At a Loss

Question

I had to step down from my previous Compliance Manager position.  My health had taken a huge nosedive.  I was struggling as a Mom, Wife, and Manager.  Now that I am seeking meaningful employment again, I find I am at a loss.  I have worn so many hats, had so much responsibility for so little pay, and haven't found a passion yet.  I like work.  I love to feel like what I do matters.  I just don't know what direction to go anymore.  I keep wishing someone would just say, 'This is the perfect job for you!'  All I have looked at so far, I just feel like I come up short on what they want.  It is causing me a lot of confusion on my value these days.

The Career Counter · Answer

Sounds like you have been dealing with some big hurdles with your health and well-being.

As a mom I can totally relate to the struggle!

In terms of your lack of passion, you wrote that you love to feel like what you do matters. That speaks to your passion to want to make a difference! It sounds like you might not yet know exactly where you want to make that difference.

As you are starting to job search and write your resume, think about all the transferable skills you have acquired with all the different 'hat wearing.' You have so much value to add!

In order to find your direction, I usually start by advising clients to think about their last couple jobs. Make a list of things you loved about the work, and things you didn't like so much. For example, maybe you liked your job functions, but you disliked the setting you were working in. This type of evaluation can help you figure out if you need a minor change (like change of work setting) or a major change like changing industries).

A place I always recommend going to start researching career options is O'Net (www.onetonline.org/), which is a career database that offers information like fastest growing jobs, training, and salary info. They also have some free, quick career assessments that can point you in the right direction in terms of matching your interests and skills with potential careers.

Once you have a few career paths of interest in mind, I suggest browsing on LinkedIn and researching profiles of professionals doing work that sounds appealing to you. You can message people directly or get introduced through a mutual connection and do some informational interviewing (asking people about what they do, how they got started, etc.).

By doing self-reflection and research you can begin to chip away at some of the insecurities and confusion you are feeling. The fog will hopefully start to lift and it will become clear what direction you might want to take your career in next.

If you're still feeling stuck, seeking a coach or counselor's help can be beneficial too. Remember, there is no shame in asking for help (and you already asked by reaching out on this forum, so good for you!).

I find that as a mom who wears so many hats, I have had to ask for help and seek support wherever I can find it!

And also it's okay to feel lost. I believe that being lost is what helps propel us to take meaningful action and make important changes!

I hope this information helps!  Good luck to you in your search!!

Ammu Shiri K · Answer

I am not really sure if everyone has a 'perfect job'. Some might and the rest of us just have to deal with whatever job makes us feels good enough without harming our mental and physical health.

If taking a break isn't a big deal for you maybe you should or probably take a simpler job that would give you ample free time to think about the next course of action. This next course could be just analyzing yourself or even doing a certification/course that feels right.

Just remember that it's okay to feel lost... and it would be best if you could ignore the want to have a direction and just accept that its okay to not have a direction in life. I am not saying that things will eventually fall in to place without you doing anything. They wont. But panicking about it isn't helpful.  Just try to look at it with more acceptance and calm. You will definitely figure it out yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

One of the best things to do is write down all of the things you liked about your previous position, and all the things you did not.  This is a great practice in helping you narrow in on what you would like to do in your next career move.

Elizabeth Trimber · Answer

I did a career transition and did a lot of career exploration  through meeting with professional women for a cup of coffee. I heard all about their work and listened to see if it’s something I might be interested in doing. It took about six months of researching positions and these conversations for me to figure out a good fit. It’s ok for it to be an evolving process!

Farah Bajwa · Answer

Look into a book called, 'What color is your parachute'. Very easy read and if you're honest with yourself while doing the exercise, it'll help you figure out what to pivot towards.

Miranda Wilcox · Answer

It's okay to not know. Consider where you are now as part of the journey and give yourself permission to find your next best job even if it isn't your 'dream job'. At worst it will help inform you about what you do and don't want, enabling you to get closer to your ideal.

Jonica Eveland · Answer

First just to say that I don't know all that the job of a compliance manager entails and if it is industry specific. I am a HR professional and can take my profession across industries. I am in an active search and don't want to change careers, but I have options of what to do within HR. One of the options that I have is the industry.  I also like to find purpose/meaning and decided to focus on places that do what I consider good work.  I also work with a career coach. I have one that is quite affordable at $50/month unlimited sessions.  Feel free to reach out to me if you want more information. Best of luck to you.

Kelli · Answer

It's so hard to be in a spot like this. I feel for you, but just know better days are coming. You can absolutely find your passion/purpose...it just takes a bit of digging. Now is the perfect time for some self-discovery before you start applying for jobs that will put you back in the same spot. Feel free to reach out to me via DM or at kelli@mindsetmamas.com if you need more advice. I'm a mindset and career coach.

Sharon DeCaro · Answer

I know I can get really overwhelmed trying to deal with big problems in my life. Is there a place where you can maybe start small? It could be an activity you love doing with your kids or a volunteer opportunity that looks interesting.

For me, it took finding a training course that really excited me to start to navigate what my 'purpose' and 'dream job' could be. Once I took that first opportunity, subsequent ones started to open up.

Also, remember that you are doing great! You are on your journey, which is a worthy place to be.

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