To move or not to move

Question

My best friend lives in Florida. She said it was the best decision she ever made. I currently live in PA. I don’t have children, I am single, and only 30 years old. I feel like if there’s ever a good time to move, it’s now. I don’t know why I can’t get myself to do it. She offered a place for me to stay while I search for employment. It sounds like a great deal, but I’m scared and I don’t know why. Well maybe I do. I was a foster child from age 3/4-21 years. I’ve been all over, home to home, facility to facility. Never had a place to fully call home until I graduated college and had no choice but to find an apartment. An apartment that  still am living in 7 years later. I feel like I have finally made routes, but have I really? Yes I have friends, and my siblings (which were really not that close anyways) but that’s it. Asking for some advice!!! She did it as a single mom with a 5 year old, and I can’t even think about it without doubt.

Sarah Martin · Answer

Your doubt is totally normal! Almost every human feels some sense of doubt when facing a major life change, and it sound like this is magnified based on your personal experience. We have a natural instinct to stick with the familiar because it seems 'safe'. 
This sounds like a great opportunity for you to take a calculated risk, because you have a place to stay and a great friend to lean on as soon as you arrive. It is always easier for us to make decisions when we are forced to, like when you had to find your apartment 7 years ago, but I think that if this year has shown us anything its that nothing is secure or certain. 
I think you should take the chance and go because you don't know how great the next chapter can be without taking the leap. Although life seems easier when it is happening to us, it is far better to look back and say I made that choice and look how great it turned out!

Annabel Koh · Answer

MOVE! 2 years ago, I faced the same fears and uncertainty but ultimately, I  took a leap of faith to move from Singapore to New York and it is the best decision I've ever made! (I was 29, single too)

It's definitely a scary decision to leave behind the friends, family, my comfort zone but I asked myself... 5 yrs down the road, would I rather say ' I've tried and this was my experience' OR ' I wonder what it could have been if I moved..?'

The thing is.. you'd never know if you like it or not until you try. And if you really don't like it, know that the option to move back is still going to be there - but at least you've tried!

It's also great that you already have a friend there! It'll be such an adventure building a new community together and experiencing this transition together! It might not be easy, but it will sure be an adventure!

All the best! I do hope you move!

P.S: In that 2 years, I also got to meet and marry the man of my dreams! :D You never know what's in store for you..

Heather Scofield · Answer

It's a good time in your life to make a big change. But Florida isn't an easy place to relocate to, so make sure you're PREPARED for that.

Not sure what the percentage is, but a large portion of northern transplants return home within the first 2 years. It's hard to land a job as a newcomer. Employers are wary to hire new relocations, because of the aforementioned issue of newcomers that don't make it. The job market can be a bit unstable because the economy here relies too heavily on vacationers, service sectors and construction.   And be aware that the rental market is extremely TIGHT. It's hard to get a good place. Competition is steep, and prices may be higher than you think. (Zillow and other sites are full of bogus rental listings that make rentals look cheap and abundant. But those are off-market properties or SCAMS designed to trick newcomers and steal their cash.)

All that said... I ADORE FLORIDA.  And it was worth every moment of hardship I endured to make my relocation from the Midwest 20+ years ago stick.

Lisa Welker-Finney · Answer

What if you did it in stages?  Take a few weeks of vacation and go there, look for a job, maybe even set up interviews before you travel.  Then while there decide.  Try before you buy approach.  Change during this time is hard, so be easy with yourself.

Christine Ponkratz Salmon · Answer

I am in the process of packing my life to move from Wisconsin to Florida. The primary driving force is to be closer to my aging parents, and that's a huge motivator, and I'm not risk-aversive... but I'm still nervous as can be about it all!  I know one thing for sure: 6 months from now, instead of cursing the cold weather and the 4 layers of clothes I will be enjoying a walk on the beach. I don't have a job (except for the remote work that is moving with me), I don't even have a place to live, yet. But there is no time like the present to give yourself the gift of positive change. I wish you luck with your decision (and a successful move, if that's your choice).

Anonymous · Answer

Move! I moved post 21 years of employment which I let go because of reorganization in Michigan and moved to Texas with my two cats just before my unemployment benefits ran out. 
The move and the adjustment has made me stronger and more confident!
I rented my house in Michigan for 5 years while I bought one in Texas. 
You got this!!

Elizabeth · Answer

You all are so amazing with your encouragement and advise! I appreciate everything you all said and will definitely take it into account when weighing out the options. It’s such a great feeling having other great women such as yourselves giving meaningful advise and disclosing personal experiences. I feel much at ease knowing that it has been done before and it could be the greatest decision I ever will make! Thank you, my fellow bosses ?

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