icon
Home icon

Home

Jobs icon

Jobs

Reviews icon

Reviews

Network icon

Network

Resources icon

Resources

|For Employers icon

For Employers

logo
about
careers
FAQs
privacy policyterms & conditionsfor employers
112k
20k
icon
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
My ProfileMy MessagesMy NetworkMy SettingsGroupsEventsMy PostsLog Out
Mystery Woman
Tell us more for better jobs, advice
and connections
YOUR GROUPS
Discover and join groups with like-minded women who share your interests, profession, and lifestyle.
COMPANIES YOU FOLLOW
Get alerted when there are new employee reviews.
YOUR JOB ALERTS
Get notified when new jobs are posted.
Your post is published!
Anonymous
10/20/20 at 8:47PM UTC
in
Career

How to manage your kiss ass boss? Or how to handle politics in your workplace?

I had a boss which is newly joined in our company but he is a former colleague of my former line manager which is now his boss and I am now under this new guy. He used to say to me that I’ve got his back but when there is an issue he cannot defend me instead he keep quite or play innocent and let me take all the burden. But if there is a success he is the one acting like he own the credits. It is hard to deal with this kind of person, but sadly I had no choice because he is now my superior. And my performance appraisal rely on him. One more sad thing is that, if you suggest or contradicts what he says, he will take it personally and he will make my life miserable in my workplace. I don’t wanna lose my job especially in this pandemic situation. But this concerns already affects my work behavior which lead me to become unhappy and demotivated. I also suffer anxiety and stressed at work. I do really appreciate anyone’s advise and opinions. Thank you so much.

