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I can't stay "off" when my boss is "on"
Does anyone else experience this WFH problem? I feel like I used to be great at staying away from work once I left the office. Now that my work laptop is near me at home, any time my boss messages me at weird late hours I hop back on. Everything feels more urgent and I have trouble waiting until the next day to address what she sends me.
At first I thought this would go away after we transitioned to remote work, but it's still going on months later. We're remote until at least the end of the year and I'd love to get my work-life balance back.
Carlie Anglemire
Web Developer
30
07/11/20 at 1:34AM UTC
Thank you for raising this issue. Right now I am unemployed, but in the past I have struggled to set boundaries at night and on the weekend. Hearing about how other people manage this was helpful.
Shannon NussDirector of Style at W Scottsdale
47
07/10/20 at 6:55PM UTC
Maybe ask her if she expects responses? Sometimes people catch up on emails and work in 'off hours' when it's convenient and don't expect responses.
Barb HansenStartup Product, Growth & Strategy
6.67k
07/07/20 at 7:44PM UTC
Bad management practices do not mean that you have to work after hours.
I have worked from home for 15 of the last 20 years - mostly in tech startups.
During my first few years of working from home - I was always available (like always available -- 7 days a week/24 hours a day) .
My first wfh/startup job's boss took advantage of my availability and used to get mad at my co-worker and I if we were available late on a Saturday night to get a project done before this guy got on a plane on Sunday afternoon. I worked there for about 18 months.
My second wfh/startup job's boss did not take advantage of my work ethic. When I interviewed with him, he said, "I have a family and I go home at 5 pm to spend time with my family and I expect you to do the same -- go home and stop working" and Did we work long hours on some days? Yes, of course we did but those long days were planned for and time off after was enforced. His rule was not just an interview tactic, it was a company rule. I worked for this CEO, across many different startups for about 10 years. He was not only respectful of his staff's time but he was a great leader in general.
About 10 years ago, I set hard rules about the hours that I work and my availability by email. I work 8 to 10 hours a day in which I'm available by email during that time.
I may choose to work after hours (my brain likes to work later in the evening) but I DO NOT read, answer or send emails after hours. Period. End of Sentence.
If you ask me if I read your late night email when I get online in the morning, my answer will always be "No, I just started work, give me 30 minutes to get my day started and then I'll respond to your late night email. If you want to chat now, I'm available" It continued to amaze me how many executives (my peers) would still expect me to be available after hours, after I to told them over and over again, "I don't answer emails after hours"
Side Note:
I work in development, and sometimes emergencies happen, and when those emergencies happen our rule is txt me or txt whoever is the designated emergency contact for that week, and the team will respond to your emergency. Of course, we have some long days or weekends during product launches but those are considered extra-ordinary and all staff who works late or works over the weekend get equivalent hours/days off as soon as possible the next week.
Nikki Jones Making a difference by adding value to people!
62
07/07/20 at 7:15PM UTC
Please protect your work and home boundaries. Create the necessary separation. Your job isn't paying you to be on call throughout the day. Your boss can wait. Unfortunately, she now thinks she has the right to bombard you with work items because you respond to her inquiries. That's unacceptable unless you have s contract that explicitly states this is an acceptable process.
Are you able to implement a solution that identifies times you will respond to emails if there is a pressing need?
Orlagh CostelloEngineering Manager for food manufacturing site
1.2k
07/07/20 at 12:48PM UTC
How about turning off the laptop at the end of the day's work? I find this hugely helpful. Shutting down the laptop and putting it away, along with a few other steps of a workday-end ritual really helps me draw a line underneath it and move to the home part of the day. And I think having an open conversation with your boss, outlining expectations on both sides would help. Is it possible she's just emailing when she thinks of things and not realising you feel the need to respond immediately?
I know with my team, the deal is that a phone call means it's urgent and needs immediate attention, an email means it can wait til you next check email, whether that's after the weekend or the following morning or whatever.
Jackie GhedineCoach for Gen X Women | Jack Russell of Humans
5.75k
07/07/20 at 11:32AM UTC
This is very common, especially as the physical barriers between work and home are non-existent. Unfortunately, by responding to your boss every time she 'pings' you, you've created an expectation for both of you that you are readily available. This is going to lead to either feeling resentful to your boss or worse yet, burn out (yes, this happens even without a commute).
It's time to set boundaries and have a direct conversation with your boss.
Do so by being succinct in addressing your concerns and needs, "I'm finding it impossible to turn off work at night and getting messages after 6 adds to my stress level. I would like to find a better way for us to communicate and set boundaries around times of day. I need to be able to turn off my mind from work and spend time with my family. Could we talk about ideas?" By asking her the question, you're making her part of your solution which will give her buy-in.
Good luck.
Elizabeth ShimekJD | Policy & Comms | Swing-state politics
170
07/07/20 at 5:29PM UTC
I agree that communication is the #1 element to solving this issue. #2 is being thoughtful about how you have set up your home to support work/life boundaries while working from home.
I'm also newly remote due to COVID -- one of the biggest things I did in March when we went remote was to set up one part of my house as the "office" and only spend time there during my "work hours". Even if I have to work late (which I regularly do), I eventually am able to get up and leave my "desk" or "office" space and mentally transition to non-work. Even in a small apartment, just stepping away from my desk (computer asleep) and moving across the living room to sit in a different chair for TV/going ten feet away to relax in the bedroom made a huge difference.
It also helps to have a beginning of day/end of day ritual to bookend your work day mentally. I was working out for a half hour before work and a half hour after work and that helped me to mentally transition in and out of my workday, just like a commute.
Leesa OrcuttStay Teachable
34
07/07/20 at 5PM UTC
I agree. Communication is key. If you are in a salaried position its a lot harder to define the work hours since you are paid to do a job regardless of if you do that job in 6 hours a day or 9. That being said, we teach people how to treat us. Creating that expectation as you pointed out is an easy hole to slide down, but that doesn't mean you can't climb back out and having that boundary conversation with your boss.
Elianet OlivaMake things happen!
278
07/06/20 at 7:32PM UTC
It feels like there is a lot of this happening, hence why a lot of people are experiencing new stress-related anxieties like being zoom burn out. It is probably a combination of the current job insecurity (everyone feels they need to perform at all hours of the day to keep their jobs) and the way it all came to be without an actual plan and rules being established for WFH. Do feel you have good communication with your boss to discuss the particulars of these new arrangement? can you ask for some guidelines or talk about best practices for both of you? I find thats the best way to go about it. There is not a department, company or manager who really knows what works best in this situation. Only you and your manager can come up with what works for you guys. Communication is key to keep performance and expectations at the same level.
Anonymous
07/06/20 at 6:46PM UTC
I worked for almost 4 years from home. I also used to be very good at keeping work and home separate but the lines blur even when you do your best for them not to. I remember waking up in the night and remembering to do something and... yeah... at 3 am I would do it. In my experience there are more dynamics than just having your laptop close by. I find there is an expectation that you can log on any time and do things for people... at least that's what I felt in my position. I would like my next job to be in an office and only occasionally work from home. I'm not sure how much this helps except to say that you are not alone.
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