I did something on Tuesday that I haven't done in a while. I forgot to turn my work brain off and I hurt my close friends feelings.
My good friend, I'll call him Dave, was lamenting how he's sleeping with too many women thinking the positive affirmation will get him out of his depression.
Dave was going on and on about how he is talking to a half a dozen women (some with the same name to add to his confusion) and he couldn't figure out why he wasn't feeling better.
I want to preface this by saying I am guilty of being a Type-A fixer. My friends call me "Mom" because I am always prepared, know all the details and if I don't, I know who to go to and will get back to you in a timely manner.
As I was scrolling through my work email, I told him
(A) Sleeping with a ton of women is not going to fix you
(B) Therapy or finding some spiritual solution would be beneficial
(C) Nothing in your situation will change if you don't make a change
(D) When was the last time you got an STD screening?
He looked at me and said, "I think you believe I am the worst human on this planet" and walked away.
Dave told my partner later that he was upset with me for what I said.
This is where I had my realization. In my work as a career consultant, I am always diving deep, understanding motivations, uncovering truths and, most importantly, asking questions.
I hadn't asked him, "Are you looking for advice? Or are you looking to vent?"
If I had asked these questions, I would have avoided hurting his feelings and causing tension.
Thankfully, the our tension has been resolved, but it was a valuable lesson. When I am done with work, I need to take 5 minutes and do something to shut my work brain off. Whether that is meditating, reading, doing the dishes or taking a shower, I need to do an activity or action that removes me from work mode so I can better show up for the ones that I love and care about.
What are your tips for turning work mode off?