Holding on and Letting go

January 15- April 27 What a wild ride. Why January 15 instead of March 15, like the rest of the US? I worked for a European company, we got shut down much earlier. Holding on to the good: I got to prepare for what was coming. I cleaned, I cried, I celebrated. Letting go of "Normal." I miss my team, I hope they are doing well and being safe. I miss my routine and travel. I really miss great papanasi and sour soups. I had two months to prepare. Two months to wrap my head around, what I new was going to be, this earth shattering change. I hold tight to my family, my pets, and, what's left of, my sanity. I let go of the things I "normally" do. No more daily horseback rides (too dangerous if I get hurt), no more daily trips to the market for the freshest veggies and fruits, no more salon styled hair color. I hold on to the good changes: Meal planning with the family, the use of pantry "staples" that have never been used, creative evenings when TV is finally too boring, having the opportunity to hang out with my teenager doing yardwork and walking the dogs. I'm letting go of my mantra to "assume positive intent," as it simply isn't true. Especially not of US politicians. I'm holding on to the fact that most people are good, but maybe uninformed. I'm letting go of the hope that US society can be repaired, because it shouldn't be repaired, it needs to be ripped out by the roots and completely re-created. I'm holding on to the fact that there are enough people in this world who value life over vanity that we can fix this. I'm letting go of every person in my life who is actively violating and mocking the quarantine. I'm holding on to hope.