1.57k
02/09/21 at 8:14PM UTC
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Rejected from a job again?
Sometimes, the job search can feel like a path to nowhere in a market as tough as today’s — especially for women.
We’re looking for your best advice for FGB’ers who are feeling down thanks to their job search. Have you had a long job search? How did you deal with rejection and keep the momentum? Do you have advice or words of encouragement?
39 Comments
Kaitlin MorrisonB2B SaaS Writer + Content Marketer
53
02/09/21 at 9:35PM UTC
The advice I go back to again and again is something my dad told me years ago - you can't win out there unless you can win the battle inside your mind. When I get discouraged by a career or business problem, my first instinct is to quit. But I've also learned to push back, and that's critical to survival.
For me, negative self-talk is a problem. So it's essential for me to make sure I'm not undermining myself. You do have control over what you tell yourself and what thoughts you choose to believe about yourself.
Seize that and use it to your advantage. It's helped me on job searches before and no doubt it'll be there for me next time.
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Anonymous
02/09/21 at 9:47PM UTC
This is so valuable and definitely a common roadblock in the job search process. Do you have any specific phrases you tell yourself to help control negative thoughts?
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Kaitlin MorrisonB2B SaaS Writer + Content Marketer
53
02/09/21 at 11:40PM UTC
Thanks for asking this question. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) practices were a game changer for me. I started self-studying what I could relate back to my career and finding my phrases and positive self-talk from that.
If all else fails, I pull my "brag file" of past positive references, kind things coworkers or clients said about me, and great feedback I've received and revisit that. We need to save the positive feedback we've received at work and keep it for when we're struggling.
This helps me keep negative thinking from spiraling out of control. I still have to be intentional about it because I'm definitely susceptible.
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Alisa BlumEnhancing Individual & Organizational Success
67
02/09/21 at 10:14PM UTC
Staying positive during the job hunt is very challenging. Focusing on your strengths and all that you can offer can help prevent a spiral of self-doubt and negativity. I have written a book that outlines many strategies for staying positive during the job hunt called "Maintaining a Positive Attitude While Unemployed: A Step-by-Step Guide for Staying Motivated During the Job Hunt" which is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. I'm also planning to offer a workshop on this subject.
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Robin OstrovStrategic, Collaborative HR Leader/TA Expert
14
02/10/21 at 4:31PM UTC
Would definitely attend a workshop on this!
1 Reply
Alisa BlumEnhancing Individual & Organizational Success
67
02/11/21 at 8:16PM UTC
Hi Robin. My workshop, "Strategies for Staying Motivated During the Job Hunt" is scheduled for March 3rd from 12 to 2PM Pacific Time. Feel free to contact me with any questions at 503-481-7586 or [email protected] Here's the link to register:https://www.eventbrite.com/e/strategies-for-staying-motivated-during-the-job-hunt-tickets-141188062295
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Lynette HallMotivated, innovator, builds teams and systems.
217
02/09/21 at 10:23PM UTC
Always, always, always remember, "You already DON'T work for these people." You will be the same person going out that you were going in. Don't let the experience between those 2 points change YOU!
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Brittany Causey
15
02/10/21 at 1:16PM UTC
That's really good.
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AlyssonCommunications Specialist
67
02/09/21 at 10:24PM UTC
This is a tough one, especially when we are faced with such challenging circumstances all around us during this pandemic. Knowing you are not alone (and you are not) can be a big help; 2020 and 2021 have seen a great deal of upheaval in many industries. As someone who has recently pivoted in my own career to assisting with resume reviews, LinkedIn profile assistance, etc, I can say with utmost certainty: YOU have unique characteristics and qualities that no one else has. It can be hard to see them when you aren't feeling 100%. But I know this for a fact. Connect with a trusted friend, family member or former colleague and ask for their feedback on what they see as your strengths. They will likely point out skills and traits that you never realized. We are often our own worst critics - be kind to yourself and remember that this too shall pass.
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Monique Johnson, Ed.D.Career Strategist and Principal DEI Consultant
158
02/09/21 at 10:33PM UTC
This may sound mushy to some but I encourage myself by saying if the door didn't open, it wasn't my door. That doesn't mean I'm not disappointed and in my feelings for a day or so when it doesn't work out in my favor. I just don't allow myself to stay there. I also take time to evaluate myself and I consider what I could have done better. In some cases, it's obvious but in others not so much. I just keep pressing and showing up with excellence.
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Kaitlin MorrisonB2B SaaS Writer + Content Marketer
53
02/09/21 at 11:46PM UTC
This is great. Even the best opportunities probably have downsides, but we don't think about that when we just experienced rejection! That long commute or not-ideal PTO policy isn't our problem anymore if we didn't get the job. It wasn't meant to be and we can remind ourselves that.
