Stuck and stressed.
Recently I was issued a first and final written warning at work. I was accused of saying vulgar and derogatory comments to another coworker. The problem is I didn’t. Not even close. The coworker who accused me of this had been underhandedly causing me problems for a month before this - and despite me asking them if there was an issue so that I could resolve it.. they denied any problem but kept up with their behavior. I have a chance to appeal but I’m afraid to. I feel like if I do that, it will put a target on my back. I need my job. I’m a single mom and have been at my job for almost 3 years with a spotless record prior to this. I don’t know what to do. It’s stressful and so depressing. I feel like all my hard work now counts for nothing and I’m just working hard to “make it” and not get terminated.
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Anonymous
appeal, i had the same issue, i am working at a law firm that i worked for 11 years, left and came back. in that first time never had an issued and also when I came back last year. This year a new employee started and i have been her target since she joined the firm. She accused me of the same thing that you are being accused of and I received a written warning and I advised my bosses why wasn't I asked about this and HR only took one side of the story, my one boss said that since they are lawyers they should have done a due process investigation just like they do for any cases. I asked for a meeting with my two bosses and HR and HR really didn't want my bosses in the meeting and asked them not to come into the meeting but they both said that they needed to hear the whole story. Point was that HR didn't do her job correctly. Do i still have a target on my back, yup because I have called out the errors on both HR and the person who wants me gone twice. So now every time something comes up I go to my bosses to give them a heads up and they deal with HR.
JD Magick
Hey there - all the stuff that was offered is good and solid advice. This thing will be ugly no matter how you look at it and you will be the one left feeling paranoid about it.
So yes:
1) Document everything so you have it down while you are clear headed and even though you will probably take a printed copy of it to the appeal meeting, make sure there is a digital copy that you send to HR with all the same information. Let me be clear - I'm not suggesting this. I'm telling you to do this - it is important to have a digital paper trail with time stamps that are more than "5" minutes before your meeting.
2) Start looking for another job, BUT do NOT tip your hand to anyone. Do this before things get worse (and they probably will).
3) Go through the appeal process with no intention of staying at this job. You will not want to stay working for this company when it sinks in just how fickle they are. Good companies do not do a first and final warning without something in writing and a face to face meeting.
4) Accept the new job. (Hopefully you will have it before your meeting.)
5) Walk away from the appeal meeting knowing you have fully documented this incident so the next time she does this to someone, there is an established pattern they can look at.
That's right - I'm telling you to find a different job on the sly. I'm telling you to go through with the appeal meeting like it's important for you.
What you are doing is setting up a paper trail of her petty undermining. Believe me, you won't be the last, but with your statements to the appeal board, It could make it very hard for her to mess with the next target in her sights.
Good Luck and be blessed.