Telling old employer about new job

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Anonymous

12/29/20 at 4:42PM UTC

Career

Telling old employer about new job

I am giving my 2 weeks’ notice at my current employer. The person who would have become my new boss at current employer is a very toxic person and has tried to remove me from all the projects I was getting great feedback on by global department heads. She also tried to immediately remove me from firmwide committees. My original boss announced his retirement only a couple months ago and the person who would become my new boss is trying to get a promotion this year (she hasn’t been considered for one in 20 years) and has seen me and my success as a threat though I’m 2 levels junior to her. Though my employer is a great place, I’m worried about people telling the person who would have become my new boss of my new employer and then her trying to ruin things for me at my new employer too. Is it ok for me to not disclose my new employer to anyone at my old employer? I don’t want to harm my relationships with my colleagues with whom I have become very close either.

56 Comments

Anonymous

12/29/20 at 5:48PM UTC

No need to share the new employer's name. You can just politely say your rather no share details just yet. Just say it's a great opportunity that you are looking forward to. Though I understand you're nervous about this person, I seriously doubt she would risk looking like a complete unprofessional fool by bad mouthing a former employee. She probably doesn't have the sway in the professional community you seem to think she does. Certainly not if her career has stagnated for the past 20 years. She was able to target you because you were at the same company and were under her and within reach. Enjoy your new job and don't let her petty envy get the best of you. You'll be long gone soon enough.

Gwynne Monahan

Write well, edit better.

12/29/20 at 5:49PM UTC

You are generally not required to tell people where you are going. You can just give your 2 weeks notice, say thank you, tie up any loose ends you can, and nothing more. You can also tell a select few you trust, perhaps leave contact info if you have a good relationship and want to keep in touch. With few exceptions, I give my notice, thank them for the opportunity, close out whatever I can (unless access is cut off immediately after receiving my notice), and move on.

Stephanie Chernoff

153

12/29/20 at 6:45PM UTC

"Dear Manager, I am resigning my position at this organization effective (xx/xx/xx). Regards, Employee". That's all you have to say. No one needs to know if you're leaving for another job, starting your own business, going back to school, taking care of family, or going off the grid for 6 months.

User edited comment on 12/29/20 at 6:47PM UTC

3 Replies

Cinzia Iacovelli

473

Marketing Project Manager, Digital Events

12/30/20 at 5:27AM UTC

Agree 100%

Stephanie Chernoff

153

12/30/20 at 3:30PM UTC

However - think carefully about what you want to say in an exit interview if there is one. If you can back up your experience and present it factually, it is important for it to be heard. "Since Joe announced his retirement, Mary has tried to have me removed from these committees and projects. My involvement in each of these has been praised by senior leadership. I can't speak to her motivation, but I don't believe it is in my best interests to become her direct report, which is unfortunate because I've truly enjoyed working here." and bring copies of those emails with the feedback. It's important for your feedback to be heard, regardless. But I say "back it up" because you need it to be more than just her word against yours.

User edited comment on 12/30/20 at 3:32PM UTC

Karen Wagner

12/31/20 at 2:57PM UTC

Agreed, in fact I would never tell them where I am going, it is really none of their business and they should not be asking.

Anonymous

12/29/20 at 6:55PM UTC

Do not tell anyone. She will call, sabotage your new job and have you possibly fired as soon as you get there. That "new boss" sounds like a real trip. I would distance myself from her as soon as possible. DO NOT TELL OTHERS WHERE YOU WORK EITHER as in co-workers or friends. She will ask them and you will be out the door. She is working on having you fired from where you are now and she have you fired at your new place. So if she knows your new place you will out and have NO JOB AT ALL.

2 Replies

Anonymous

12/30/20 at 1:44PM UTC

Seriously? You might more than a little melodramatic here. Maybe try being supportive instead of doom-and-gloom.

2 Replies

Anonymous

12/30/20 at 3:34PM UTC

This happened to me so if I am so melodramatic excuse me. It must be nice to be secure in a job/career. I was young and stupid. I told my boss when he asked where I was going. He called the minute I left the office after turning in my resignation. When I got home I got a message, the new place called and said there was a mistake and there was no job. This was after all the checks and letter of acceptance. So do not talk to me about being melodramatic. I know that SOB screwed me over. I confronted it the next day as I was clearing out my desk and he had a big smirk on his face. At that point I had nothing and received a big f**king.

3 Replies

Anonymous

12/30/20 at 4:03PM UTC

With all due respect, stop taking your anger out on me. Until then, I have nothing more to say to you.

1 Reply

Sweet Caroline

2.77k

12/30/20 at 5:23PM UTC

This is highly unusual. Unless you committed a crime your new company should not be accepting advice from your former company. It's illegal in most states for them even offer anything beyond your employment dates and titles. I find it strange that the new company would take this information and act upon it when you can claim damages against them in court as well as file a slander suit against the former company. As long as you had a signed offer letter, you can certainly pursue damages. I would suggest speaking to a lawyer.

1 Reply

Anonymous

01/02/21 at 12:44AM UTC

I'm so sorry you experienced that, and sadly it happens more than people know. Folks who have non-competes need to be especially wary - I've seen multiple former colleagues lose out on great jobs, as a company decided the new role was "too close to what we do" and tried to enforce the NC. The prospective employers backed away, and the suits were ultimately dropped, but who needs the stress? You do not owe anyone the name of your new company, period. The short, sweet, factual notice letter is the way to go. And skip the exit interview - there's nothing to be gained if you're unhappy enough to leave.

