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Mentoring next generation
I used to have a younger female employee who would always come to my open office door and say “I’m sorry to bother you.” I told her that if my door was open that meant I was available and she wasn’t bothering me. Instead I encouraged her to knock and just ask if I had a moment to talk with her.
Grissel Seijo
Better does not mean best for you.
12
11/12/20 at 11PM UTC
Your point is critical because you are taking the initiative to teach without waiting for the ask. Another mentoring tip I give is to provide a new employee or someone in a new role, the "coffee chat list." This is a list of individuals in the Company that the person should get to know. This is particularly critical in a virtual world where getting to know people can be difficult. In other words, be the conduit to institutionalize knowledge and networking.
RenataIdeal Careers happen by Design
77
11/09/20 at 9:21AM UTC
I have found that is very much a "culture" thing particularly evident with young people who were raised by either older parents or/and grandparents. NB!!! This may not apply unilaterally.
So there is an element of age -relatedness to this, given that older parents [e.g. parents who had their children significantly later than the mean of their cohort] and children who had grandparents as significant parental roles in their lives. You will notice that there are a few indicators which could signify this - one is the over -apologetic tendencies, another is the inability or awkwardness in making eye-contact with seniors ( either age related or professional status), there is also in some cases a tendency to not want to be in the lime-light or the center of attention when more "perceived competent" people are around. It is very difficult for these individuals to break an entrenched hierarchical upbringing and so I found that instead of repeatedly telling them things like " dont apologise unless you are actual apologetic" or " if my door is open I am available or similar- because while these may appear to be well meaning understand these also attack the fibre of these individuals upbring and make this increasingly difficult for them to reconcile this in the heads. So rather than trying to change their approach by insisting on a different approach, try to rather acknowledge their "perceived intrusion" by indicating that you are not offended by the intrusion and in fact prefer that they make such intrusions when they need to. They will eventually get the message that their perceived intrusion is just that their perception and it will dissipate as they get more comfortable with this new approach.
Rosie MouaProcess Consultant | Project Management
55
11/06/20 at 4:52PM UTC
I agree with some of the comments above that it is more personality and not always age. I do this myself because I want to be polite but not always aware I can over do it. Reminds me of a recent episode of Dancing with the Stars, Backstreet Boys AJ constantly says “Sorry”. ?
Sarah BartleyFront-end Web Developer
252
11/06/20 at 7:23AM UTC
I do the same thing when I am with mentors. That is a habit that comes from past experiences I had with some bad ones. Now that I'm mentoring people I try to create an open door policy with them so they have a good mentoring experience and don't feel hesitant about needing help.
Jackie BeecherIndirect tax & compliance SME
32
11/05/20 at 7:45AM UTC
I think it's personality driven & not necessarily an age trait. I have been guilty of over apologising myself, & used to say the following phrase before asking or commenting 'you'll murder me, but...' which used to drive a male colleague crazy! We had a great working relationship, but this particular comment grated on him and he used to always start back with 'no I won't & stop saying I will :-) '. I have outgrown the phrase thankfully & think Paul's regular feedback as to how it annoyed him, actually helped me realise there were better ways to start a conversation.
Krista CouttsMarketing Professional, Cross-Functional Leader
336
11/04/20 at 10:41PM UTC
I truly enjoy having conversations with younger colleagues. Their view of the world is very different from those of us who are much more experienced. I feel its our role to help them, guide them, provide a space for them to grow!
Retired happy
558
10/30/20 at 7:10PM UTC
I mentor undergraduates at the university that I graduated from. I found that they couldn't keep appointments timely. I counseled them that this was a fundamental skill for their careers.
I was a big advocate of mentoring when I was a manager always spelled out and provided training on the responsibilities of mentors and mentees. Allowing mentees to mentor others in a limited capacity quickly gave mentees the skills they needed to develop. Especially if if was part of their performance reviews
Benise Donahue
23
10/30/20 at 5:45PM UTC
I've had that habit of apologizing. For me, & maybe others- this is much more of a rote politeness. I broke this when someone asked if I was really sorry (I wasn't- I was being polite). I was told to only use sorry if I did something wrong & that my asking for someone's time wasn't.
Katrina McNairAssistant Director
3.56k
10/30/20 at 5:33PM UTC
Hello,
I truly understand how you feel. The next generation seem to have a lack of leadership or assertive qualities. Unfortunately this is something that must be taught and isn't something that they are born with. Once they are trained in using these skills they will become more successful in their jobs and with their duties.
Sincerely,
Katrina
Tami BrownManager in Chilton, WI
370
10/30/20 at 8:05PM UTC
I agree with the statement, but am also guilty of doing it too much myself. I have received feedback from my direct reports as well as my peers, recommending using different terminology to express myself. I have now made more of an effort to use "Pardon?", instead of "Sorry?" and "Excuse my interruption, or Do you have a minute to chat?" Making the conscience choice internally as to how you express yourself both builds your inner confidence and the confidence others see in you. Thanks for sharing!
Katrina McNairAssistant Director
3.56k
10/30/20 at 8:13PM UTC
Hello Tami,
You’re welcome and glad to share. I agree with you that this isn’t easy and I’m also guilty of this myself. I’ma chronic apologizer. Even my mother has told me countless times to stop apologizing. Being assertive is something I truly have to work on. I have started practicing by giving myself a pep talk before going to work about how I want to be treated and respected. In order for that to happen I need to be able to be assertive and treated like an adult.
Sincerely,
Katrina
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