My significant other had been supporting me and he is more than fine with that. I feel worthless though. I'm bright, a great writer, and I'm attractive. I'm capable of making my own money. I just don't know what the next step would be for me career-wise. I want to enjoy life, even while working. I'd love to care for plants or animals. I want to do something meaningful that won't kill my body. Help?!
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23 Comments
23 Comments
Anonymous
10/31/20 at 3:42AM UTC
I propose you find purpose! Have you considered a cat cafe?
1 Reply
Gayleen Tarpley
22
11/01/20 at 3:57AM UTC
I swipe to text, so ignore the typos plz.
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Ap
12
10/31/20 at 3:50AM UTC
Hi Gayleen! I know I don’t have the answers to help with your question but I do love your strength to ask for help. I am sitting in your boat and would like to read or see some motivation or suggestions on this comment. I feel stuck, unmotivated, uninspired, and stressed as well. We all know purpose and passion don’t come with a manual. I know we are all feeling some kind of way, yet what and how do we select a direction? I do believe a positive mind creates sanity, don't forget to honor yourself daily! #weareallstrongerthanwethink
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1 Reply
Gayleen Tarpley
22
11/01/20 at 3:55AM UTC
Thank you for taking me seriously. I recently got a job at a pizza shop- yesterday to be exact. It's a start. I'm going to begin giving myself positive affirmations again on a daily basis.
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Mindy Green
436
On Air Beauty Expert, MUA, Hair Stylist
10/31/20 at 1:48PM UTC
I wonder if this pandemic is feeding into your feelings of worthlessness. This is a time like nothing we have ever experienced. If you don’t think the pandemic is it, just overall falling into a slump, you may have a clue to your happiness.
One of the hardest things for people to decide is what are they passionate about. Or if they figure it out, they don’t have the luxury of a supporting spouse while they go to school or leave their job to make the transition. You already know you love animals and plants. I would volunteer at an animal shelter. Maybe consider being a pet groomer or Vet tech.
If it’s plants you like, consider being a gardener, design landscaping or becoming a florist/floral arranger with a events planner is an idea. Just explore what careers line up with your interests, and I think you’ll be back on track again.
Take care!
User edited comment on 10/31/20 at 1:48PM UTC
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1 Reply
Gayleen Tarpley
22
11/01/20 at 3:57AM UTC
Thank you for your suggestions. I'm considering furthering my education. Lots of great ideas, bless!
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Laura Carmela
34
Life + Health Coach for Working Women/Moms
11/04/20 at 9:39PM UTC
Hi there! This is not an easy time and the feeling of worthlessness can be painful and you took a step to ask for help - you are worthy! The good news is knowing you want to follow your heart toward plants or animals is a great start. Taking it a step further, what do you love about both plants and animals? Then dig in deeper to see what you can currently apply to or get more information about. For example, great suggestions from other FGB's like exploring a Nursery or Horticulture and what does that look like - what other careers in this area peak you interest as you learn about them? You can reach out for informational interviews with people that work in those roles now, ask questions like how they like it, what do they recommend as a starting point, what got them into ti? And for animals, same thing - what jobs could you incorporate animals? Dog walker, pet caregiver, Vet, help people safely pick plants for their homes that have pets ;) You can start exploring, see what peaks your interest then talk to people who are in those jobs as a starting point....
User edited comment on 11/04/20 at 9:41PM UTC
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Doyin Abike Somoye
29
Web Developer
11/04/20 at 10:25PM UTC
Hello,
I know and understand how you feel.I have been in similar shoes too.In my case, what i did was i meditated quietly about finding purpose and direction, and prayed a lot. It was during
those periods of meditation i started developing inspiration and saw opportunities in my environment that had been there all along which i had not taken notice of. My advise is that you seek answers in your time of meditations and you would be surprised at what you will uncover
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Diana Morales-Hernandez
50
Engineer with a Femme STEM Advocate Twist
11/04/20 at 10:30PM UTC
I fully agree with the rest of the FBG's. I love their unique points of view and would definitely follow their advice!
I also want you to know that if you are feeling worthless, you should unmistakably invest a bit of time to feel like yourself again, in addition to following all the extremely amazing advice previously suggested.
Don't be rushed to find something you are good at, but be rushed at finding love in yourself again.
To know that you are worthy should take precedent of everything. The rest will follow. Allow yourself to take the time to explore what's on your mind and like Laura Carmela expertly mentioned "Dig deeper". Ask a million questions and then ask why: "Why is it you love working with animals and plants? What feelings come up when you help an animal vs. what in plants fascinates you the most? " Look for feelings of reward and a sense of belonging as those are very specific indicators that you are on the path specifically meant for you. It should feel like you are creating and designing your own life and you are enjoying the process. Once you have a more clear path that feels authentic to you and what you need to be doing, the feeling of being "worthy" and ENOUGH is just around the corner. ;)
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Farah Bajwa
223
Manager | Mentor | Consultant | Coach
11/05/20 at 1:39AM UTC
Consider reading a book called "What Color is Your Parachute?" Its an easy read that's filled with a lot of great ways to self-discovered and honing in on what you want. You need to be honest with yourself though.
