Years of biases have taken their tolls on my mental health
I am a Black woman working in tech for the last 6+ years, as a Business Development Manager, and based in the UK. This year, I managed to close the biggest deal (8 figures) of the 16+ years old company, amid the global crisis.
Although I remarkably performed and publicly recognised for the work done, the management did not transcribe in any official manners ( e.g. promotion - I had to ask for one without success, RSUs, merits and I had to ask for a salary increase).
Working from home for a company headquartered in the Western USA had made me work longer hours, coupled with my different initiatives in Diversity and Inclusion.
I have worked in the company for a long time and still subject to various unconscious (or conscious) biases, racism and all. My FLM has recently been fired as his behaviour was not tolerable towards many members of the team, including me.
I have reached a deep point of severe depression and anxiety, as I have to battle daily, and this has affected my focus and the quality of my work. I am using the EAP support provided by the company, but it is not enough. I had to take a couple of days off sick this week.
Because I am never off sick, I have been contacted by our HRBP for a catch-up next week ( w/c November 9th).
My post here is to ask about the best way to communicate although one of the sources of bullying has been removed, there is still a lot of work to be done for me to feel appreciated. I am an expert in my field and consult for various internal business units in addition to my usual work.
The added volume of work is no recognition or compensation.
I, indeed, don't want to seem that I am whining again, but I have to pass the message across.
The thought of leaving crossed my mind, however, the work that I do, have a massive social impact which is close to my heart, and also, I wonder if the grass is greener outside for a Black woman.
Getting promoted will give me more power (internally and externally) to continue the work, but I fear that would only aggravate the behaviours towards me.
I am at a point where I have to think hard about my next step and consider whether I will fulfil my purpose within that company, regardless of the tribulations and the effect on my health.