DISCUSSIONS

How do you know when it's time to walk away?

Cheryl Turner image

Cheryl Turner

Welcome to Fairygodboss!

We’re the largest online career community helping women achieve their career goals. Gain access to articles, jobs, events, and a supportive network of women and allies. Membership is free, always.

How do you know when it's time to walk away?

I left a toxic work situation last year and was offered two identical positions. The only difference was one paid $2k more and the other matched up to 10% for the 401K. I went with the second one and I've come to regret it. I was told it was M-F and I could come in 8-4, 9-5, or 10-6. I worked there for 2 weeks and was surprised to find that once a month I was supposed to take a weekend day to be Manager on Duty. I think this should have been mentioned during the interview as I specifically asked about the days and hours.

My 401K which should have been set up and getting contributions and matching is still not. I've brought this up with HR and she contacted the regional and we both keep getting either no answer or "we're looking into it".

I took 4 days of PTO and was told to bring the company laptop and to do some work remotely as they had no one to cover me. I did the work, submitted the hours, it is easy enough to verify since my electronic signature is on the files and time stamped. They did not credit the PTO back or pay me for the hours.

Then we had a complete turnover of the local upper management and the regional is standing in until they can find replacements, he moved the mandatory 9am meeting to 8:30am and since I come in 8-4 it really didn't matter, but then he moved the 3:30pm mandatory meeting to 4:30 and told everyone that we need to be in at 8am at the latest, so we are all now working 9 hour days, but being paid for 8.

Then Friday I was informed that I am giving a presentation this Wednesday sometime between 6-8pm. I'm finding this very upsetting as they never even asked if I was available, they just scheduled it and sprung it on me with less than a week to prepare. They knew they were having this event 6 weeks ago and called it meet and greet and never mentioned an "educational presentation" until they told me Friday I was doing it.

There are other things that I find concerning too and I just don't know if it's time to say enough is enough. I moved to another state to take this job and I really wanted it to work out but everywhere I turn I'm seeing red flags (and it's not just me seeing them). I don't want to risk my professional license. I just know that if something happens they will find anyone they can to take the blame.

How do you know when it's time to walk away?

Why women love us:

  • Daily articles on career topics
  • Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
  • Advice and support from an authentic community
  • Events that help you level up in your career
  • Free membership, always

Like

32 comments

Share

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

32 Comments

Join the conversation
  1. Anonymous

    You know when the culture and expectations don't align with your values.
    It's a personal assessment.

  2. Anonymous

    You answered your question: start looking now.

    I worked at a place as an accountant and thry made ne director of HR in addition to accountant. They trained me wrong purposely as well and CONSTANTLY giving extra work. Im SHOCKED i lived to tell.

    I lasted 8m but started looking within 2w.

    When i gave notice, i was yelled at for not asking permission to leave. Corporate HR begged ne to leave early (lose pto payout) and I refused . I had a countdown timer on my phone in increments of SECONDS.

    When you give 150%, management couldn't care less (pushing for more; breaks aren't permitted)and the more you do, the more you resent yourself.

    Try to hold on until you have something else. I've always waited before I walked. Also be sure to give notice although they may not deserve it

    Been there.

  3. Anonymous

    If one is being mistreated, giving notice is an outdated idea. I know plenty of respectable people who have resigned "effective immediately" (without the threat of termination).

  4. Anonymous

    Damn. Getting yelled at for "not asking permission to leave" Seriously?! I would have walked at that moment. That is unacceptable and unprofessional.

  5. Steven Hawk

    When your concerns over weight your productivity and mind set

  6. Cindy Glover

    I can write a flipping book on this topic

    DONT WAIT

    I ended up with ulcers

  7. Cindy Glover

    I’ll explain more later on this evening

  8. Tia Harris

    The moment you weren't paid for your work-that's when you should've walked away. You're not there to work for free and since you teach people how to treat you-you have taught them this is okay. That is NOT okay, and neither is requiring you to work during your PTO and then having the audacity to not pay you AND not give you your 401 K match! You should've been out of there like you had on gasoline drawers and someone lit a match! Please don't take any more of that crap-hoping it will get better because it will not, and you will end up mentally and physically ill. I know you want to hang in there because you need to know you made the right choice but, maybe you just need to chalk this one up to a "lesson learned". Do what's best for you! You only get one shot at this thing called life! Good Luck!

  9. Melissa Nobile

    When? Now!

    Find a new job and run.

  10. rgstaffing@bellsouth.net

    Having no idea what you do, I would call the first job and see if it is still open. I would absolutely look for another job and take this off your resume if you have not been there for long.

  11. Anonymous

    I wouldn't walk away, I would run! The company sounds very disorganized and going downhill fast.

    I would start looking and even check with the first company if the original offer is available.

  12. Anonymous

    I've got an old colleague who was in a similar situation who stuck it out so that she could get her bonus and to avoid looking like a job-hopper. Over the span of her time with the company, both parents (who didn't live locally) had health issues and one passed away. She got COVID and forced her to come to the office because they simply didn't believe her. She was miserable the entire time she worked there. 2 years she will never get back, she never got to mourn the passing of her mother and 2 years of her company taking advantage of her (and even bullying at times). Life is too short, get out of there now before they can do real damage to your psyche.