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Jessica Clark
77
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
11/05/20 at 1:53AM UTC
Hi Gayleen! It is a challenge when we feel our “productivity” is tied to are worthiness. You are enough and worthy even when you are not being traditionally “productive”. Sometimes it can be overwhelming to know where to start and we just want it all figured out ASAP. Even if you just spend a few minutes a day on the things you enjoy like writing, looking at gardening ideas on Pinterest maybe... small steps in the direction would like to go with a focus on what you value can help get the energy flowing and motivation kicked into gear. You got this!! A opportunity will present itself, just be ready to recognize it and explore it :)
User edited comment on 11/05/20 at 1:54AM UTC
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Emily Christakis
38
I help organizations thrive one person @ a time.
11/05/20 at 2:34PM UTC
Follow the things that bring you joy and happiness and the money will follow. Plants and animals you say? Great...join or volunteer at a botanical or wildlife association. Follow the stories and people that drive these types of organizations and look into roles that you can potentially apply or volunteer for in the near future. Talk to people who are doing work that is inspiring to you (e.g, dog grooming business? pet day care?)...you'd be surprised how welcoming people are in sharing their stories and paving it forward.
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Anonymous
11/05/20 at 5:22PM UTC
Hi Gayleen,
I can relate with wanting to find purpose. It is difficult to have passion for your job when you don't feel like you're doing something purposeful. I can relate to your wanting to work with pets or animals. I used to work at a children's hospital in healthcare and this is a job I found very purposeful (although the work environment was not very good). I currently work in a corporate environment and I love my job but of course, I don't feel like I am "helping out the world" so much when I compare this to working with children. Have you though about going back to school or taking some online courses? I recently took an online course at the beginning of the year to expand my skill set, while still working full-time. I also found having a course to work on gave me more purpose as well. I hope you can work towards your dreams and hope this is helpful!
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Gellin Hughes
28
Consultant in Atlanta
11/05/20 at 7:58PM UTC
This is such a good question. If I were in a position where I were financially supported and had time to reformat my career on my own timeline, I'd launch my own business. Is that something you're interested in? Is there anything you do for fun that you could potentially craft into a side hustle or part-time work, just to explore? Maybe tending to houseplants or caring for animals could become a small business opportunity. I recommend the book Side Hustle by Chris Guillebeau and the podcast Side Hustle School as a place to start. They're geared towards people who are working full-time for someone else, but I think they provide accessible strategies to start small and see if you like something.
User edited comment on 11/05/20 at 8PM UTC
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Carmelita Ervin
185
Implementation Consultant
11/06/20 at 1:11AM UTC
Gayleen, you are not worthless! You are in a transitional period that takes time to complete. Seems like you are following your passion of writing. It is a blessing to have the support of your significant other. You are not alone in your feelings. When I start to spiral with those feelings, I always look at ways to contribute to my community. This can be a small gesture such as giving a complement and smiling at others. I know with masks it impossible to know if anyone is smiling, but there is still a way to give a complement. Giving back provides a sense of purpose and connection. Also, I must remind myself to practice gratitude by thinking on the positive aspects of my life. At times I must record my daily accomplishments by replacing the negative thought of “I am worthless” with the positive one, “I’m a human being and I am worthy”. Constant positive self-talk is healthy for your mental state. Confess positive things about yourself throughout the day. This journey of life is challenging and takes persistence but if you make small positive steps every day, you can become an overcomer. I wish you all the best as you press forward.
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Antonette
39
What can I do to help you to win?
11/06/20 at 5:47AM UTC
Gayleen, I am so proud of you for taking the first step to ask for help, then to find a job to occupy your time. Along with all the other great suggestions given, I would like to suggest two others. I have found that such slow periods in ones life is a great time to reflect and journal ones feelings and experience. Start a journal if you don't yet have one. Also, I am suggesting that you create a vision board of what success would look like for you in the short to medium term. Include all the positive feeling which would go along with that success. Then write a plan to cultivate those feelings in your everyday life. Each day use positive self talk to remind yourself of those positives. Your positive attitude towards yourself will fuel your actions to accomplish all that is on your vision board.
User edited comment on 11/06/20 at 5:52AM UTC
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Katrina Julia
229
Create, Transform & Inspire. You Are Born To.