Share

Join the conversation...
Nidhi Vichare
star-svg
71
Director - Data Engineering Leader
10/21/20 at 12:17AM UTC (Edited)
I can relate to your situation. I will never call my boss a jerk as I do not or will not know his situation. Your boss probably has some issues that prevents him from being a strong person. One life lesson that I have learnt is that the only person you can change is yourself. Change the way you approach your boss: 1. Meet with him over a video call - give him credit for what he has done for you then ask him for any improvement tips. You need to put him in charge of the situation. 2. Express your thoughts and write them down. Read over to yourself and see if you can change anything. Try the options that you have come up with. People don't change and we cannot expect them to change. The only thing you need to practice is how you get detached from the situation and be stable with your emotions. Our mind controls everything and if we don't let our mind think negatively, I am sure you will feel happier. Remove any biases from your mind about people, and forget anything that happened with you. I am happy to talk to you :) if that helps in any way.
MJ
star-svg
20
10/21/20 at 2:39AM UTC
Thanks Nidhi for the advise.
Cindy Allen
star-svg
150
Logistics Regulatory Affairs & Compliance
10/20/20 at 10:42PM UTC
- Put everything in writing, even if it’s just a summary of conversations, and email them to your boss. “Thank you for the meeting/discussion on (subject) where I suggested (topic) as a possible path. I appreciate your support of my idea...” - Ask for periodic meetings with his boss couched as development discussions. Include him if he objects to these or they are not common in the company. Outline your ideas and results. - Sometimes, especially if you want to keep your job, play his game. Praise his for ideas that he has. Especially if you don’t think they will go well. So that in writing too. Then in future discussions with his boss you can ask for guidance to “the team “ on how it could have been better. You will be seen as a silver instead of someone who is oppositional. These are good habits and skills you can take with you in you next job of the opportunity presents itself. Good luck!
MJ
star-svg
20
10/21/20 at 2:40AM UTC
Thanks Cindy for the advise.
Natalie Kozlowski
star-svg
77
Customer Success at a startup
10/20/20 at 9:41PM UTC
Since you're stuck in this situation for now, this is a good opportunity to get comfortable with talking about your successes. Many women that I encounter feel strange about speaking up when they've accomplished something because it feels like 'bragging'. You deserve to be proud and recognize your own achievements! Try talking about the things that you are proud of with other teammates and potentially other managers if you're comfortable with that, and you'll eventually get the recognition you deserve. Be your own cheerleader! Having a jerk boss sucks definitely, but jerk bosses are everywhere so use your interactions with them as a learning experience! You'll get much better at office politics too, which sadly is also important. If the reviews are negatively impacting your compensation, however, I would bring your concerns to a higher level of management. Be sure to have documentation proving your claims.
MJ
star-svg
20
10/21/20 at 2:19AM UTC
Thanks Natalie, I’ll try your suggestions. Definitely not with other managers or staff who are my boss previous colleagues too. He is now building his empire, he hire new managers coming from his old company. ?
Anya Lambin
star-svg
85
Security Analyst
10/20/20 at 8:39PM UTC
Wow. That’s terrible. I would never want a boss like that.
Christina Strickland
star-svg
145
Vice President, Crackerjack Marketing
10/20/20 at 8:14PM UTC
It might be a good idea to talk to your new supervisor and explain to him how you are feeling. Open up a conversation to learn what motivates him and share what motivates you. He might be a jerk, I don't know. But, he might not be - he might not realize that recognition for your individual contributions are more important to you than they are to him. I would suggest coming to him from the perspective of "I'm as invested in your success as I am in mine and I hope you feel the same. So, how can I help you achieve your goals? Here's how you can help me achieve mine." This will help make your supervisor more invested in the conversation and the outcome.
MJ
star-svg
20
10/21/20 at 2:15AM UTC
Hi Cristina, thanks for the great advise. I will try it if I will be given a chance to speak to my boss and if I already have the guts to say all those things to him. Because I already did it ones, wherein I even tell him to please help me out or try to defend me even for once. It was just a month ago, but there is no changes and worst he just keep quite when my former boss and now his boss asking me about the issue arised. Also, sorry to say but in my culture it is unlikely or very limited person that I know, that can accept this kind of confrontation which will not lead into taking it personally. Therefore sometimes we have no choice but to just follow or keep quite despite we do not agree with what they say. Especially if they are much higher position than you. ? I am also the type of person that if I know I had a valid reason or if I know that I am on the right side, I definitely speak up. But sometimes, not most people wanted to be corrected or accepts the reality that they might done wrong too. Again, especially if they have much higher position that you. Sad but true. ?
Katrina McNair
star-svg
3.56k
Assistant Director
10/20/20 at 6:47PM UTC
Hello, I have been where you are and I completely understand how you feel. I worked for a supervisor who also took all of the credit. What I did was included the her supervisor as well as mine own supervisor about emails with issues going back and forth. This stopped my supervisor from keeping silent when issues arise. Then her supervisor would confront my supervisor about the issues and why she wasn't the one fixing them because she is the one over me. So try including your former line manager on the emails going back and forth with the issues that are happening in your department or section at work. Also write down any conversation that you have with your new manager about any issues so when you are confronted by your former line manager you will be able to have proof of the conversation and stand up for yourself. Your current manager will have no choice but to respond to your former line manager when they are asked questions about why the issues weren't fixed or resolved. I hope this helps. Sincerely, Katrina
MJ
star-svg
20
10/21/20 at 2AM UTC
Thanks Katrina for the advise. I’ve tried to do that, but my current boss get mad at me and says that I should respect the communication hierarchy. And he said that anything that is needed to be relayed to my former boss should comes from him and not from me. Worst, I already sent some concerns & issues to my current boss for him to help me reach out to higher management or to his boss which is my former boss, sadly I do not receive any response or assistance on how I can resolved those issues. ?
Katrina McNair
star-svg
3.56k
Assistant Director
10/21/20 at 11:16AM UTC
Hello, Then I would suggest that you bring a co-worker with you as a witness to what has been happening when issues arise. Then when your former line manager asks you questions about these issues. The co- worker will be able to assist you and be on your side since they know the issue and can talk about what you have done to fix the issue. I hope this helps. Sincerely, Katrina
JYJ
star-svg
2.26k
10/20/20 at 6:33PM UTC
Another jerk boss..... Here's some great tips that I would have told you: https://www.inc.com/jonathan-alpert/what-you-should-do-when-your-manager-steals-your-ideas.html
MJ
star-svg
20
10/21/20 at 2:01AM UTC
Let me check this link. Thank you.

You're invited.

See what women are sharing on Fairygodboss.
What's new today
wand-button
Personalize your jobs
Get recommendations for recent and relevant jobs.
Employer Reviews
Markforged
2.5
There is no work/life balance or boundaries. The...
W. W. Norton & Company
3.8
Average maternity benefits, woman president but men all...
Recent Content
How to Negotiate Work From Home Arrangements for You and Your Team
How I Found My Voice at a Place Where Talent Can Shine — From a Technical Consulting Manager
‘We Have to Humanize the Workplace:’ 3 Traits This Director Says You Need to Excel in Engineering
icon
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
  • about
  • careers
  • FAQs
  • privacy policy
  • terms & conditions
112k
20k