Everything is topsy turvy during the pandemic. I’ve returned to working in a previous industry I hated, to make ends meet. I’m lucky because the money’s pretty good but the job is pitiful. I’m barely tolerating it ... for too many reasons to mention. The worst part is, I’m on a group text chat. Some of the communication is work related but most is just mindless chatter and emojis. Sometimes my phone blows up. I can’t silence text notifications because I’m a caregiver for my family and I need to be at the ready. And they keep asking me to pull extra shifts even though I’ve made it clear that I have other commitments to my elderly mother and other more suitable work I’ve been doing, now very part time (b/c of COVID.)
Do I ignore? Continue nicely declining (which hasn’t seemed to give them the hint that I don’t want to be bothered on my “weekend” which is Monday and Tuesday)? Or do I need to use more direct language that the constant texting on my days off is very annoying? I understand it would be quite the hassle to send a separate text, just to me when there is group related info, but like I said, it’s mostly meaningless chatter. These are 20 somethings with no management experience and no respect for boundaries. It’s a low budget operation with very unprofessional teammates. I owe them nothing but my 20 hours of good work.
How can I get my point across without being more of a curmudgeon than I already am?
Oh, by the way, my “manager” has already started listening to Christmas music every day because “he just loves it”. The work I love and should be performing, using my masters’ degrees, has to do with equity and inclusion and conflict resolution. I know that shoving the Christmas experience down our clients’ throats is not inclusive and for some may be down right offensive. I hate dumbing myself down at work and ignoring the fact that this Christmas music is not welcomed by many ...but trying to make my point seems like an exercise in futility.
I feel like I’m losing my mind.
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10 Comments
10 Comments
Anonymous
11/16/20 at 7:06PM UTC
Agree with you that constant, non-business-related texting from colleagues is a royal! What I did (I, too, have an elderly mother and am second caregiver, on notice) was put my Do Not Disturb on my phone, giving only my sister (primary caregiver for mom) and my 3 children override, so their texts (each with their own text alert sound) would come through and the general 'stuff' could wait until I had dedicated time to check.
As far as Christmas Music in the office, this practice may be against company policy and could, and should be dealt with through HR. Many companies do not allow staff to listen to music, but if so, it is generally required to be soft enough not to be heard by others within/without the immediate deskspace of the listener.
You are NOT a curmudgeon. You are a Professional working woman with (GASP) Ethics & a life outside the office. DO NOT ACQUIESCE!
I had a younger coworker that did things that were totally disruptive and way out of line in any situation. After repeated attempts to have her back down, and discussions with both her boss and mine, to no avail, I purchased earbuds and played my own quite music in my ears and blocked it all out. Saved my sanity, for sure!
Good luck in whatever you decide. But breathe, you can handle it.
User edited comment on 11/16/20 at 7:07PM UTC
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1 Reply
Jillian Post
1.27k
Building better communication strategies
11/16/20 at 10:51PM UTC
Some texts DO have biz info, so I have to let them come through. It’s just that the manager doesn’t bother to separate the threads. Ugh!
1 Reply
Anonymous
11/17/20 at 4:42PM UTC
A lot of businesses today use Slack for that reason - to keep the threads separate...maybe suggest???
1
Reply
Deborah Flory Maedke
35
11/16/20 at 8:50PM UTC
I'll bet the company doesn't realize you don't like the Christmas music. Sometimes the culture of a company is just that way. I wouldn't care for listening to it either ... especially this early in the year, but I have a gut instinct they have no idea it bothers you.
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Anonymous
11/16/20 at 10:54PM UTC
Yeah, he knows. Another employee and I have expressly let him know. He just laughs and thinks we’re being Scrooge like. I already told him, it has nothing to do with that. It’s not fair to push that on our clients and make every employee listen to what HE wants.
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Brigitte Granger
45
Founder/CEO of Supporti
11/17/20 at 10:24PM UTC
Just adding one additional tip: if you can't put your entire phone on silent/Do Not Disturb, you can go into the settings of the group text and choose Hide Alerts. Then you can check the messages once a day (or week) to see if you missed anything important. Good luck!
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Reply
Karisa Karmali
604
Founder of Self-Love and Fitness
11/17/20 at 10:31PM UTC
Could you go on airplane mode or hide alerts during your unpaid time?
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Kristen Wavle
82
Private School Counselor in Baltimore
11/18/20 at 1:12PM UTC
First of all, share this:https://www.wbaltv.com/article/christmas-songs-mental-health-effect-experts/13452790?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2%2C149%20new%20coronavirus%20cases%20reported%20Monday.%20We%27ll%20have%20Hogan%27s%20live%20announcement%20at%202%20p.m.&utm_term=wbal_news_local_breaking.
Also, is it possible to get another line for your emergency contacts to use? That way, you could silence the group chat notifications but still have access to calls about your family. You could even consider a super cheap option (prepaid or tracphone) for one group or the other.
I am sorry that you have to deal with this. If nothing else works, you might want to have a conversation with whoever you feel has "power" in the group about your boundaries and why you need to enforce them.
Ultimately, nothing will change unless you ask them to or you make changes to your situation. Good luck! And, whenever it is appropriate for you - happy holiday(s)!
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Chelsea
14
Career Coach Empowering Ambitious Women
11/18/20 at 6:48PM UTC
This sounds very challenging and I absolutely understand how frustrating group texts can be - especially when they are not work related!
If you have an Iphone- you can go into the 'info' of the group text and choose to 'Hide Alerts' or even 'Leave Conversation'. I would definitely encourage you to hide the alerts, at least, because that way you can still see any messages that are work-related, but you can read through it on your own time rather than having your phone constantly dinging.
If that doesn't work for you, it is absolutely appropriate to ask to be removed from the group chain - you are a professional, not a curmudgeon, and you have the right to assert your boundaries!
Reply
Elizabeth Marie
188
Scientist and M.B.A. Candidate
11/20/20 at 10:37PM UTC
I’m in agreement with the hide alerts option, or possibly having a work line and a personal one. For me, it was late night emails from my boss. I turned off notices on my phone for my work email but I can still read them there when I have to
Reply
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