11/07/20 at 7:13PM UTC
Sending you so much love. Dig in and remember who you were as a child & what you love to be & do. I have a super helpful 5 part free series How Passion + Purpose = Profits on www.fitlifecreation.com I filmed in Cuba I think you will love & will help you a ton & lots more on blog & show & freebies
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Renata
31
Ideal Careers happen by Design
11/09/20 at 8:53AM UTC
First allow me to commend some amazing advice and input here - and it is well worth considering.This year has been particularly difficult both economically and psychologically. Feelings of hopelessness in the face of the adversities we have had to deal with is not uncommon and in fact by all accounts quite normal. So, please give yourself permission to feel this overwhelm, acknowledge it and then decide how it can serve you.
We often correlate our margin of success with our ability to achieve and sustain our careers and this too is a normal association since this is how we are raised.
You made three very important points about what you enjoy writing, working with animals and working with plants.
Have you considered combining these - e.g. writing about plants and animals either broadly or specifically. For example, which plants are preferred by which animals and why? Why some domestic animals develop allegic reactions to some grasess and what to do about it? For people living in apartments , which plants or herbs or similar can provide natural spaces for animals like cats for them to feel some of nature in their spaces to keep them from tearing up the place etc , etc. perhaps even provide some micro lessons for animal lovers on these topics.Perhaps even connect with vets so talk about supplementation and rehabilitation to help people caring for injured pets. Which plants can be used to manage pet odours in the home or other odours and keep the air in the home clean. Maybe even talk about companion planting for small home gardens. I think the list is endless and is a really good combination because often(though not always) pet lovers also love plants and this is a good way to inform and educate people about harmonising these two fun and generous aspects of their nature. #justathought.
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Robin Ahnen-Cacciatore
11
Politico-> High Tech Client Exec -> Founder
11/09/20 at 4:33PM UTC
Gayleen,
I believe you already know what you need to do, after all you stated it yourself, "I'm bright, a great writer." WRITE! Write about what you know, what you love! Write Write Write
Submit your work to Medium, Huffington Post, or whatever channel best fits your experience, heart & interests. A bestselling author friend reminds her students that if you love writing, then you must write. Write at least 5 pages a day and build up. If you stall, write about the ant crossing the pavement or whatever you see before you.
The world needs bright and insightful writers.... there is a market for you whether you want to freelance, work for a large corporation, or become a bestselling author.
You are worthy. You are magnificent. Now, write!
Good luck Gayleen, I know you will succeed. When you state your intention and follow through, the heavens will open to assist you. You can do this!!!
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Anonymous
11/12/20 at 5:12PM UTC
Hi Gayleen - It's been a tough year both physically and psychologically so I wanted to let you that you're not alone in this. I've been going through the same experience and recently quit my job so that I can do a bit of soul searching. I've been listening to Esther Perel's How's Work? podcast and find it extremely relevant. Some times it's just nice to know that you're not the only person feeling this way during these turbulent times.
I hope you find your purpose soon
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Wonder Russell
25
11/13/20 at 11:37PM UTC
This is one of my favorite topics! A good way to think of purpose for me was that it's the sum of what I do, not what I wish I were doing. Are you familiar with Marie Forleo? She's one of my favorite coaches (with free materials) for this very topic! Maybe start here: https://www.marieforleo.com/category/find-clarity-passion-and-purpose/
I hope it serves you!
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Akshata Sulebhavi
14
Social Media Assistant for SMPLCT LAB
11/15/20 at 3:56PM UTC
Hi Gayleen, I hope you find your purpose soon! and try not to be hard on yourself, give it some time. Consider investing time in the things you love such as writing, animal, plants, etc. Do some volunteering, and try to do writing and journaling. Consider reading this book (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/21548935-the-art-of-work ) It is a book called ' The Art of Work by Jeff Goins. It's about out finding your calling that special goal that brings you joy and gives your life with meaning. Good luck Gayleen!
User edited comment on 11/15/20 at 3:56PM UTC
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Debbie Runyon
41
11/15/20 at 9:39PM UTC
Hello Gayleen, I wish you the best as you continue to work toward finding your purpose. I am trying to type this message with two cats sitting on me, I love animals as well. It would be great if you can find something working with animals. Almost every class or group I have been involved in recommended journaling. If you do journal, for part of your entry try focusing on what you have accomplished in the past. How did you feel when you accomplished certain tasks/activities? Did you feel invigorated, happy, or just okay? Reflecting on things that you have accomplished may help in determining what really brings you joy, peace, contentment, etc. That may help you to find your purpose. Journaling also allows you to write down those things that are bringing you down, as a sort of release. Journal what what is bringing you down, your negative thoughts, why you are having a rough day, etc. Then let those things go. One other thing that helps me immensely is exercise, walking for me. If I am stressed or feeling down, for me going out for a walk brings everything into perspective (most of the time) and is also a great time to be reflective. I wish you the best.
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