What would you do?

Question

I am in conversation regarding a role with a great company and the only 'inside' connection I have is with someone I did not enjoy working with at another firm.  At this other firm, the person was divisive, competitive, manipulative and was oblivious to his toxic affect on the team around him.   He has thrived somewhat at thes new organization I am interested in working at however my question is do I reach out and touch base with him to learn more about the organization and this role and maybe even see if he has pull regarding the role?   BTW: The role would not connect into him.  My gut says no but my brain says yes.  Thoughts?

Elizabeth Marie · Answer

I definitely agree to go ahead and go through the process without contacting him. You don't want to risk the job with the possibility of tampering.

Margaret Darlow · Answer

Thanks everyone.  So helpful to get your perspective and guidance.  I am going to forge ahead without contacting him at this juncture.  And as Kat just mentioned, should I get the job and run into him... I will just feign surprise.  That feels the best to me at the moment.

Kat · Answer

I think most of the folks have covered all my points, so I'm just adding my two cents- I wouldn't contact him and would try instead to find another way in. Gut feelings are real, and as people have pointed out you have no idea how this guy is viewed in the new organization. If he's viewed well, then if you went with someone else- you can always just be like 'oh! surprise to see you!'. If he's viewed as toxic, that could damage you more than help you. But until you find someone else to talk to in the firm, you will have no idea how they view him. I try my best to avoid toxic people because they really just bring more chaos to any scenario....even when they're trying to be helpful (in their way), it just normally runs counter to what I'm comfortable with. Some people you can't avoid, that's just life, but you can try. Good luck!

Limor Bergman · Answer

Seems like you do not like this person and they way he works. Do you trust him?
If the answer is no, I do not recommend contacting him.
If you trust him, put aside your feelings and contact him.
After all you want to get into that company and the position is not related to that person.

Jodie Johnson · Answer

I honestly wouldn't, because he seems the type to lie & steer people wrong intentionally. Wishing you all the best! ?

Nicole Coates · Answer

I would not connect with your former colleague. You can’t know for sure whether he also felt you had a negative relationship and this could risk your new job. As you stated he has been manipulative in the past, I wouldn’t risk his impacting you getting hired.

Anonymous · Answer

I would definitely follow your gut.

It's interesting that this person is now thriving in this company, it makes you wonder if he was a bad fit in the last place he worked, or if things are not as they seem at the new one.
Regardless good luck in your job search.

Quennie · Answer

This is very interesting  scenario to be in. Personally, if  I find myself in the same situation in real life, my timid and reserved self would hold me back from reaching out. However,  it doesnt hurt to reach out and to tap into other people's  feedback. It will still be to your advantage if you approach the ex-colleague . You will learn things that is probably different from your opinion or other people's  but still a great to have information. In the end, the decision to take the job should be not limited to what this person has to say. :)

Leon S · Answer

I think I go back to the story of cup of coffee. If someone accidentally bumps into a cup of coffee, coffee will be spilled, not orange juice, not coke. :)  I hope this analogy can help to strengthen the path of not reaching out to him- its not needeed :) also, we all want to be engaging people  with same values that we have. Just sharing :) Go Margaret and all the best!!! :)

Anonymous · Answer

New environments can have an impact on how people behave in the workplace. This person may have been in a defensive position caused by something/someone that is no longer a variable in the new space.  
If you know this person you also can separate the drama out in any kind of connection you might make.

I've worked with a few people in different work environments, and it depends on the working/reporting relationship as well as how I choose to show up differently.

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