  13. Anonymous

    I’m 2 years into a toxic job. I agree with post 100%.

  14. Stephanie Branch Lekowski

    I think you just answered your own question. They are disorganized at best, dishonest at (VERY) worst. They also sound like they're gaslighting you with scheduling you to present at meetings. Cut your losses, revise the resume, and get out of there ASAP.

  15. Marcia Smith

    I think when you have to ask the question - it is time to start looking elsewhere. I had something similar happen to a job I started almost 3 years ago. About 2 months in, I knew it was not a good working environment and my boss was toxic. Instead of looking right away, I started seeing a therapist and tried to deal with the situation. Unfortunately, it just got worse - MUCH worse. Once you know it is a toxic place, start looking and get out as soon as you can and before it damages your health and se lf-esteem.

  16. Anonymous

    I am currently at a toxic job for two years now. I wish I hadn’t stay from the beginning. Working on my exit now.

  17. Marcia Smith

    Good luck - I am sending you extra support :)

  18. Anonymous

    It’s past time.

  19. Anonymous

    Do you mind if I ask if you’re working in property management? This sounds so horribly familiar to me coming from that industry

  20. Cheryl Turner

    Healthcare...

  21. Julie E

    It’s time for you to walk away. For me, it’s when they go back on their word. I can understand an occasional out-of-working hours with plenty of notice but what they are doing is obnoxious.

  22. Anonymous

    It's definitely time to just say no. Work outside of hours is at your discretion. Give them a reason as to why you are not available. It does not have to be a detailed reason but something like I have a prior commitment that cannot be changed you will have to find someone else to present or I can during work hours video my presentation and you can show it during your after hours meeting. As for them not crediting you back the time owed definitely put that in writing with the documentation and let them know you expect that to be corrected. If it is not file a wage claim.

    For the 401K program, if you know who the provider is call them directly and ask them how you can register for that immediately. If you still cannot get that detail send a note to the highest level in either the legal team or the HR person in the company and let them know that you are aware that this is stagnated and you would like it remediated by X date so that you can participate. Some programs have a waiting period after starting so that may be the delay but find out. Ask about the when and how long when you get that company on the phone. Good luck.

  23. LORI-ANN BURLINGAME

    The fact that you are talking about leaving and have outlined so many issues that make your job unplesant -- you are ready to leave. You do not need anyone else's permission.

    However, protect yourself and make a list of what you want in your next job. You my want to check out Louise Hay's website (louisehay.com) before accepting another position. Do you have a pattern of accepting toxic work environments? If so, why?

    Positive thoughts work wonders!

  24. KathyAnn Krajcik

    That decision is totally up to you. If I were in that situation, I would look for something else while I continue to work.

  25. JJ

    As soon as you can find a better job,

  26. James Elliott

    They are taking advantage of you and it's not only morally wrong but illegal. Both my parents were labor lawyers and I grew up learning about labor laws. You're supposed to be paid for every hour you work. Now if you are salaried that's a little bit different, but sounds like you're hourly? Eitherway, all the things you listed were red flags, especially the 401k issue. I would high tail it out of there as soon as you have another job lined up.

  27. PJ Deusenberry

    Get out now. Is the other job still available? I've hired people in similar situations because I hadn't filed the job yet.

  28. Cheryl Turner

    Nope... I wish. There are other jobs locally. Healthcare here has a lot of openings. I have options, I just was hoping I finally found the right fit.

  29. Wanda Shaw

    It seems that this organization is severely disorganized. And it’s rolling downward from the top. Perhaps, the company is going through a restructuring phase. It happens. But If that’s the case, there’s probably more unsettled meanderings on the horizon. If what you prefer is stability and order, then it’s probably best that you begin looking for another opportunity. Otherwise, you’d only end up being frustrated and unhappy.

  30. Anonymous

    Leaving is an absolute must. You don’t even need to put this on your resume. Ask to see if the other position is still available. You can do this!

  31. Anonymous

    It’s been 2 weeks. Do not make the same mistake I’m making as it’s been 2 years in a toxic work environment and on going. Can you wait a little longer in your search / see if that other position is available? If not can continue job hunting a little longer? Don’t put this on your resume as it’s only been 2 weeks

  32. Cheryl Turner

    Just an update... Before I could find a new position they terminated me this morning... I guess I don't have to worry about making a decision now.

Browse recent posts

Ready to land your next sales or marketing role? 🚀💜
Hiii everyone!
I'm. Current looking for remote jobs
The Great American Job Hunt is on. Despite advanced hiring technology, thousands of qualified candidate's report being rejected before a human interview.
I am looking for remote opportunities so that i can stay at home with my grandkids.
Empowering Business Women: Inspiring Women Leaders Making a Global Impact
See more
Fairygodboss VIP
Achieve your career goals.
Be part of the largest online career community for women to find jobs, advice, and support — for free.
Fairygodboss members