May I express myself?

Anonymous

October 28,2024 at 12:58PM UTC

I am dealing with complacency. I have been at my employer for a total of 5 years with no recognition or appreciation for my work. I am a doctoral candidate but at work, I am overlooked. My coworkers often say, “I don’t know what we will do if you were to leave”. I stay because I’ve submitted 200 plus applications with only 3 interviews in the last 9 months. I stay because my students appreciate me. Sometimes, they’ll even mention it. Recently, one of my students in social work used me as her most influential person. Talk about waterfalls. As a mother of toddler girls, I am continuously reminded that they are watching me. My mind and heart is telling me to resign and pursue public sector work for a community of girls who have similarities to me. This will allow me to still support several of the students that are on my caseload. I’m afraid of the unknown. I’ve been building this organization for some time but my support system is my immediate family and a few peers. Will anyone see the value in this work? Does anyone share the vision?

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8 Comments

Regina Brown

10/30/24 at 9:07PM UTC

You gotta make a decision. Like you said "your daughters are watching" This doesn't sound like complacency, it sounds like you enjoy your job because you are good at it. In what way, do you feel you have been overlooked.

Playing devil's advocate, listen to your mind and heart, start the job search discreetly and privately. No one needs to know. Maybe going out there and looking could just be just what you need to be happy with where you are and ensure that upper management know who you are and the value you bring to the table.

Your daughters are proud of you no matter what. You are "mommy" period. Your students are proud of you, no matter what as they will take what you have taught them their entire lives

I guess the real question is...are YOU happy with what you have achieved?

Anonymous

10/30/24 at 2:40PM UTC (Edited)

I'm sorry to hear this. Feeling underappreciated and devalued is awful in and of itself, but as a chronic pattern can lead to illness - and like you said, you're mindful of the impact on your daughters. From my reading of your situation, I believe you're at a turning point/ fork in the road type of situation. Things are breaking down for you to determine what's next for you. You've observed what you don't want. This place won't recognize you. So, you've got some options. 1. stay (not really the option you want- but in the short term, if you start quiet quitting, it can give you the financial benefit- it's better to search for a job while you have a job). Just don't let it suck more life from you. Let it be a foundation and start building a new life. 2. make a new plan (which may be to do the same thing just somewhere else). Plan your work then work your plan- as they say. 3. Embrace change. Maybe your life/surroundings/ marketplace/industry is telling you something. Where do you need to pivot?Where else can you find joy/learn something. I know---this may seem odd. Esp. to a person who committed herself to a certain life...to have to change it?? Maybe sit with the idea of what else is out there. (because from what I read, where you work , those doors are closing). Find a new door. 4. How to learn about yourself now. Perhaps a mentor or coach (in and outside your industry). Work on rebranding yourself. There are lots of great books to help you search for new/adjacent pathways. 5. reconnect with what you value and provide that for yourself. It sounds like you want your work/life to matter. It does. But, you may not get the outer validation that you've been seeking (maybe moreso since you've been underappreciated). Find ways to take your control back.Get in whatever driver seat you want. If resigning is an option for you, make it happen. Many people have to factor in the finances, so review that for yourself because you could just quit once you find the work. It's amazing, once you quit in your heart and start seeking the life you want, how the drama of your current employer just dissipates. Good luck!

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