Stand on my own | Fairygodboss

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Anonymous

12/28/20 at 6:26PM UTC

Career

Stand on my own

I'm in a new role where the previous employee who held this role is still involved in non-work conversations, including occasionally giving advice to the CEO. (This comes more in the form of questions from the CEO that the former employee answers...) This is a small business (very small) and I don't have all the history on things and people, but I'm trying to learn and grow. Things that seem straightforward (to me) aren't quite so, as it seems there's a back story to any project or question or business connection. I'm glad the previous employee is still highly regarded on the team, but I'd also love the clean break to stand on my own. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this? How did you handle it?

9 Comments

Anonymous

12/28/20 at 6:52PM UTC

Find comfort knowing that in a transition legacy information and perspective from those uniquely involved is helpful for things to move forward smoothly. You will earn your own role as things progress and the former employee's support is not as central to the day-to-day operations and becomes more supportive in nature. Take this time to learn your job and listen to the back stories for context. These stories are woven into the culture of a small, tightly knit group. The more you know, the faster you fit in.

1 Reply

Anonymous

12/30/20 at 4:20AM UTC

I appreciate your perspective. I hadn't thought about it in this way before.

Jen Slagle

247

Career Coach

12/29/20 at 6:46PM UTC

Be intentional in how you speak and act. Set a standard for yourself and write it down. Determine ways you can hold yourself accountable for how you show up and act. At the end of the day, you only can control you. Step into that space and be confident in how you want to be seen and heard. Positive energy will flow from their!

1 Reply

Anonymous

12/30/20 at 4:19AM UTC

Thank you for your advice. I find myself trying to fit in with the water-cooler talk. It's not easy working from home, in a new job, when you're more of a people person who thrives on collaboration!

Anonymous

12/29/20 at 7:52PM UTC

I think it’s understandable you’re feeling this way. Just remember the first few months of a new job always feel like you’re floundering and getting the hang of things. Over time you will become the new expert and they will learn to rely on you more.

1 Reply

Anonymous

12/30/20 at 4:18AM UTC

That's how I've felt on many days. Thank you for responding.

Anonymous

12/30/20 at 4:05AM UTC

This is a situation that must be managed with finesse. We are going to assume that the employee who held your position has no bad intent but (from having been in a very similar situation) what you must guard against is allowing back stories and acceptance of them to compromise decision making that then impacts your ability to do your best work. My former situation is not directly translatable but it might help. I took the position as ED of a small arts organization. One board member had been there for far too long. When I presented issues that were challenges, this individual always had an explanation. So if I mentioned something was a problem and this person made the comment that it had 'always been like that' then the rest of the board accepted the situation rather than exploring ways it could be improved. This did not threaten me in the least but it was a challenge. Don't ever badmouth this person, listen to the back stories but question where appropriate, always be able to defend your (differing) position with solid data/evidence, and be strategically diplomatic in your communications.

1 Reply

Anonymous

12/30/20 at 4:17AM UTC

Thank you for your wisdom and for sharing your experience. You hit the nail on the head with my fear in all of this. And there's no ill intent with the former employee. I get concerned about the business owner not making the mental change of "she's got this." I must admit, I have some confidence issues surrounding this that I must work on.

User edited comment on 12/30/20 at 4:23AM UTC

Gargi Biswas

Award Winning Business Leader(Digital Solutions)

12/30/20 at 4:52AM UTC

Fact is no one gives free advices. There should be a reason why the previous employee still shares suggestions with your employer. I believe, you need to make it clear that the faster you are able to perform things independently, the better it would be for the organization. Put the ball in the previous employee's court- I mean he/she definitely would have better things to focus on considering he/she has left the organization, mention the same to the previous employee, also mention that you would reach out for help if there is a need. Unless you explicitly say that you are independent and can handle things, people will continue to poke their nose in things that they shouldn't be.