I'm really struggling with my own self protective behavior right now.

I went through several years of that, but I'm also in a niche field and taking another position in my field would literally require moving to another state. I wouldn't necessarily advise sticking it out if you have other options. I stuck with it and eventually had new leadership that took concerns seriously and committed the resources to improving things. My work life is great now, but that's never a guarantee.

To get through that period, I was transparent with my team about what was going on. I was clear about what I wanted/requested from leadership vs what was realistically likely to happen. We strategized on ways we could improve things without additional resources or with only minimal money, while still making a plan for the future (no guarantees at any step of the process and I was also clear that I would understand if they felt they needed to look at other opportunities). We leveraged what we could - small raises for certifications and additional duties (planned for different fiscal years).

As far as frustration with processes or flat-out inability to do everything, I took personal ownership of the parts of the parts of the process that just didn't work right. As long as my staff were doing their best (and they were), I made it clear that I valued their contributions and had them send any upset clients my way. I wrote scripts where possible, but that wasn't always sufficient.

Once we got the resources to have the original scope under control, when random opportunities came up to take on additional responsibilities, I came up with a plan to absorb them (which included a new staff member - I already needed an extra person, but couldn't justify a FTE until we expanded our scope). I also knew there were some tasks that were a good fit for my office and that were held by people who were likely to be retiring. So we were already working on an eventual transition plan when one of those people abruptly retired. I was able to quickly put together a plan that included restructuring with promotions for existing staff and presented that to leadership. They were so thankful someone was stepping up and presenting a solution that everything was approved faster than I've ever seen. I'll be requesting another staff member and (finally) a promotion for myself in a year, now that I have my staff in a better place.