Unfortunately I have encountered some very malicious cliques in my time. Most recently at a school where I was a teacher's assistant.
My colleagues would talk in the room as if I were not there. They would also make that obvious to the students that I was responsible for and that caused them to not listen to me when I gave directives. I did not fit into the clique and eventually ended up leaving as after 3 years of their targeted mental abuse of me, I nearly had a mental breakdown.
If you see someone on your work team who is on the quiet side, don't leave them out. Don't talk as if they are not in the room. If the person is from a different culture, don't use that as an excuse either. You are there to WORK and not just on your social life. You are paid to do a job and you are to get along with your colleagues.
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22 Comments
22 Comments
Anonymous
11/17/20 at 8:18AM UTC
I’m sorry you had to experience this. I am curious did you report this at any time to your superior? If so, what was the outcome prior to your eventual decision to resign?
Thanks for sharing. I definitely can sympathize. I have been in work environments where cliques are acceptable and I always found them immature and strange for a work environment since you are there to work as opposed to hang out with several like minded people. It’s natural to potentially make friends but cliques are not for the workplace and your story is a perfect example of that.
1 Reply
User deleted comment on 11/17/20 at 9:29PM UTC
Anonymous
11/17/20 at 9:34PM UTC
I did talk with HR last year in October and nothing was done. We took a break and worked from home starting in March thru end of school year for the virus. Came back in August and the same nasty behavior was present but was taken up a few notches. I talked with HR about it and there was not going to be anything and I knew that. I signed my resignation papers in October of this year. It's so much more than just some clique action, it was a lot of nasty conniving behaviors. I have 3 years in and excellent performance reviews from management so this is not a total waste.
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Anonymous
11/17/20 at 10:51PM UTC
This is bullying, plain and simple. I would make sure the school administrators know regardless of how long ago you left-it's as damaging for you as the target of their immaturity as it is for children to see it in action and learn it for themselves.
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1 Reply
Anonymous
11/18/20 at 12:08AM UTC
I was absolutely bullied by those 2 women. Management doesn't like to get involved and I didn't want to constantly pester but I did want something on record
1 Reply
Anonymous
11/18/20 at 9:24PM UTC
You are not a pester. Sounds like they did not want to manage a problem.
Your career was on the line and you deserve to be heard. The silver lining in this is that you are no longer there and can use this experience as a beautiful reminder to make sure it doesn't happen again.
1 Reply
Anonymous
11/18/20 at 9:49PM UTC
They absolutely know the situation and the people involved. It's been mentioned a total of 3 times if I count my resignation. Management DOES not care as evidenced by their actions.
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Allison Kostiuk
45
Marketing, Consulting & Project Management
11/17/20 at 10:55PM UTC
Anonymous, so sorry you had to go through this. I am truly a believer in "when one door closes another one opens." I know you were not the reason the door closed and it was an inappropriate work clique but maybe this is a sign there is something better for you. Hold your head up high and know you are an asset to your next employer. Again sorry you are going through this. I have been there too and its not easy.
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2 Replies
Karisa Karmali
604
Founder of Self-Love and Fitness
11/17/20 at 11:55PM UTC
Redirection at its finest!
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Anonymous
11/18/20 at 12:09AM UTC
I'm absolutely enjoying my time off in between jobs.
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Juanita James
94
Black Librarian in BKLYN, NY
11/17/20 at 11:36PM UTC
I'm very sorry you had this experience at work. The office politics is wrong and does not do any good the organization in the long run. I'm at my organization for 20 years and encountered many work cliques. I've been in some but mostly on the outside of them all. I learned to do my best and stand up for myself and others if need be. Make sure you maintain your integrity and people will follow you, trying to get to know because you gave a positive attitude that they are looking for.
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1 Reply
Anonymous
11/18/20 at 12:11AM UTC
Most of my jobs didn't have these problems. It was just this pair of women who made sure to isolate me socially from the other teachers I worked with. Make no mistake, Mean Girls still exist as grownups.
1 Reply
Juanita James
94
Black Librarian in BKLYN, NY
11/18/20 at 2:12PM UTC
That is very true
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Karisa Karmali
604
Founder of Self-Love and Fitness
11/17/20 at 11:55PM UTC
When you're a threat, you are the target. I have gone through this at least 5 times, what a sad breed of humans... You're amazing, keep going! The right people will love you.
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1 Reply
Anonymous
11/18/20 at 12:10AM UTC
That was the case. Though I never bragged about having a gifted range I.Q., it showed in the quality of work that I did.
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Sharon Harriger
235
Financial Services Professional
11/18/20 at 1:24AM UTC
Just know that you are brave to tell your story. That in itself hopefully is therapeutic and gives you a sense of self worth.
While you are looking for work, take some to heal. So you can be ready to handle this type of bullying if it happens again.
Many workplaces have a no tolerance policy for bullying. I work at a company where you sign an acknowledgement that you read the "no bullying policy". Therefore, you do have rights to go to HR and report this type of behavior.
Hopefully you will have a much better atmosphere at your next employer. So get ready for an amazing opportunity around the corner!
1 Reply
Anonymous
11/18/20 at 2:24PM UTC
I definitely am taking time to heal. What was done to me was over a span of 3 years. I simply won't tolerate it ever again or for that long. I know what to look for in the future.
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Kristen
56
Rock Star Administrator
11/18/20 at 12:47PM UTC
Terrible experience... I feel for you. You are so correct that Mean Girls still exist as adults. Good for you for getting out of that situation. I think that bullies are so scary for management/human resources to try to address and/or correct. It's hard to prove and often turns into a (s)he said/(s)he said situation. Be confident that it's not you... It's them. Most bullies are truly insecure about some self deficiency.... I once said to my bully "You know, hating ME does not make YOU better." Best of luck in your new position!
1 Reply
Anonymous
11/18/20 at 2:28PM UTC
I wasn't expecting management to ride in the calvary so to speak but there are ways to investigate these issues and ways to put the kibosh on it without appearing to be pointing fingers. The real issue is that management doesn't care until it affects them. Instructional Assistants are a dime a dozen. One leaves, they simply hire a new one.
I'm good to go on in a new direction. No more educational institutions.
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Anonymous
11/18/20 at 2:29PM UTC
Thanks everyone for the online support. Really appreciated as I go through a tough time of healing.
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DeLisa Simon-Dawkins, MBA, MT(ASCP)
89
Consultant, Business Faculty, Market Strategist
11/19/20 at 7:39PM UTC
I am sorry that you endured this episode.. however, it is these things that make us more resilient moving forward in our career path. You will also have the position of mentoring others as they enter the treacherous waters of office politics.
1 Reply
Anonymous
11/19/20 at 8:11PM UTC
Quite true.
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Elizabeth Marie
188
Scientist and M.B.A. Candidate
11/20/20 at 10:30PM UTC
Ugh!! I hate when this happens. I’ve had it happen at church and more recently at work too. I left church for a new one and it’s a little better. For work, the issue was just recently resolved after 6 years of dealing with it. I told my superiors early on about it, but then eventually he got more complaints and withheld her promotion until she started treating me and a few others better. I hope your leaving the situation provides peace!
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