on more responsibility and challenge. Small towns are tough; friendships are formed around children attending the same school, colleagues may attend the same place of worship, and often people are married or from the same extended family. Always keep in mind that YOU are a professional in all your interactions, both at work and in the community.