Allow yourself to be hurt and angry so that you get those emotions out of your system as much as possible before the meeting. What she did was uncalled for and petty, but you can't go into the meeting with that mindset or she will win.
The best thing you can do before the meeting is prep. Know the project inside and out and make sure that you have solid logic behind why you are completing the project the way you are; even better if you can relate it to specific benefits for the company. That should be what your boss and the operations manager care about the most. Also figure out which parts of the project you absolutely don't want to change or give away and which are the parts that you don't care as much about. This will help you know which hills you are willing to die on during the meeting.
I think it's good that the meeting is going to have both of your bosses in it, so that there are witnesses to what is decided. You are right that you need to remain as gracious and professional as possible. It will help if you come at the meeting with the mindset of figuring out a solution that is best for the company. Also try to spend as much time listening as possible and not actually talking. Don't be afraid to stand your ground, just do not get argumentative or personal when you do it. Let the facts and logic justify your actions. It would be good to ask your boss and her boss their vision of the project and what they want the project to accomplish, just to make sure everyone is on the same page. Also, make sure that you come out of the meeting with a very clear understanding of what has been assigned and to whom it has been assigned. It could be helpful to do a quick summary at the end where all of that is listed out to ensure that everyone is on the same page.
The relationship that your bosses have with your coworker will color this meeting, so that is an important thing to consider and also prepare for. It can help to reframe the goal of this meeting into one where you figure out a path forward for the project that is ideal for the company and take any personal attachment out of it.
If you can remain calm cool and collected in the meeting any passive aggressiveness/pettiness on her part will really shine through. She clearly knows what she is doing, but you don't want to or need to go to her level. If you have an expressive face, it might be best to have a notepad and take notes whenever someone else is talking so that people don't see your initial reactions as easily.
You mentioned that you have been struggling in your private life with some things. As much as you can, in the time between now and the meeting, be good to yourself. Do things that you enjoy, eat your favorite meals, get full nights of sleep etc. This will help you get into the most positive place you can be so that you are as fortified as possible going into the meeting. It's also important to do this for a few days after the meeting. What happens right after the meeting is just as important as the meeting itself. Being poised and gracious in these situations is exhausting so you have to be mentally strong and the only way to do that is take care of yourself the best you can.
I hope some of this helps! Good luck :)
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