Good Morning everyone,
I need advice on an ongoing situation at my job which seems to be getting worse. Background: I am a 67 year old female working part time (30 hours) at a restaurant/gift shop. Been there 4 years.
About two months ago they hired a man who was hired to work in the kitchen. I normally work in the gift shop by myself because the store isn't that busy. The Kitchen Manager complained to HR that he was "coming in drunk", smelled of body odor and in general was unkempt. They shifted him over to my area which upset me. He is very loud with the customers, flirts with the females and will jump in front of me (literally) to wait on an attractive woman. He will often follow people out the door still talking.
I know that he drinks because he lives close by me and will go to the liquor store (I go to the Dollar Tree next door) and buy a bag of miniatures, drinks a couple, throws them on the ground and gets in his car for work. I have also seen him walking to work ( I was sitting at a stop light) drink one of those large cans of beer, pee and keep walking.
I was at the register when he came in that day and he fell into the door and onto his knees. He said he "didn't get any sleep" the night before. And hurried into the bathroom. I brought this to my Supervisors attention and his response was " I can't do anything; he's a functioning alcoholic". I was livid. He is red-faced, skinny as a rail and smells of alcohol and cigarettes. He is also so loud when he talks to me, customers and other employees that I almost jump out of my skin. We have other duties to do such as stocking shelves, empty trash, clean restrooms, etc. I have never seen him do any of these unless I tell him to. I am filled with anxiety each day I know I have to work with him. He talks nonsense such as " I have birds that talk to me", " I'm also a long haul truck driver along with this job", I save rescue cats at home and have about 100".
Does anyone have any advice at all?
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Tina Moreno
Thank you for being so open and vulnerable about your experience. What you’re describing sounds incredibly difficult, anxiety-inducing, and—frankly—unacceptable. You deserve to feel safe, respected, and supported at work, and it’s clear from your message that the environment you’re in right now is failing to provide that.
Several of the behaviors you’ve described—showing up intoxicated, falling through the door, neglecting duties, creating discomfort for customers and coworkers—are serious red flags that warrant immediate attention from management and HR. The fact that your concerns were met with a dismissive comment like “he’s a functioning alcoholic” is troubling and, frankly, neglectful. They have a legal and ethical responsibility to provide a safe workplace for all employees.
You absolutely have power in this situation. If you feel comfortable and safe doing so, you might consider calling out inappropriate behavior in the moment—for example, “Hey John, please let me finish helping this customer” or “That comment isn’t appropriate in front of customers.” Sometimes establishing boundaries in real time can reinforce that the behavior is not acceptable, especially if others in leadership are failing to set that tone.
It’s also important to document your concerns in writing. HR can’t claim ignorance if they’re presented with clear, firsthand observations—and even if they still choose not to act, your documentation will protect you. Below is a sample letter you could use to outline what you’ve experienced. I suggest CC’ing your manager and HR so that there’s a clear record of the concern.
Sample Letter to HR:
Subject: Follow-Up on Workplace Safety and Conduct Concern
Dear [HR Manager’s Name],
I’m writing to formally document concerns I’ve raised regarding an ongoing workplace situation that is causing me significant stress and anxiety during my shifts.
I’ve been with the company for four years, working part-time in the gift shop. Roughly two months ago, a male employee was moved from the kitchen to my area, and since then, I’ve witnessed multiple instances of behavior that I believe violate our workplace expectations around safety and professionalism.
Specifically, I observed the following:
He arrived one morning and fell into the doorway onto his knees before heading straight to the bathroom.
He frequently speaks loudly, to the point of startling me and others, and interrupts interactions with customers—especially women—by jumping in front of me to serve them, making them visibly uncomfortable.
He follows customers out the door while continuing to talk to them, which some have found unsettling.
He does not regularly complete shared responsibilities such as restocking or cleaning, often leaving tasks unaddressed unless prompted.
When I brought the incident of him falling through the door to my supervisor’s attention, I was told, “I can’t do anything—he’s a functioning alcoholic.” That response left me feeling unheard and unsupported, especially as my physical and emotional safety at work continues to be affected.
I am not a medical professional and cannot make judgments about someone’s health, but I can speak to the behaviors I’ve observed in the workplace and how they affect my ability to do my job.
I respectfully request that this matter be investigated, and that I be kept informed of any steps taken to ensure a safe and respectful work environment for all employees and customers.
Thank you for your time and attention to this serious matter.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
You’ve done nothing wrong by speaking up. If your current leadership won’t act, and if this behavior continues unchecked, you may want to explore external reporting options, depending on your state or local labor laws.
You’ve worked hard, you’ve earned your place, and you deserve to be treated with dignity and care. I’m rooting for you and here if you need help thinking through next steps. ?
Anonymous
There are some good comments and suggestions here. I agree about keeping the situation visible to management. One thing that can get management's attention faster than you complaining is for a customer to. If you interact with someone who has a bad experience with him, give them the email address of the restaurant's HR person/general manager. That and a scathing review on Google/Yelp/another review site could get some action.