02/27/22 at 2:21PM UTC (Edited)
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What are small signs that a job is not for you long term?
We all know the big ones like toxic work environment, abusive leaders, rude co-workers. I’m experiencing a series of small things in my new job that I know that my heart isn’t in it for the long run. I’m actively looking for new work but this can take time. Having said that I’m working very hard at my new job. No one would ever suspect my ennui. To be fair I took this new job very soon into my job hunt. I was only looking for 3 weeks. I was hired basically immediately. I know that this is part of the reason why it’s not a fit. I dove in too soon. I’m curious to hear your stories and experiences where the smaller things added up to knowing a place isn’t right for you and how you gracefully left your current role to do something you love?
Anonymous
03/08/22 at 5:44PM UTC (Edited)
All of these comments!
So helpful and insightful.
like so many, I’m in a similar boat. From week 2, I began questioning if I made the right choice of offers. I feel a sense of guilt and unappreciativeness because I know they are willing to invest in me for my own growth, but the culture isn’t the best fit for me. I’ve also began to realize - this is ok! I can’t compare what works for me with what works for someone else. The reason someone chooses to stay here 6 years are their own. I started looking at the same way I buy jeans….a size in one brand may fit me but not the lady in the next dressing room. You should not settle for “one size fits most”.
the biggest flag for me, we aren’t allowed to have more than one personal item on our desks, if it’s a photo, has to be smaller than 5x7. And we can’t have anything on top of the cabinets next to us. Clean sight lines throughout the office.
Anonymous
03/03/22 at 8PM UTC
I’ve just given my notice after too many months of feeling confused, frustrated, unfulfilled. It hit my confidence hard - everyone else seems so happy, is it me? Maybe I’m not good enough for this? And now, after being hired by a woman who’s given me more positive reinforcement just during the interview process than what I’ve experienced in the role I’m about to leave, I realize: nope, it’s not just me! It isn’t a good fit. I am looking forward to my next adventure and already have several indications the next job is going to be a far better experience!
Anonymous
03/04/22 at 7:07PM UTC
Hang in there, it takes 2 at least to tangle. Positive thoughts your way!
Carla Vargas
29
03/05/22 at 3:03PM UTC
Thanks for the encouragement!
Anonymous
03/03/22 at 5:36PM UTC
No coat closet. It may seem insignificant, but I've found that it indicates poor planning in every aspect.
Other subtle signs are the use of outdated language or a stale website. The organization is likely slow to adapt and evolve, which will be evident in technology, procedures, etc. There's usually a general lack of initiative in these environments.
Anonymous
03/07/22 at 7:19PM UTC
Stale website…so true. Also, in some cases, I’ve found a stale office environment is a sign too. Dusty shelves, old calendars hung up, cubes not taken care of in years, etc.
Anonymous
03/10/22 at 3:58AM UTC
Oh yes! Perfect description, lol. When I think of past employers, this one tracks. It even correlates w/how competitive my compensation was. That can't be a coincidence.
Beth Consugar
95
03/03/22 at 2:10PM UTC
Feeling not challenged. Not bored, but not challenged.
Not feeling motivated to go to work most days. We all have a day here and there when we don’t feel like going to work, but if most days are like that, you may have a small sign.
Not feeling connected to your co-workers. No need to be best friends, but you should feel connected.
I hope you find the right position for you soon!
Anonymous
03/02/22 at 3:34PM UTC
I needed to read this and all the comments! same here. I took a new role within my company, because I was getting steller performance reviews but no upward advancement opportunity over the last 3-4 yrs. It took me 8 mos, but I found another role internally, better money, new team. It was the fear of leaving the 'golden handcuffs' of pay, benefits, and a leader in the industry. After <1 yr into the new role, I understand why it had been vacant. -Unmanageable workload -Poor internal collaboration (left off emails, off meetings) -Incomplete work by other groups -Self-directed onboarding ("just ask, what you need") - support and focus on measurements, not action. I've come to the realization, that this company will continue to overlook my talents and that I've delayed my departure by taking this role. furhtermore, my talents may not be the best match (my fault for thinking so)
In the recent months, I've been interviewing externally. I think my fear that it will be worse elsewhere, has me stuck where I am. I'm unhappy...
Something must change, and those 'red flags' I experience are BOTH, my internal voice and the external workplace factors. This has happened before, and I've figured it's usually 50/50 on the outcome if I like and thrive in a new role (based off my past experiences).
Signed,
I'm Ready to Blow this Taco Stand
Anonymous
03/02/22 at 7:48PM UTC
The devil you know paralysis is real! I have to believe that there is a better place for those who seek it out, though!
Anonymous
03/02/22 at 4:51AM UTC
I totally understand. This was me just recently, and we decided to mutually part ways. I had been looking for a lot longer than you, and an old boss contacted me. I was feeling the desperation and jumped in where I shouldn't have. I was hesitant at first, and over the next few months I became miserable. It just didn't feel right, and I didn't feel like I "fit" the organization. I have a whole creative side. This was far from creative. I have a lot of happiness and energy, and everyone just kept to themselves there. I was used to managing teams, and I was only managing myself and being managed. I felt almost claustrophobic. I think if you're asking the questions about if a job isn't right for you, it probably isn't.
