This is quite long, but please bear with me. I need help.
It was my senior year when I was offered a job at the same office I had my internship. They said that I had become I vital part of their operation since I started as an intern and they wanted to keep the progress they were having. Few days before my first day, they told me that the administration will only hire me part-time for 6 months probation and my salary is obviously low and that I will not have the usual benefits regular employees will have, I was really doubtful at this point but my supervisors convinced me that my job would be more than my usual tasks during the internship, that I would be introduced and trained to external linkages which from my understanding is working in the field and will expand my network and that they will also help me get a scholarship for my Master's degree if I hop in, plus I will become regular employee after 6 months. It was my first job, so I thought it would have been also a great idea to work with people I already know.
Fast forward to 6 months, There was only one informal training I received and I did not become a regular employee. They asked me to renew my part-time contract because they need me and told me that it's going to be difficult to find a job in the market during the pandemic. So I did. From having to render only 3 days they asked me to go to work for 5 days because they badly need the manpower. I was scared to be unemployed during these times. They said we should all still be thankful we still have jobs compared to others and that my extra hours of work will impress our bosses to make me a regular employee. I also understand that what they're saying are facts, but I feel a bit gaslighted by what they said. I also thought it would be better for my resume if I completed one whole year in my first job.
During work from home adjusted I noticed that I and sometimes my supervisor are the only ones logging in on time for work every day. It felt like my other co-workers were slacking off half of the workday. During payday, they would announce it and celebrate it in our group chat that money is in. Since I'm a part-timer my salary isn't given as frequently as they were, and I also had to get my salary in the office whilst regular employees' money is being deposited. They keep talking about their free-internet pay, which also is not available for part-timers. I understand the system I just wished they were a bit more sensitive about my situation, I even opened up to my supervisor if I could get a more convenient way to get my salary and they said we have to follow the HR system. Peak season and I was really working hard, I was keeping up the same energy and work ethics I believe that should retain even though there's a pandemic. I was burned out, it started affecting my mental health. Our customers are enraged and I feel like I was absorbing it.
I was so burned out, to the point, I faked a job offer and told my supervisors I was being offered a job with a fair salary with benefits. My supervisor then told me that they will be having a counteroffer and that another job offer was still too low and that I should consider because their offer is going to be higher, better and I still have to work only at home. So I did, it was like a promise and that they assured me that what happened will not happen again.
Exactly the official month where I become a regular employee (1 year) I hear no update from my supervisors and HR, it even felt like they were avoiding interactions with me. So I decided to follow up because it's almost the end of the month, we had a meeting that they said it might be hard to have me regularize at the moment since our hiring is on freeze and the office is planning to lay off workers and lessen other people's salary because the pandemic took a toll in our revenues. It felt like they were saying that it would not look good to other departments if someone from our office turns regular and receive a raise. My supervisor then told me that they will try their hardest to get me an offer for me to stay, fast forward to another month. I was offered a new contract, my working hours of 8hours 5 days a week is more official than ever.. sadly, there were NO benefits still included and when you compute it I'm even below the minimum pay of regular employee salary in our country but they keep insisting that I am now a full-time employee.
I was devastated but it felt like I couldn't do anything, and that it was more of my fault why I am now in my position. I don't feel motivated anymore... I even feel angry sometimes. I started slacking off a bit, and I keep looking for side hustles available. I think my supervisors are noticing it and they keep giving hints in the group chat about working harder and being grateful for having a job. Their talking manner is getting more offending for me it felt like they want to make me feel that I should be more because I had a little bit of a raise during these times.
I feel like I'm wasting my time, but I am also actively looking for a job and it is indeed hard. What should I do? Am I just overreacting? I'm planning to leave work this December, should I do it? I want to save money and I just turned 22.