Can I ask a stranger to be a mentor?

June 4,2022 at 2:05PM UTC

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Can I ask a stranger to be a mentor? What is the process for finding a mentor?

I am starting a new role that I am excited about and I already know that I want to grow and succeed in the next two years so that I can secure a promotion. I want to be in the c-suite someday and a VP in 5 years (either within my organization or at another).

I have an internal mentor assigned to me at my new company. She has great experience and has held my position before, but this was her retirement job so she never looked up or out. We have clicked and I like her a lot.

My reason for wanting an external mentor is that everyone is very focused on me staying in this new role forever. They said they hope I retire there. I am sure they are all just being warm and inviting and genuinely want me to be happy there, but I want an outside perspective just in case I want to grow with another company later.

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AnonymousJune 4,2022 at 3:48PM UTC
This is a great question. Probably one of the greatest questions I have seen asked on this site. If becoming an exec or VP is your ultimate goal, realize getting there is half the battle, sustaining the position is the other half.
Finding a good mentor is not always easy because in the beginning someone needs to see the potential in or what value you bring to the environment to invest their time and energy in you.
The best advice I can give you is broaden your goals about finding a good mentor to learning to cultivate influential relationships. Really marinate on that. Just bc you have 1 mentor does not necessarily translate into sustained success. I have seen scenarios where mentors have had conflicts with new incoming execs and when the exec gets rid of that person they also eliminate all those who sided with them. So focusing on building strategic relationships 360 degrees not only from a few mentors because on your road to leadership and when being sustained in leadership you need the ability to influence people and decisions. You need to influence and motivate people to want to take direction from and respect you and trust your competence. Without that, no mentor or anyone can help you. So let that be your focus throughout the years.
to answer your direct question about finding mentors outside your work. Start off by breaking the ice with linked in professionals. Look at their profile, do you see yourself wanting to have a similar job like theirs in 5 or 10 yrs. Think of your road to VP in stages. Ask them questions on their challenges and what personal steps they took to overcome them.
overall, don’t just focus on mentorship. Work on cultivating influential relationships at all levels. Good luck….VP
JJJune 5,2022 at 5:30AM UTC
Awwww! Thanks! <3 Great advice and that helps so much!
bethJune 4,2022 at 6:48PM UTC
It's great that you've had such a warm welcome at your company and your new role! Have you considered getting involved in industry-type organizations? It's a great way to raise the profile of your company, learn new and best practices and, at the same time, develop your network beyond your company.
JJJune 5,2022 at 5:28AM UTC
Great idea. I know just the one!
bethJune 7,2022 at 2:19AM UTC
awesome -- good luck!