© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
Men getting credit for my work
On two occasions now, male colleagues have been given credit for work I do.
I'm a project coordinator and run many meetings. I do the legwork with making sure items we need to talk about get handled and put together a lot of the reference materials in confluence.
In both instances, I was running two meeting for months and the very people I work with asked "who's running this meeting, *insert male colleague name*?"
It was so insulting and I felt like my work was being undermined.
My male colleagues are the first thought even though the items we go through have my name on them and it's obviously me speaking throughout the meetings. History shows men getting credit for women's accomplishments and I guess I'm just experiencing it since prior jobs had me working alone. If it happens again, I want to mention it but I want to know the best way to go about doing it.
Any advice?
Katie Kristl
Customer Support & Success Professional, Denver
137
08/14/20 at 2:12PM UTC
I agree that this sounds like you're experiencing sexism in the workplace - which probably speaks to the culture of the company itself, and is likely not a good long term fit.
It might be time to explore other options, but in the interim I agree with Ivy J., keep calling attention to your role and your responsibilities.
Give credit to the team and thank them for helping *you* accomplish the larger goal of the project.
Sexism takes time to combat and it can get frustrating. Don't lose faith!
Sarah GreggEngineer & Chief Breakthrough Officer
20
08/14/20 at 1:41PM UTC
I’ve had this happen to me more times than I can remember over the course of my career working for others. The implicit bias that they’re not even aware of is infuriating.
The only time I was able to “get over the hump” was when male advocates spoke up for me. For instance, when the question was asked about the meeting and the wrong person was said, someone else would so “Actually Sarah is running the meeting”. This was a unique person that had the emotional intelligence to try to fix what was wrong.
If there is someone like that in the room that you think you could trust, I’d reach out to them for help,
Anonymous
08/14/20 at 2:06PM UTC
Unfortunately I'm a subcontractor working for a contractor and feel like I have to rely on myself for this. I'm also a brown woman although there is an East Asian woman on my team but I've gotten unprofessional comments from her with regards to my figure so I have to handle this alone but hey, that's the story if my life.
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85
08/14/20 at 2:51PM UTC
The fact that you are a brown woman adds a whole new layer to this problem. You're not just fighting sexism in trying to be perceived as the leader of the meeting, you're fighting racism, too. Being a middle-aged white lady, I have no advice for you on that one. I know enough to realize that if you're too accommodating, people won't see you as the leader, and if you're too assertive, people will see you as "pushy." You're stuck in a game that's very hard to win, but I hope you find a way to come out on top.
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85
08/14/20 at 1:24PM UTC
Part of it may be your title. If you are a project "coordinator" that often means someone who is assisting someone higher in the chain. Also there is a difference between doing legwork ahead of a meeting (a lot of thankless, invisible work) and running a meeting (very visible work). If you are running the meeting, perhaps it would help to actually state that, either orally or in writing. You could begin the meetings by stating, "Hi everyone, I am project coordinator Jane Smith and I will be leading the meeting." Or if you distribute a printed agenda for the meeting, type somewhere near the top of it: "Meeting leader: Project Coordinator Jane Smith." Take credit for your work in a direct, overt way.
Anonymous
08/14/20 at 2:08PM UTC (Edited)
It sounds like your making excuses for blatant sexism. There is no "if I'm running the meeting", I told you that's what I'm doing, didn't I? I am literally at the helm of these meetings. They have no reason to name my male colleagues, two who have never talked during said meetings. When something needs to be discussed in the meeting, they send information to me. But when it's time to give credit, they inexplicably call out my male colleagues.
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85
08/14/20 at 2:41PM UTC
I promise I was not trying to make excuses for blatant sexism, only trying to give your co-workers the benefit of the doubt about why they would not be perceiving you as the person in charge of the meeting. Some of the work you have described (pre-meeting legwork) and your job title (coordinator) made me wonder if you are the assistant to a higher-up person. If that person is getting credit for the work you are doing, that is exceedingly common in every field, not just tech. One way to combat it is to overtly TAKE credit so there is no question about who is in charge of what.
If you are running meetings and people are questioning who is running the meeting, there is definitely something wrong there. People are perceiving you as a helper to your male colleagues instead of as the person in charge. That could be because of sexism, in which case you probably have to confront it head-on ("No, Kevin is not running this meeting, I am. What made you think Kevin was running this meeting?")
Or it could be something more personal, like if you have a mild-mannered, polite way about you, people may be assuming you couldn't possibly be the person in charge because you lack a stereotypical "leader" personality (forceful, commanding, direct). If that's the case, then displaying more assertiveness may help you be perceived as the person in charge without having to tell people "I'm in charge!"
Katie KristlCustomer Support & Success Professional, Denver
137
08/14/20 at 2:18PM UTC
I disagree that Ivy is making excuses. Based on the limited information in your post, she is offering some suggestions.
To that - I actually experienced what she's talking about with my title + people not understanding what my role/responsibilities were.
I actually brought it up at a manager's meeting and we really dug into the issue. Once we realized it was because of the title, a lightbulb went off and we were able to change my title to one more reflective of my responsibilities.
From what you've described, though, there's a more systemic problem happening, so you're not going to be able to just flip a switch. Keep moving forward and making iterative improvements and changes to the sexism that exists in the culture around you.
That's not making excuses, that's finding a way to make effective, long-term change.
Dena B.
151
08/14/20 at 2:18PM UTC
If this is the way you respond to those trying to assist you, then maybe they'd just like someone else to be in charge.,,,
Look at the suggestions she makes, They aren't bad ones. Be overt and direct, and never follow it with, "I told you I was in charge, didn't I?" That will send everyone looking for another person to deal with.
Making excuses for blatant sexism? Maybe. But she also gave you some ways to deal with it that you just seem to ignore because you couldn't get past the beginning of her post, Look inward.
Anonymous
09/14/21 at 6:34PM UTC
I dont respond well to enabling. That's exactly why sexist people stay in power and why it's still a major issue across the board. People like you invalidate sexual assault victims, woman of color like myself speaking out and more. You're part of them problem. You said "maybe" so clearly you dont take my post seriously in the first place. You'll be happy to know that my sexist racist boss was defend by the same company. People like you are the worst. The only one who needs to look inward is you
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