That being said, leaving isn't necessarily easy. But you just tell them that you found something else that spoke to you more. You owe the company nothing, really...and maybe they'll find someone that will love what they do. Think of it as making space for a person who may love it more than you. I know they did where I was. I'm sure my replacement is farrrr happier than I was.
Anonymous
03/02/22 at 4:02AM UTC
Similar scenario, 1st job after layoff, subtle hints which made me realize it was not a good decision. The organization and my values were in conflict. The organization would tell little lies repeatedly, numbers were being fudged, bad practices and I jumped ship without a parachute. I was miserable and disappointed with myself at having made the decision to accept it. Then I found an employer and a manager to whom I thought it would be a win-win and it was not. She’s the epitome of a pioneer in the field, it did not translate into an empathetic leader. Loud and abrasive, belligerent in her tone, and condescending. Federal funded dollars, no SOPs, no direction/instruction— it was pure chaos, little sleep, 3am wake-up, weight loss and stress. Needless to say, I jumped ship less than 3 mos, this time prepared with a new job. Now my highlight is I am in my field of interest, learning new skills that will be an added benefit to my next opportunity — ST, I plan to stay. Get my things in order and then figure out what’s next. I think about the saying, the grass is greener on the other side and remind myself, the grass is greener wherever I water it. So now, my focus is on giving and receiving 110%, it’s not financially based— it’s on the intrinsic reward. I’m pleased to be in my field and have a seat at the table to bring about positive change.
Anonymous
03/02/22 at 2:20AM UTC (Edited)
I am in this position as well almost 9 months into a job and there have been a lot of signs over the months, poor communication, lack of clarity on assigned projects, micro aggressions, some toxic colleagues who try to throw you under bus or subtlety try to sabotage your success, lack of communication from senior management, working in silos, leaders openly talk badly about colleagues, high turnover, lack of culture and DE and I , lack of collaboration.
Today I’ve reached that decision after feeling utterly defeated on a project where I was excited with in the beginning and now i don’t care. I cried after work and realised this is it. No job is worth this no matter how short the tenure. Time to get out. Your gut/ body will tell you its not right! Always pay attention to those red flags or feelings something isn’t right as it usually gets worse. Best to realise sooner than later! The longer you stay the more negative it can make you feel. This has happened in several roles now but I’ve realised the only thing you can change is yourself. Build up your confidence, stay positive and learn from this and look for a better company.
User deleted comment on 03/05/22 at 4:33PM UTC
Janet Parkhurst
215
03/02/22 at 1:17AM UTC
After reading most of the input here, I'm sensing that we're considering red flags that are based on the people around us and EXTERNALS--not inner signs and emotions that try so desperately to grab our attention and move us to make a change--even if it's "too soon." Even if it means admitting to having made a mistake.
When I started my new job, I was eager to learn and thrilled to have been given the opportunity. It was a brand-new industry and a brand-new job. It was exciting, challenging, and rewarding, so I almost didn't notice that I was putting in way more time (unpaid) than I should have been. I just wanted to be the best in this new role!
Fast forward... less than six months later, I have anxiety dreams almost nightly, feel a slice of fear when I see my boss's name on incoming calls and now experience the functions of the job as rote and mechanical.
Worst of all, there are so many moving parts to the job, that it consumes way too much of my brain and far more time than the 24 hours I am allotted per week to get it all done. I track my time and my average work week comes out to be, like, 34 - 35 hours per week. So consider the inner rage that comes with working for free and we can add "feeling exploited" to the list. (The expectation of Management is that I can and should be able to easily perform my duties within that time limit, which is way out of sync with reality.)
So, where I once couldn't wait to get out of bed and do that job, now I'm filled with dread and loathing in the morning. I am also indulging in unusual, self-sabotaging and destructive behavior, such as staying up ridiculously late, watching reruns on TV and drinking way too much wine.
I've invested so much time, energy and money (I seriously decorated my office), and now just feel down and depressed about the whole situation.
So, my point is, regardless of our real situations and how we deal with them on the outside, the REAL RED FLAGS are coming from within. We must listen to our inner voices, acknowledge and honor those unruly emotions (and horrific new behaviors) and face the very real fear that can only accompany the acknowledgement that we are wasting our lives by succumbing to the unholy hell of working at something that brings very little joy each and every day. Or, on a larger scale, and one that will eventually manifest, a job that feels like a punishment. Listen, not one of us knows how much time we really have left in this life, so, in the words of a long-ago favorite colleague who succeeded at everything he did, "If it isn't fun, don't do it."
Liz Milne
1.44k
03/02/22 at 12:21AM UTC
My only concern with this is your belief that you jumped at this job too quickly and that's why your ennui has set in: do be sure that you didn't accidentally luck into a good job; one you're underestimating because they hired you so easily.
It would be awful to jump ship and then realise that, actually, the job was okay, and had you been looking for six months or more, your gratitude at *finally* landing a job might have kept it sweet for much longer?
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