Should I stay or go? | Fairygodboss

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Anonymous

11/01/20 at 11:38PM UTC

Career

Should I stay or go?

I resigned and while doing so my boss (the CEO) offered an interesting counter - he asked me if I would consider staying and submit a proposal that would offer some of the things I was leaving for. 1) relocating/being bicoastal 2) altering my role 3) comp. He also gave me a raise that he and the president had previously discussed (he was supposed to do this with my review in September but never got around to it). I was definitely caught off guard by the proposal request and agreed with no promises, as I am excited for the job offer I have and accepted, but feel it is a good exercise to figure out what you want out of life/an opportunity and would even help me shape the way I approach the role at the new company. Even though the timing isn't great, and could have been avoided if he had spoken to me in September, the opportunity is here now. That said, I have been stuck on the proposal and now wonder if I should submit - 1) it could be rejected 2) if it's not, would I then feel compelled to stay? Some back story - I have only been at this company since September 2019 (shortest job stint in over 10 years) and started looking for a new job/continuing my job search after a meeting a week before I started working there. I was very close to quitting pre-covid lockdowns. The last couple of months have been actually a lot better and my only concern was if it would go back to the way it was pre-lockdown when we returned to the office and I wanted to have another position before a return to the office. This return has now been pushed back to June and now I have the ability to reframe my position. How much is this worth considering in a place that for most of my time I did not see at future or longevity? My role couldn't change immediately as we would need to hire someone + train who would work with me and take over some of the responsibilities. I am concerned about the follow through on the transition though I would have a document outlining it so that I could push for things but the job offer I am considering offer the things my current job is trying to match and I would have to go back on my acceptance, if I stayed. Would love ideas on how others would think about this. I know this is a great position to be in and I am definitely grateful but still struggling. Thank you!

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Beverly Ruyle

225

11/06/20 at 7:21PM UTC

Too little, too late. Move on.

Abigail Church

Organizational Development Professional

11/05/20 at 5:08PM UTC

This sounds tough! The one thing you mentioned that stuck with me throughout reading your post is that your boss was supposed to give you a raise in September, but never got around to it. As someone who has been responsible for managing people, that tells you everything you really need to know about what continuing to work for this employer will be like. If you are excited about the new job with the new company, I don't think you should spend time putting together a proposal for changing your role in your current company. Instead, give them the feedback they need to hear to be better for the next person they hire.

Anonymous

11/05/20 at 6:03AM UTC

I just want to say thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and share thoughts on my situation. All the comments have been so helpful, so I wanted to update everyone on my decision, which I do think I always knew was the right one but had a bit of fear about starting a new and challenging position. I am going to keep my commitment to the new company - which will give me a lot of thing I thought I was going to get from my current role. In addition, it fills a passive goal of mine at working at a well known global company, something I have thought was missing from my resume. Also, my new boss is smart, passionate, determined, but also lovely!

Sophia Sullivan

11/05/20 at 3:12PM UTC

Yes!! Being a little afraid of a new challenge is a great thing. It means it's a great opportunity to learn and grow :-) You're going to be amazing at it and your new boss sounds wonderful! Good luck!

Audrey Kirsch

377

11/04/20 at 9:59PM UTC

I would take the new job. I don't play that game of saying I'm leaving just so the company will beg me to stay. I know the offer if you stay was a surprise to you but do you want to go through this again for any promotion in the future if you stay. Plus, in good faith, you accepted the new position. You must have thought it was an interesting offer or you wouldn't have accepted in the first place. The honorable thing to do would be to take the new job. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Pippa

11/04/20 at 8:31PM UTC

A couple of thoughts: 1. You've been looking for another job for as long as you've been there. 2. Is the reason they counter-offered because they value you you or because they don't want to go through the hiring and training process? If they value you, why did they not show it until you gave your notice? 3. I think this is a key component to consider. You wrote; "My role couldn't change immediately as we would need to hire someone + train who would work with me and take over some of the responsibilities. I am concerned about the follow through on the transition..." Given that your September review and raise were forgotten until you gave your notice, once you've committed to staying, what is their incentive to follow through with the hiring and training in a timely manner so that you can reframe your position? My guess? It is more likely that you will continue to do the job you've been trying to leave as long as you've been there, as the timing will never be "right" for them to hire and train. 4. You have a new job offer in hand that you're excited about! Why give it up for a job you've never been excited about, and which will likely not change in the foreseeable future. Good luck!

User edited comment on 11/04/20 at 8:35PM UTC

Sandra Slutz

11/04/20 at 7:33PM UTC

One thing you mentioned struck me as a huge red flag: your boss "never got around to" giving you the raise that was agreed upon in September. Giving someone a raise is my all time favorite thing to do as a manager! Not making time to do so promptly makes me question your boss's commitment to you.

Julie Foster Weldon

11/04/20 at 6:56PM UTC

All the commits above are on point. That being said (and not having any trust in what I am told by owners and managers), please take the new job now. Don't look back and regret the new company employment offer. I only say that because where was your HR manager/owner when you needed that raise and change in position? Suddenly they come up with a raise and accepting of your change in the job? Take the new job and spread those wings!

Sophia Sullivan

11/04/20 at 5:22PM UTC

I agree with the comments that have said that you need to trust your instincts. If you didn't see a future there for most of the time you were there and your boss "didn't get around to" the raise, then there is a very good chance that he's "not going to get around to" putting any of your proposed plan into action. Having you submit this proposal is putting off the inconvenience (to him) of having to find someone to replace you. He's been telling you all the information you need to know about how he values you, go for the new job you're actually excited about!

christa dodoo

11/04/20 at 4:15PM UTC

Hi, though this is a very enviable situation to be in, i suggest you make the decision based on what fits into your future plans. 1. Looking for a job immediately you joined meant something was very wrong. Don't forget that what prompted that decision is still there even though it may be masked 2. Never a good sign to have your bosses only realise your true value when you have another offer. 3. If they value your input and willing to support your career, a discussion on your future would not have escaped him. I think you should focus on the future opportunity you have been presented with and jump in with courage. The unknown may be scary but if you don't like the new job you can always try again and know that you took that step towards what works for you. All the best in making a decision with only YOU in mind.