When you address an old pattern or behavior, you win.
Recently I had to say 'no' to a favor that came masked as an "opportunity".
The 'no' wasn't the uncomfortable bit.
I believe in boundaries and I enforce them.
Been around the block, you know!
I did get to thinking what a past, unhealed version of me would have done.
That disempowered inner dialogue would sound something like this:
> What will they think of you if you say no?
> Aren't you supposed to be 'spiritual'?
> It's so simple, no sweat off your back really.
> What if this favor brings an opportunity?
> You can do this in your sleep.
> It's 45mins and so up your alley, you won't even need to prep.
> Are you so weak you can't take this on?
> Your calendar is clear at that time - might as well.
Writing this list made me SO uncomfortable at what I allowed.
Gross, ugh.
I didn't feel guilt, self-imposed shame or worry about what they'd think of me.
So dear one, if you are questioning yourself when people want things from you, especially if you are an entrepreneur, please know:
> You can be kind.
> You can be spiritual.
> You can be a badass.
> You can be a fantastic human.
And be all of that and some...
...and still choose to say no to protect your time, reputation, priorities, health, sleep or if you simply felt the vibe was odd/off.
Onward dear one: with a lot of self-love, self-preservation, self-compassion.
Stay elevated,
Neelam
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My last two roles did not end well so what is the best way to handle discussing those during interviewing? I'm finding that some interviewers are asking more detailed questions about gaps and leaving companies.
To be transparent, the oldest one, I asked to be let go as it wasn't a good situation even with receiving promotions during my three-year stint. The more recent one, I was excited about the role but realized soon after joining the company, they were using the role as a scapegoat for the company's problems.
Despite trying my best, I was let go after a year. The company restructured and merged with another organization soon after I left. A former colleague shared they were using me until the merger to make things work during the interim. My old role was never filled and I learned that three prior directors were let go before my term.
I'd appreciate your advice as I'm trying to position myself so I can be honest but not be ruled out for a new role. I'm having trouble creating a narrative that paints me in the best light. Before these roles, I didn't have job-related issues throughout my 15-year career.
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"Jobseekers Need to Learn to ‘Move On’"
Dwelling on what they can't change is why many job seekers are having a frustrating job search.
https://artoffindingwork.substack.com/p/jobseekers-need-to-learn-to-move
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HR screwed up my 401k. Won’t respond. Options?
im over 50 and eligible for catch up contributions to max out. I have documented proof that I elected a certain number of $ each paycheck be contributed to the ROTH 401k option. They started early in the year, and it was evident in paystubs. I just realized that after a short time, they started to direct my $ to Traditional 401k plus, a few weeks ago, they stopped taking contributions— at the younger person’s max. I’ve emailed via out ticket system, and have been told they are looking into it— and they arranged for this week ( yesterday) pay to have the ROTH max contributions reinstated. My check shows nothing taken out. After repeated no- replies, I had to cc a manager, explaining that I’m running out of time and my messages continue to go with no response. They screwed up with about $27k of my money. im
leaving Dec 27th. Questions:
Can my ROTH vs trad 401k issue be fixed?
Can they take retro contributions since hey are doing nothing now?
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Hi,
Any start ups adding on the team that's owned by someone cool on here?
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My late-30's manager treats me like a child. Her management style is "mommy" and it's insulting.
I'm in my 50's with 25 years experience in this field, and recently earned an MBA directly related to my work. Last year I was laid off from my director level role due to a corporate merger downsizing. The market sucks, so after looking for 6 months I took my current job because I needed to keep paying my mortgage. It's far below my experience (and previous pay) level but the company & leaders seemed good at the time. After a year of proving that I know what I'm doing, I'm still getting useless feedback and fake enthusiasm for even basic things I do - as an example, I walked outside for a minute and she greeted me with, "Oh, you're walking! Good for you!". She's nice, but clueless as an actual manager.
I was hired to run the talent acquisition side of the HR team, and this person is the HR Manager for the company. We recently hired another person to the team that is around my age and has also started showing signs of frustration due to this style of management. If I bring up my concerns, even casually and in a non-aggressive way, she's going to get mad and will unfortuately probably PIP me out of the company.
Any tips? Would love to hear the perspective of the mid 30's to early 40's crowd. I'm not a dinosaur or stuck in my ways, and rarely take age into consideration at work, but it seems to be a generational issue in this particular case.
15 Likes • 46 Comments
I had an interview on Monday where the HR Manager was combative throughout the interview. I normally pride myself on being able to make connections but there was frost in the air from the beginning.
While trying to remain positive, her actions threw me off my game. Asked to explain my background, I tried keeping it on a high-level and then she interjecting about missed experiences, gaps etc. that I found myself rambling instead of being succent. By the end of the 45 minute call I was worn out and knew I didn't do well. The worst part, I really wanted the role and knew I could do 100% better if I was given a real shot. Is there anyway to salvage the situation?
2 Likes • 9 Comments
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