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Robin OstrovStrategic, Collaborative HR Leader/TA Expert
14
02/10/21 at 4:32PM UTC
Yes! I also keep telling myself “it wasn’t meant to be”.
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Cinzia IacovelliMarketing Project Manager, Digital Events
472
02/10/21 at 9:37PM UTC
"If the door didn't open, it wasn't my door." I may want this printed on a t-shirt, Monique! :)
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Anonymous
02/09/21 at 10:43PM UTC
My advise would be the advise given to me by a friend. Do not spend your entire day looking for a job. Plan out your day with blocks of 3 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the late afternoon. Get productive in between. That means DIY projects, exercise, community volunteering. You are in it for the long haul. Stay invigorated by not focusing full time on your search. Do not drive yourself crazy. Your job is out there. It will come to you when it comes. At a certain point it's a case of diminishing returns and burn out which opens the door to depression, illness and misery. Don't do that to yourself. Be fresh, open and confident so when the call comes you're ready.
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Jessica Walker
28
02/10/21 at 5:46AM UTC
yes! looking for a job can be a full-time job in and of itself. I was recently in this position, and the days/weeks where I felt good about my job hunt weren't the days that I was getting positive feedback. They were the days that I was sticking to a schedule of job hunting, house projects, working out and accomplishing the things I wanted to accomplish. I think this is especially important right now. Not only is the job market tougher than we've seen in a long time, but the overall emotional and mental drain the world has presented makes it that much more important to take care of ourselves. Job hunting can be a marathon when we want it to be a sprint, so take time to take care of yourself (whatever that means for you) while you're looking for your next great adventure.
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Denise Donahue-Perreira
40
02/10/21 at 3:47PM UTC
This is a great reminder and advice in my opinion about breaking up your day with the job search and doing other things in between to take care of yourself. Its important to celebrate goals and accomplishments and to keep pushing forward!
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Riquel
22
02/10/21 at 2:44PM UTC
Thank you for that. I have been finding myself in front of my keyboard most of the day job hunting. More so, after every rejection. I tell myself that I am only going to be here x number of hours, and then the next thing I know it is 5 pm, and it feels that the only thing I accomplished that day was making myself miserable.
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Angelina Moya
13
02/10/21 at 4:09PM UTC
I can definitely relate to that Riquel. I'm trying to get better to sticking to time blocking my day but it's something I need to practice.
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Barb HansenAsk me anything about Startups
3.34k
02/09/21 at 11PM UTC
"Illegitimi non carborundum"
(the mock Latin phrase that means "Don't let the b*st*rds grind you down")
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Robin Hendricks, M.Ed., CECAmbition Enabler
263
02/10/21 at 1:06PM UTC
Lol! That reminds me of The Handmaid's Tale! And I agree :)
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Jennifer A
872
02/09/21 at 11:05PM UTC
I was raised by four parents. Two were in sales, one owned a small business. All of them said - it only takes one yes. I watched them all over the years and I remember when sales were slow (recession time) the two in sales would remind each other that 'it just took one yes'. Because of their experiences and when I got discouraged after being laid off, I kept them in my head. It helps me stay focused because I have never, not once, ever encountered a time when I couldn't get at least one yes ... sometimes it just took a while!
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Robin Hendricks, M.Ed., CECAmbition Enabler
263
02/10/21 at 1:15PM UTC
Someone recently posted the Four Agreements. One is don't take anything personally. This is especially important during a protracted job search. Keep in mind that you have no idea what's happening behind the scenes or what factored in to their decision. These are different times we're living in. It's a numbers game. Move on to the next opportunity--it might be better!
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Jennifer FingerThinking with both sides of my brain!
148
02/10/21 at 1:31PM UTC
The best advice I can give is what I came to realize on my own: do not invest valuable time and energy on interpreting the responses or lack thereof from employers to your job applications and interviews. You may have a wonderful series of interviews, be called back multiple times, be asked to take tests and give references, be told to "expect an offer," and yet never receive one. And that could happen because the employer is being merged or acquired, is downsizing, or any number of reasons that the employer is not legally obligated to share with you. You can also be hired only to lose your job shortly after for any number of reasons, especially if you live in an employment-at-will jurisdiction.
So do your best at each job interview. Be polite and professional. But then go on to the next job application. Each job interview or contact, 99% of the time, will be the last time you hear from the company. Move on without investing emotionally, regardless of how appealing the job or how impressed the interviewers. And even after starting a new job, don't stop your job search until you're sure that you, as the newest hiree, aren't about to become the newest firee.
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MJAccounting consultant
304
02/10/21 at 1:44PM UTC
I've been a runner up in many recent interviews. My email response to the effect of:
It was nice to meet you. Thank you for the update. Congratulations and all the best to your new (job title). Please feel free to share my resume with colleagues, and to consider me for future consulting projects or positions.
Hopefully it will open the door to other opportunities.
