This is exhausting...where to go from here?

Anonymous

November 19,2022 at 7:50PM UTC

Welcome to Fairygodboss!

We’re the largest online career community helping women achieve their career goals. Gain access to articles, jobs, events, and a supportive network of women and allies. Membership is free, always.

This is exhausting...where to go from here?

I've been in the workforce for 20+ years, and it's heartbreaking to read in blogs and on the news how toxic workplaces have become. I thought my bad luck was unique.

Here's a brief rundown:

Job 1: Sexual harassment/job sabotage

Job 2: Company I work for is major contributor to the Great Recession. Those that keep our jobs are told not to mention our employer, or risk getting beat up.

Job 3: Company makes an obvious blunder and has to do layoffs, but doesn't want to pay severance; goes the "make people so miserable they voluntarily leave" route. One lady has to quit because she keeps having panic attacks that land her in hospital. Our boss flips out on his department in Florida when they dare to take a (company approved) day off to prepare for a hurricane.

After that one I was unemployed for a year. Then I got a godsend: An executive I knew would make a place for me, where I would implement new technology to cut down on inefficiency. Spent the pandemic working from home. But once things went back to normal...

Current situation: Put on probation because the "inefficiencies" are actually corrupt directors who are involved in things like wage theft. My friend the executive can't do anything about it, because they stole her power ages ago, and she became a figurehead without knowing it.

I've asked myself "now what"? a lot in the past 20 years, and it's getting harder to find answers! To see so many other people suffering the same things (or worse) is heartbreaking.

Why women love us:

Daily articles on career topics
Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
Advice and support from an authentic community
Events that help you level up in your career
Free membership, always

11 comments

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

11 Comments

Join the conversation

AnonymousNovember 19,2022 at 9:58PM UTC
It's strange to even think I'm unique. I have work close to 50 years and can't say I have ever work in a toxic company. Sure there are been ineffective management, shady leadership and unhappy angry people here and there but never had any of it touch me personally, impede my progress, deny me a raise, promotion or bonus.
I think I just move out before anyone can pose a problem. I usually last between 3 and 5 years tops.
AnonymousNovember 20,2022 at 1:56PM UTC
I am sincerely happy that you've gone this far and haven't been touched by toxicity. Yet. I didn't have my first toxic workplace until I was in my forties. Since then, I've not only experienced it myself but seen it up close and personal happening to other people.
AYANNALYSENovember 20,2022 at 5:32PM UTC
Same, I always leave before it gets bad no way I will accept demeaning treatment. The last time I accepted this behaviour I lasted a month left with no other job in place and in fact left with my confidence up high that I was able to find a job within 2 months of leaving.
AnonymousNovember 19,2022 at 11:33PM UTC
I hear this and I think you're trying to be helpful. I agree that a lot of things are energy AND sometimes its about other people's energy and motivations. Sometimes really good natured, ethical, kind people do attract messed up situations because nasty, corrupt, mean people might prey on that. So yes jorunal or do what it takes to heal from abuses and know that it's NOT your fault and you also don't have to remain stuck or put up with it. You do have choices and it might be difficult, but you are worthy of good experiences.
Sometimes we have bad experiences just because the world is complicated. We can choose to learn from them, grow, make something personally meaningful from them if we want.
AnonymousNovember 20,2022 at 1:10PM UTC
As a Gen Xer, I'm thrilled to see all the Millenials and Gen Z's speaking up! It gives me hope that things might actually get better!
AnonymousNovember 21,2022 at 5:09AM UTC
Thanks for your input! This site helps when coping skills left forr the day!! You stay positive too!!
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 10:08AM UTC
What I've found as an opportunity for "now what"......is consulting. I have 40+ years of experience. I knew my sweet spot and I intuitively knew I wanted control over my career and earning power. I parlayed my skills and expertise into a side hustle first and as I gained more confidence for several years and added clients (all former employers) I discovered my "new career" during the pandemic. I filled my days with 5 to 6 hours of work earning 4x my prior salary. I purchased my own benefits as a small business, built my retirement to close to twice what it was in 2019 and am now planning to down size soon to working 15 hours per week and enjoying my 60s.
I was naturally drawn to opportunities that provided freedom both financially and professionally. I didn't see it as a career pivot at the time but really leaned to the possibility a year in. With the pandemic came great opportunity. Companies don't always want to hire full time leaders. But they need the expertise and I naturally found my niche.
It's funny because I used to wonder how people built lives so full of freedom and I accidentally learned how.
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 2:58PM UTC
I agree, what the hey happened to everybody running companies? It's not the 70's any more gang. Grow up, clean it up, be honest in your business dealings with your employees, vendors, subcontractors and customers! Wouldn't that be super refreshing? Jeez, it ain't hard. Everything else is just so lame - really, people still do wage theft, really? Dang. It's a nightmare out there. Also, if current directors are involved in things like wage theft, you can feel free to file complaints with EEOC and SEC too if they're publicly traded. Meantime, the best best thing you can do is relax. You need to find clarity for your next move. It helps when you build the distance between you and the weird problems. I wish you very best of luck!
Me!November 22,2022 at 5:01PM UTC
I too have 20+ years of experience and am absolutely convinced every job will come with a mess. If the company is great, the boss will be toxic and if you get a great boss the company will be trash. When the company and boss are ok, the politics and or ethics are bad. At this point if I find the unicorn of jobs It will be in the twilight zone. It took me a long time to understand hard work and dedication will not payoff. Bottom line, I need to have fair pay. The work needs to interest me and I must be surround by, at least a few people who are passionate.
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 6:40PM UTC
There are great teams and great companies out there. I have been fortunate to find a job on one of those. Every job has something you won't like but keep looking for your fit. You will find it. Good luck.
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 10:39PM UTC
I feel you. I could add to that list. So, for the past 20 years, I have a side gig that I can go to and grow if I'm so inclined. As long as we're working for other people, there are going to be ridiculous messes. Try to really ground yourself and think about your strengths-what are you better at than most people? Then search for organizations who are looking for your skillset. They are out there. I promise. But you have to put yourself first. You have the answers. You just don't know it yet.