How could I have done this?

Question

I’m a long-time employee with an impeccable career who, in the heat of the moment, made a big mistake. My manager made a decision I didn’t agree with, and I picked it apart, thinking I knew better than they did. I even combatted the change he’d proposed–by finding other colleagues to complain and by challenging my boss himself in group meetings. In retrospect, I wasn’t helping, I was hurting the situation.  I was the obstacle for others to navigate around, not him. A week later, I was fired. And rightfully so. My self-esteem and ego got ahead of me. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking -- I’ve just been really off lately. We all make mistakes and hope that by sharing this will help me at least own up to how I can make a change for the better. Thoughts? Have you ever been let go?

MYOWNBOSS · Answer

I had a similar situation this week at work, though I was not fired. However, I was told I was creating tension that was putting my job in jeopardy. It was humiliating and I still don’t agree with the decision that was made. I had to swallow my pride and say, I will support whatever decision is made and my intention was not to create tension, rather I wanted to be heard. All that said, I’m not sure the organization is the right place for me any longer but I will have to sort that out on my own. I did see a Brene Brown quote this week that I plan to repeat to myself when I find myself in a similar situation. 
“I’m not here to be right.
I’m not here to be right.
I’m not here to be right.
I’m here to get it right.”

Julianne Smith Pattison · Answer

So sorry you were fired.  It's happened to me twice for the same reason, but I challenged my boss one-to-one outside of the meetings.  She fired me anyway.  I always ask, what would I advise my daughter to do?  I don't regret either incidence.  It was a matter of integrity and pointing out inaccurate reporting.  I thought I was doing both bosses a favor.  In fact, they knew they were reporting numbers inaccurately and didn't want me in the way of their efforts.  In hindsight, it was better for me to no longer be associated with them and my reputation in my field subsequently landed me better jobs.

Anonymous for a day · Answer

I can so relate. I was recently let go for making one big mistake that wasn't entirely my fault. It happened in the midst of everything being shut down due to COVID and I thought I had plenty of time to meet my deadline, but a software glitch caused me to miss it. In retrospect, I should have submitted the document earlier. Things were crazy and I let the stress of COVID get to me. I choked.  Up to that point had been considered a valuable employee and I'm still surprised it only took one mistake to end my employment with the company. What's helped me is focusing on moving forward and trying not to dwell. I know what I did wrong and have vowed to be more prepared next time and if I get stressed, take a moment to diffuse that stress so I can act more calmly.

Anonymous · Answer

By owning up to your mistake, you can move on and put it behind you. That is a huge step right there. But why do you feel off? That is something I hear often, especially from my friends in their 40's starting to go through the change. Sometimes we are not the masters of our own minds and it is not our fault. Your firing could have been preventable.

Find out what this 'feeling off' really is and move on to a happier life.

Brenda Pawloski · Answer

It’s too bad your boss couldn’t have given you the space to be “off” about that one issue and retain you after discipline and warning. Humans who have proven their value should be allowed an occasional mistake.

Jackie Ghedine · Answer

Personal growth is all about becoming aware of the mistakes we make (we all have them) along the way in our career and in our lives.  Taking away the meaning from a tough situation will help you grow.  Negativity is contagious and can spread like a wildfire which you learned.  There's another lesson here too,  you obviously have a leadership quality that gets people to follow your thoughts and beliefs (even if they were misguided) so think about how you can use that to your benefit and the benefit of an organization moving forward.

I'm sorry you had to go through all of this but this is such wonderful and vulnerable story to share, thank you for that!

Anonymous · Answer

I'm so sorry you were let go! Thank you for sharing your journey with this community. You have helped me put my own 'meltdown' last year in perspective. I did not lose my job but was  mortified with my own behavior for months.

I agree with the commenters applauding your self-awareness. I also agree that knowing you were 'off' was a red flag. Sometimes things build for months or years under the surface and one day just get triggered. Now you know what to watch for in your next job.

My take away has been that I need to speak up for myself sooner and that I need to step back and take things much less personally.

Best of luck in your job search. I'm sure you will establish an impeccable reputation there as well.

LORI-ANN BURLINGAME · Answer

I applaud you for your self-awareness and for owning what happened. However, what kind of relationship did you have with your supervisor prior to this?

Lisa A Huntley · Answer

I am constantly the voice of opposition (I work in government!). Sadly, some days I just have to remind myself that the goal is the paycheck.

Silver Sage · Answer

Life is a progressive series of lessons. It sounds like you learned quite a bit from this experience... Kudos to you! Growth is not a painless experience. Not only have you gained some valuable lessons and insights on life and ego, but you've just expanded your future potential. Wishing you all the best!

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