I wasted SO much money doing frivolous things (and I’m a millennial)

Question

It’s a hard time for a lot of us right now –– and given that I’m still lucky enough to even have a job, I’ve taken this seriously to really reflect. I don’t save enough. I don’t have a financial plan. I only save a very small percentage of retirement. And I definitely missed my chance for a raise this year. But I guess admitting it this is a step in the right direction? How are you financially during this time? Are you proud or regretting some of the money-saving initiatives you made? Would love to hear more POVs!

Aly Brine · Answer

This may not be a popular opinion because it's very different from our mainstream culture on spending money being evil and wasteful but just presenting another point of view.

Amanda Frances calls herself The Money Queen and she teaches on money as an energy. The title of your post made me think of her YouTube video where she teaches that it's impossible to waste money because it's not a finite resource. Also, how you have to consider why and how you're spending the money emotionally. An example she uses is student loans (obviously mainstream denotes them as bad) but she changes the energetic narrative around them to say that going into debt is just a decision to pay something off in the future. Sometimes it's necessary and beneficial to go into debt in order to move yourself forward.

She has a number of YouTube videos but here is the one on how it's impossible to waste money. 
https://youtu.be/GC0PJa0bugA

Enjoy!

Aleks Shamles · Answer

During the pandemic, almost everyone was wasting money on frivolous things, so don't worry about that. Well, some of them decided to start profiting remotely at the same time to have money to spend, and in my case, it was trading. I became a trader with https://bitcodeai.net/ , and I can tell you that it turned out to be even more profitable than I thought, so I keep trading because it's a great source of income.

Tierra Ledet · Answer

You'll be okay. I'm a millennial as well with a lot of student loan debt ($175K) and recently started my own company, which is still building to make revenue. The job I most recently quit, forced me to save for retirement by taking out 7.7% of my biweekly salary which left me living from paycheck to paycheck. I have three other retirement accounts which include two that are from Acorns and have a nice sum since I started in college. I still have support from my parents and have a steady side hustle. In terms of saving, it got off track due to the above factors even though I've always had set savings plans and budgets.  When I had a better job (income wise) right after grad school and had an excess of money, I saved better. I don't contribute the max to my retirement accounts because my priority currently  is paying down as much of my student loans as possible before I turn 30 and plan to catch up on retirement on the back end.

My advice is to find what works for you. You will find that adjustments will be made with budgeting depending on where you are and what you prioritize in your life. There are somethings that I spend more money on because I chose not to do them myself (like my hair) due to time constraints and others not so much. Because of the nature of my job (that I just left), that really cut into my shopping habits because I wore scrubs, so it didn't make sense to continue buying regular clothes and shoes that I could only wear on the weekends. This helped me learn to stop spending frivolously so much. Another rule I learned, is when buying something to ask yourself, can I make 3 separate outfits from this? If not, don't buy it. So try to find trends within your life pattern and find things to cut out. Lastly, one thing that helped me was automated savings (i.e. automatic transfers from checking to savings at your bank, apps like Albert which is usually free for one year, Acorns for retirement which is free and you can earn a certain amount of funds while shopping if they support, selecting which budget structure works for you (50 for expenses, 20 for savings, 30 for you/entertainment), and pick a savings plan with a specified goal which are all over pinterest (i.e. save $5K in a year).

Brigit Elizondo · Answer

It will be ok. Just know there are many people in the same circumstances but you took advantage of it and now want to get better with finances. Congrats! My advice is, First thing I did before even starting  a budget was to print out what I spent in the last 90 days. Its not to feel bad but to actually see how you spent your money. Then think about the times you spent money on “things you wanted” and remember how you felt. Had you had a bad day? Were you thinking of someone else when you bought it?  I realized that my less than desirable spending- that there was a cause behind it.  I shopped whether a grocery store or department store....to feel better. How did i know?  because sometimes I didnt even use it. 
I realize not everyone is like me, but I did have to dig deeper in myself.  Was it a want or need I was trying to fill?  at least in me. Sometimes I did it to keep up with others or even to show off. Why did I feel that way?
But I learned that you can change. It is hard, its discipline. Its not easy . But with the changes I made, I dont dread the mail, I dont cringe or get a pit in my stomach when I get an unexpected bill,  I know I can deal with it. once you are in control, it feels so good. 
You can do it. I know you can. And if you ever have doubts or questions, you can come here and know you have support.

