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Need suggestions with dealing with micromanager
I have a manager who is very much a micromanager. Does not allow her staff the opportunity to grow or advance, which has become very obviously as of late.
Our company recently merged with another. We are in the early stages of combining our two departments and migrating our software to a new system. Several of us have experience with this type of work. Some even have experience with the software we will be transitioning to. We have expressed our eagerness to be involved with the migration, but to no avail. Our manager always has excuses for us to not be involved.
Does anyone have suggestions on how to approach the Project Lead without stepping on the toes of our current manager?
Thanks!
Erin Beemer
Product Developer | Change Maker | Growth Minded
513
05/13/20 at 10:47AM UTC
I had a boss like this for many years. In the end, I think it has to do more with a lack of confidence in themselves than it has to do with you personally. By being overly picky, pointing out issues, etc. they feel that they are still contributing or in control. In reality, I think they undermine the success of a team because there is no trust built up with the team.
In this case, you have to be aware that there may be a lot going on behind the scenes and it's possible that your boss is being instructed to handle the situation in a certain way. Have you actually talked to her about it? As I mentioned above, I had a boss like this for many years and surprisingly no one else on my team would just speak candidly to him. There is a lot of good advice in this thread, but before you start documenting skills and looking for another job I would recommend a simple conversation about how you're feeling, how you could support and see if you can make some progress that way.
I really feel for you, especially in retrospect. I hope you have success finding your way through!
Laney BalisREALTOR® @ Align Right Realty Riverview
347
05/08/20 at 8:37PM UTC
I have been in that situation, it is not an easy one. Handling a micromanaging manager is difficult and can be very frustrating when you have information you know can benefit your team and company. There are varying opinions on how to handle the situation but you should always do what you feel is right. If you haven't already done this, I would suggest scheduling some time with your manager privately to discuss your desire to be involved with the project. Asking her in front of your team puts her on the spot and can be an uncomfortable position for her. If you already have and the answer is still the same you have a few options - take her at her word knowing they have what they need and move on with your daily responsibilities. This one I DO NOT suggest but it is an option - talk to the Project Lead about your desire to help. Understand this will put you in a difficult position with your manager if you chose this option. She can view it as going over her head to get what you want and could possibly make life difficult. Another option is leaving it be, going about your daily routine and look for a position in another company better suited to you and what you would like to do next. None of these options are easy or simple. I wish you the best of luck no matter what path you decide to take.
Peg Bittnerretired auditor now into volunteering
620
05/05/20 at 2:04AM UTC
I wish I had good advice for you, for I am a victim of micromanagement myself. My case is a little different from yours. I can tell it is hard when you know something that management does not and they are not willing to admit it nor welcome the new source of information that is very much a benefit for everyone. Sometimes it is just best to go along with the program and let them learn on their own. I found out the very hard way it was easier and safer to do that than try to defuse the micromanager. Good Luck on all fronts.
LEANNE TOBIASInvestment real estate/sustainability
4.05k
05/05/20 at 1:41AM UTC
I can think of a very big reason that your manager is keeping you under wraps: she’s possibly fearing that she’ll be downsized in favor of retaining technically capable lower-level staff.
What your boss likely wants to know at this juncture is that you’ve got her back and won’t undercut her.
For a first step, I suggest that you try to make yourself invaluable to your boss in helping her manage her portion of the migration. For the time being, hold off on cc’ing other managers or HR about your ideas and concentrate on helping your boss shine.
As well, let your boss do the public role vis a vis other departments and make sure everything is running smoothly in the background. This approach has 2 benefits: 1)it helps your boss to trust you and 2)it establishes you as a team player. If you approach HR and other managers too early, you instead might look like a snake.
If, after 2-3 months and despite your best efforts at support, your boss won’t let you participate in the migration, you can proceed to Flossy’s suggestions to let other managers and HR know of your skills and interest.
In addition, I agree with Flossy’s advice to update your resume and LinkedIn and start networking.
Fifilarue
60
05/04/20 at 10:32PM UTC
You say your boss has “excuses” for why you shouldn’t be involved. What are they? Why do you use the word “excuse” rather than “reason”?
Do you know who is doing the work? Does your boss have authority in that area? Can you make a case for why you’re better qualified to do the work than the allocated team?
Are you aware of the research that women bosses are viewed much more negatively than male bosses when they give negative feedback? This is particularly from women staffers. Your boss is probably suffering from the effects of unconscious bias from those above and below her. It’s one of the effects of the double bind and it means that many women managers off-ramp their careers before they get to senior levels. Bosses are bosses; they are not supposed to be your friend. Ask yourself genuinely if you would think/feel the same if your boss were a man? Do a test at projectimplicit.com to get an idea of how this works.
I don’t want to justify bad behaviour but women bosses are judged by harsher standards and this same hard standards will be applied to us as we get older and progress. If we young women take out our senior women before they break through who will pave the way for us?
Marissa TafferHow can I help you grow?
363
05/04/20 at 7:24PM UTC
When dealing with a micromanager, in my experience the best way to handle it is beat them at their own game. When you have a task ask them about what they expect to see at every stage of the game. For example if you are putting together collateral, ask them which pocket of the folder each piece should go in and in what order... I had a boss who actually cared about stuff like this. So I made her spell out every tiny detail. If they push back tell them "In the past you've given me feedback that I haven't done things the way you expect. This way I am making sure to clarify expectations in advance so I meet your expectations for this work." Hopefully your boss will get so annoyed they will empower you to make your own decisions!
LEANNE TOBIASInvestment real estate/sustainability
4.05k
05/05/20 at 1:20AM UTC
I agree that this approach can be very effective. The more you seek guidance, the more the micromanager feels secure in your loyalty and detail orientation.
Flossy Client Solutions Consultant
1.98k
05/08/20 at 6:52PM UTC (Edited)
There are a couple of things at play. The merger could have job cuts coming that she is aware of.. protect yourself. I would have a three prong strategy.
1). Put together a document outlining your specific experience as it relates to this software transition. Be factual and point out areas you can be an asset. Frame the email to her with words like you are following up on the discussion regarding to merger and move to XYZ software. Now here is the tricky part. Whether CC other leaders involved in the migration and merger or forward the message to them afterwards with an explanation you thought they should be aware of your interest in being a part of the success of the NewCo.. Potentially cc your HR Business partner or speak to them prior about your eagerness and experience to be part of the migration team. Ask for their input on the situation if they have an interest in development. Remember some HR departments are only lawsuit prevention. Choose accordingly.
2). Put together your resume. Update your LI profile. Turn on the indicator you are seeking other roles to recruiters and Takent Acquisition professionals. Be proactive about networking. If someone asks why? We are going thru a merger and there are signs my department may be at risk.
3) If this behavior is new for your manager, ask for a meeting on why the change. Try to show concern for the manager. So much is swirling around right now. Make sure it is what you think it is and not another issue altogether.
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