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Alexandra Riggs
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192
Business & Community Development Professional
07/14/20 at 9:05PM UTC
in
Career

"I don't know"

Watching my daughter grow, this has become one of the most popular phrases in our household. Yet, I took me 5 years to feel comfortable to start using this phrase again myself. Going through university, then my graduate degree and moving up in my career, I started to feel ashamed to admit that I don’t know something. We live in a society where you are expected to have an opinion on pretty much everything, even when you have no knowledge or interest in the topic. I vividly remember when I first started my graduate program in London after relocation from Moscow and told my classmates than I didn’t know how to format some paper (as I never lived abroad before), I was met with some subtle criticism that made me feel ashamed of not knowing that. The truth is that I was always eager to learn, yet feeling uncomfortable to ask for help or information pushed me to borrow other people’s opinions or form superficial views on topics I spent little time investigating. The purpose of inclusive environment is to enable people’s collective learning and sharing knowledge that one might be lacking. It is impossible to be an expert in every area and actually not knowing something is an opportunity for growth. Trying to learn new things should be rewarding, not intimidating. So now I am finally free to admit there are many things I still don’t know, but the path of learning that what makes me excited.

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Annetta Moses
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1.31k
Consumer Insights and Strategy Leader
07/15/20 at 2:40AM UTC
Depending on the situation, I believe it is acceptable to say I don't know. I also believe that if you are a leader, you need to decide if you can not know or if it is something you need to learn.
Patricia Osborne Randolph
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240
MFT looking to assist with uplifting others
07/15/20 at 12:39AM UTC
If the conversation with your daughter involves expressing emotions or feeling, in my experience with providing service to children and adolescents, the term "I don't know" is sometimes presented as a defense mechanism when discussing emotions and feelings. That response may also apply for adults who are not comfortable sharing. It is helpful to display patience waiting on a response. If the response was to a topic of discussion maybe your daughter has an open-mindset willing to hear all opinions on the subject. I enjoy learning as well! I agree that no one is an expert at everything.
Alexandra Riggs
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192
Business & Community Development Professional
07/15/20 at 12:56AM UTC
Thank you Patricia! This is a great observation.
Aly Brine
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1.59k
Helping Corporate Hippies thrive on LinkedIn!
07/14/20 at 11:22PM UTC
I love this! I think this goes hand in hand with the stigma around not having an opinion on a topic. We're forced to have an opinion on something and NEVER change that opinion. If you change your opinion because you learned something new then, heaven forbid, you're a flip flopper! There's such social pressure to know everything about everything and have an opinion on it. Sometimes I just don't know enough about a topic to have an educated discussion but I'm open to learning from the other people in the conversation!
Alexandra Riggs
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192
Business & Community Development Professional
07/15/20 at 12:54AM UTC
Thank you, Aly! Absolutely agree - changing opinion is a sign of maturity.
Alexis Gladstone
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1.44k
Helping You Excel as a Leader
07/14/20 at 10:52PM UTC
Alexandra I think as leaders during these times (and we are all leaders), being able to say I don't know is critical. There are people looking for answers to a lot of unknowns and we all should be in a place to learn and grow in this environment together. Having the confidence to tell someone you don't know something but will get the answer, or would like to learn from them is powerful.
Alexandra Riggs
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192
Business & Community Development Professional
07/15/20 at 12:55AM UTC
So true Alexis, I feel more attached to leaders that are not afraid to show their vulnerable side.

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