Anne Knox · Answer

Start with small steps so you can accomplish them.  You will get a sense of accomplishment.  You can refocus your mind.  You can replace the high of buying with the high of saving.

Sarah Hong · Answer

I went through a similar phase in my twenties and when I realized I had to change, I started off with creating a budget income vs. expenses and determine what my monthly income should be spent on: necessities, like rent, utilities, transportation, and groceries, and debt (if applicable).  Then I'd identify any subscriptions and see if they're really necessary. Having HBO, YouTube TV, Netflix and Hulu at the same time was probably unnecessary.  Then I analyzed my spending habits on non-necessities. Simple things like eating out and going to a club and getting wasted off a $200 tab can be easily . Also, I realized that I didn't need to buy anything from Madewell every single time they had a sale. I took inventory of all my clothes and assessed that I have everything I need. I would add up those potential unnecessary expenses and the total amount is what is put towards savings and allow a small fraction of it for 'fun money' (if there was any left for it). Try to see if there are free activities (movies in the park, hiking, etc.) and have your support system keep you accountable. Be mentally prepared to be self-disciplined and cut habits because for some (like me) squandering can feel like an addiction. However, in a few months when you see your savings go up a digit, it will be all worth it.

Laura McCann · Answer

Don't beat yourself up!  You can always change, that's the beauty of life!  CleverGirl Finance on IG is offering her finance courses for free during the COVID time.  She is some great hints for folks who want to get started on their financial plans.  Check her out!

NAJA-MICHELLE INNIS · Answer

I'm absolutely in the same boar as you, as well. I've always been really bad with money. I spent so much on fun stuff, and rarely set aside a financial cushion for myself. 
I think a lot of us (millennials and older Gen Z) are recognizing that saving and working towards financial independence is something to consider. AND we definitely need to focus more on jobs that are willing to give us benefits so that we don't end up floundering on our own when something like this happens again.
I have a 401K that I started when I was 23. It's never too early to get one set up!

Anonymous · Answer

I can relate! I am in the same boat as you, I also have a ton of debt from student loans, credit cards, etc,  but  being out of work has drastically changed my thinking and my behavior moving forward. This is truly a time of reflection as we shift into another version of what life is like compared to before.

Personally, I do not believe in regrets as they are learning opportunities, but I can look back to see what I can do differently now.

I know that once I am back on my feet I will need to connect with a financial advisor to help assist with my money moving forward.

It is a new reality for myself as I experience so many different emotions, and adjustments to my behavior, but I also know that my past does not necessarily predict my future.

Know that I am right there with you!! Trust me, I understand what you are feeling and going through, so know that you are not the only one out there!

We will get through this, just like we are learning to get through this pandemic.

Lady Pele · Answer

My company began offering 401k when I was in my twenties.  I started out with just enough to get the matching.  I raised it a few percent every year until I was finally at the max in my thirties.  Hubby did the same.  We began tracking our finances and created a budget in our late twenties.  We paid off credit cards every month or simply didn't buy whatever we couldn't afford.  Our only bills were the mortgage and cars.  Even though we felt comfortable, we attended a basic money management class offered through our church and picked up more ideas.  We began seeing a financial advisor (a fiduciary) in our late thirties and have been planning for retirement since then.

We never even consider the long-term savings as available for spending.  It's not the path everyone can follow, but it's worked well for us.

I wasted SO much money doing frivolous things (and I’m a millennial)

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