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Anonymous
02/11/21 at 11:56AM UTC
Excellent advice. If I received an email like this, I would show it to others and find a way to get you into the organization. Attitude is a huge part of hiring.
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Mich.Fr.Personal assistant with 13+ years experience.
159
02/10/21 at 1:46PM UTC
I have had to tell myself time and time again, it wasn't my job; I cannot control who hires me. Something bigger and better will come along. It's the truth!
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Anonymous
02/10/21 at 1:49PM UTC
Thanks to everyone’s comments! I really needed this support, but it is tough. I made a change by leaving a very toxic job situation I had been in for years...took a contract role and was let go after 3 months...it was not the right fit. It was devastating, but I have done my best to shift, create my own opportunities where I can, but I have been in the market looking for 13 months...I am a great candidate, highly educated, hard working and have had no offers. I keep hearing about other people finding new jobs and one person I know went back to Corporate after 2 years of self employment and found a job after searching for 5 months with a $20k increase. I am trying to not doubt myself, but I am feeling deflated as the days go on...I am fighting depression and self doubt daily! I have moved away from spending hours on my search, but I struggle thinking am I doing enough...why am I not getting the results?
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Anonymous
02/10/21 at 3:37PM UTC
You are not alone. I hear of success stories and "everything happens for a reason" while I am struggling every day. I am happy for others and I try to exercise and focus on the positive but it gets more challenging as the months drag on.
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Erica ElliottBusiness Systems Analyst | Project Manager
15
02/10/21 at 4:30PM UTC
I feel the same after searching for almost 2 years now. I was employed for 17 years with the same company. It's been challenging to remain positive, to not let rejection keep me from pushing forward, and to hope that God's plan is bigger than I can imagine.
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Paula McLeod, Executive Coach
22
02/10/21 at 2PM UTC
I ask my clients to create a list of things they enjoy doing and to do one of those every day. This helps “ refill the well” and also gives them back some control. — Paula McLeod, Executive Coach
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Margaret DePhillipsBuyer wants to return to workforce
29
02/10/21 at 2:34PM UTC
This is such a great idea, thank you.
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Heidi Schmidt
64
02/10/21 at 2:34PM UTC
Thank you for all the good advice. I was rejected by another job I interviewed for. Rejection is redirection!!!
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Matt WarzelResume Writer | Career & Interview Consultant
19
02/10/21 at 6:08PM UTC
As tough as it may be, followup with the recruiter contact and let them know how wonderful it is for them to have found the right person for the job. Let them know that if anything comes down the pipe that match your qualifications, to please keep you in mind. Also, mark your calendar to check in with them once a month. Be polite, it will go a lot further than self-doubt and jealousy.
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Anonymous
02/11/21 at 2:06AM UTC
Thank you for bringing up this topic and for the suggestions. However, I wonder if, realistically speaking, it might not be possible for me to find another job. As a woman over 50 with a graduate degree, after failure at an academic career, and no interviews even after having my resume professionally written and LinkedIn redone, especially in this market it's possible that I might become one of those forced into involuntary retirement. In that case, once my unemployment is exhausted, I will be out of options.
1 Reply
Anonymous
02/11/21 at 12:05PM UTC
I am 57 with an IT degree and have been regularly told by interviewers that I am overqualified. To get my last two jobs I removed my degree from my resume. Now I am seriously considering starting my own business so I can continue to work.
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Sandra Pryor
15
03/05/21 at 4:41AM UTC
I wish these career advice sites would look at those of us who will never find jobs and come up with some kind of advice. It will be over a decade before I can claim the pittance I'll get from Social Security and i am terrified of destitution. The truth is that I'm too stupid to learn IT and have no sales skills.
1 Reply
Anonymous
03/05/21 at 10:54AM UTC
I agree that there needs to be some advice about ageism and ideas for how we can continue to work. Seriously anyone can learn IT. Based on the way you wrote here, you are smart enough to do IT or whatever you want.
I am studying now to get an IT certification that will hopefully help me find a job or start my own business. I am fairly stubborn and I am not going to let other people determine my potential. Please feel free to reach out to me if I can help.
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Katie CopenhaverBusiness Development Manager
16
02/11/21 at 3:43AM UTC
I was unemployed for 6 months due to the pandemic, and searching for a job is a full time job. It took me 3 months into the process to become full out burnt out! Take time for you, and even if it's a mental, emotional and financial burden, realize that you won't be in this situation forever and fine some time for you. That 1 day break a week from consistently scrolling LinkedIn, checking your email for responses, and updating your resume will do wonders to you! Spend extra time, safely, with those that you love and binge on a couple shows. It's ok to take a break to gain the confidence and feel better about yourself to continue the job search.
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Tamara Webb
29
02/12/21 at 3:21PM UTC
I was told once, “There will be the ones, who will give up the race, allowing you, who stays in the race, a chance!”
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