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Depressed by boss
I started contractor working in Jan 2018 at my job, in December the new CEO started, on our initial meeting she stated she did not see my value to the team and how my role fitted in. I was more than a little upset at home but at work tried to be professional amongst staff but did cry in front of her on a 121 meeting as felt so deflated by her continued comments.
She accused me of be being emotional immature and suggested career coaching (a good suggestion delivered badly). She now for the past year side lined me- any project i offer to do goes to someone else, on Zoom meetings she says my line managers team- lists all except me then makes me a section on the call on my own. She called me last week to state my role is up for review, and will be changing to staff not contractor and if i wish to apply for the role i can.
I feel so depressed as i just feel i won't get the role because of her. My performance is always well rated by the clients and team. it is my dream role, Should i just cut my losses and leave? what can the community advise?
Anonymous
09/28/20 at 6:33PM UTC
I'm so sorry that this is such a challenging time for you.
First and foremost, your mental wellness is critical. Please take care of that. There are many physicians, counselors and therapists available through EAP programs in workplaces, and, if you don't have insurance, community resources that may help. I encourage you to seek care and go gently with yourself. You are valuable. If not to this company, then somewhere else. One person may not see your value today, but that can be a gift that leads you to where you need to be.
I would just gently remind you that if you have a CEO who promotes a culture of calling people out in the middle of meetings and making them cry, that's not a dream job, not matter what the company does or what you do for it.
There's usually a reason that there's a new person in that lead chair. Any new C-suite employee, especially a CEO or COO, is going to look at the product/service, sales, goals and objectives, budget, etc. and make some decisions. That's their job. They are going to want to make as big an impact on the bottom line as they can before the end of the fiscal year. Especially this year. Fall is here and that's a time when many companies make decisions about staff so they have a few months to reap the benefit of not spending.
While I would definitely handle it differently, the CEO is calling you out because she either prefers that you show yourself the door, or she wants you to give a list of things that make you valuable. Regardless of her approach, she's not getting that from you right now. And, she sounds like someone who doesn't like perceived weakness in others. You cried, and while you are allowed your feelings, others will inevitably have opinions about you because of it. Posting an internal position when you are a contract worker is definitely a confirmation of that in my mind.
It's difficult to consider that your work product may not be valuable or achieve the results your company needs, but you must be honest with yourself about how your work fits in with the strategic goals and objectives of the organization as it stands today.
Some questions to consider:
Does what you provide contribute to the bottom line? If so, how? If you generate revenue, how much? How often? How does that offset the cost of your role?
Could the company do without your work product either with someone else providing the work or because the work product is obsolete, etc.?
Would the CEO welcome a meeting where you present your value?
Would the CEO treat you differently if you performed differently or proved your worth with data?
Would you still want to work for her if she did?
I think you want to look at all of that as objectively as you can. Look around in the meantime to see where else you might bring value and feel good about your contributions.
Good luck!
User deleted comment on 09/28/20 at 6:03PM UTC
Juliana Vieira Habib Oliveira
HR Associate Advisor in São Paulo
66
09/28/20 at 4:31PM UTC
Hi!
Before deciding to stay or leave, I would suggest you to go back on your goals that you both have agreed in the beginning of the year.
Take a look exactly what you were expecting from yourself, what the company was expecting and, mostly, your Leader too.
After doing this review, make a real and consistent 1:1 session with her (or your manager) about your deliverables. Each company has a specific methodology and time to talk and review performance & evaluations. However, on this session, you would be able to bring your point of view with consistency (what was proposed in the beginning and numbers proving what you have done).
My suggestion about her point of you, in terms of behavior, would not be acting against it ( I am not saying she is right or wrong).
I had a wonderful manager, once, who told me: “a point of view is “only” a point of view. Dont take with you if you don’t agree. But pay attention how people are watching you”.
If you dont agree on what she pointed you, ask more feedbacks from other people - exactly as you already said. Clients, peers, people wuo may report you, other dotted line managers. Even her official feedback. However, ask the same questions to everybody, and have them officially in a way to keep it: e-mail, performance system.
Show them, you are not interested to complain; much more, to looking for opportunities to work on yourself it doesn’t matter if you agree or not.
Some of questions you could ask:
-which projects have we worked together?
-which companies value do you believe I already perfom my best? Do you remember a situation I could represent it?
-which companies value would you believe I still have opportunities to keep working? Do you have examples of any situations where I missed it?
-do you remember a situation when I truly helped you? If I really did, would you mind describing it?
-do you have any recommendations else for me keep working on my career path?
I hope this can help you.
Best,
Juliana Oliveira
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