User edited comment on 01/02/21 at 6:15PM UTC

Melannie Barnes

01/03/21 at 4:39PM UTC

Anonymous reply: This really does happen so please pause your judgment in this group.

User edited comment on 01/03/21 at 4:40PM UTC

1 Reply

Anonymous

01/03/21 at 4:58PM UTC

Stop assuming that disagreement equals judgment.

Anonymous

12/31/20 at 2:09PM UTC

OMG - some people really like to hold on to things. Time to let it gooooo.... If this is meant to be advice maybe work on your wording and approach. This is the most vindictive, petty thing I have read on this site to date. Retired? Now focus on maturing.

User edited comment on 12/31/20 at 2:10PM UTC

1 Reply

Anonymous

12/31/20 at 5:32PM UTC

Evidently you have had it soft. Did someone get you your position now? Maybe a relative is protecting you? Maybe a supportive mentor? Because if you have never experience anything horrible and believe me this has not been the only thing that has happened to me you are very lucky. I have had my work stolen, credit given to someone else, lied about and boss believed them, habitually harassed, as well as have my job held over my head. I'll give you focus on maturing. I hope you never have to experience what I had to. You couldn't take it. It looks like you have had it soft. Must be nice...

2 Replies

Anonymous

12/31/20 at 5:47PM UTC

Those are some major assumptions you are making. The fact that you think that because I know how to let things go or focus on things that are important means I have had it easy. You need professional help for your anger. Most people have faced adversity in their working career but most people also don't hold on to negativity for years and years. Hatred and anger make you age prematurely and become bitter and petty.

1 Reply

Anonymous

01/03/21 at 5:03PM UTC

You REALLY need to stop being as rude as you've been in your comments. Your experience is not the sum total of the world's experience. I'm sorry you've worked for bad bosses and bad companies, but there is absolutely NO REASON for you to be insulting to other people for not having had your experiences. You've leveled some serious accusations and assumptions here and you are so far beyond out of line. With all due respect, if you are unable to stop being as rude as you've been, you need to stop responding to this post.

Bev Wooten, MBA

Global Treasury & Banking

12/29/20 at 8:38PM UTC

This is a common & valid question for many of us - I agree with not sharing the new company's name - at least not just yet. Consider allowing yourself time to actually "Start & Get settled in your new position" before sharing/posting the new company. Be very professional during your last 2 weeks, and

1 Reply

Bev Wooten, MBA

Global Treasury & Banking

12/29/20 at 8:39PM UTC

make it less about the "boss" and more about your new future. Congrats!!

Anonymous

12/29/20 at 8:49PM UTC

I would highly recommend that you do not reveal your new employer to anyone until you are there. People do lots of crazy things in jealousy.....

Anonymous

12/30/20 at 1:41PM UTC

Of course it's ok to not tell people where you're going. Why would you think you couldn't?

1 Reply

Anonymous

12/31/20 at 3:03AM UTC

Everyone else who left (except 2) out of around 15-20 people revealed where they were going. Yes, we had very high attrition.

2 Replies

Anonymous

01/02/21 at 3:59PM UTC

The fact that many people have left the company will say more than "the boss" ever could. As a hiring manager who pays attention to what's going on in my industry, there are certain places and managers to whom I pay zero attention because I know reality is going to be precisely the opposite of what they claim.

Anonymous

01/03/21 at 5:11PM UTC

And that was THEIR choice. You are in no way required to tell people where you're going. If anyone asks, simply smile and say, "I prefer not to share that information." If you encounter people who don't take no for an answer, change your response to "Why do you need to know?" It's ok to be firm. With people who push your boundaries, it's ok to be direct, even a little rude - since their lack of respect for you & your boundaries is much ruder than you telling them no.

Micole Garatti

141

Marketing, Writing, and Recruiting

12/30/20 at 4:27PM UTC

You definitely don't need to reveal your new employer to your old one. You really don't owe them an explanation at all! If anything, you can simply say "I have an opportunity too good to pass up and my last day here will be X. It's been a pleasure!" It's possible that they won't make you work until the last day, either. Good luck in your new position!

Sweet Caroline

2.77k

12/30/20 at 5:24PM UTC

You are not required to tell them where you are going as long as you are with any non compete/confidential requirements and not subject to garden leave or similar. It is also smart to avoid mentioning anything negative in your exit interview. Exit interviews are not really used the way people think they are, HR will not investigate your claims or censor your boss, they will likely to make a note to never re-hire you or limit references to dates of employment.

Anonymous

12/30/20 at 5:36PM UTC

When I gave my notice I refused to tell my boss where I was going. I just said somewhere different. He was horrible and the reason I left a job after enjoying it for over 18 years. It's true people leave bosses, not jobs. It killed him to not know and would ask everyone where I was going and no one would tell (no one liked this boss so it was easy for my peers to just say they did not know all while cheering for me as I got out of a very toxic situation). It was the first time that I had felt good about my job in over nine years....

Anonymous

12/30/20 at 10:15PM UTC

Lol she's probably just as frightened of you sharing stories about the nightmare she is with others who don't know her well.

Mary Brodie

187

I help companies build customer relationships

12/31/20 at 2:01PM UTC

When I got a new position and was working for a toxic idiot, I never told them where I was going to work. I'd describe the job, but it is none of their business. Our work colleagues are not our friends unless they earn it. She earned nothing.

Anonymous

01/01/21 at 3:02PM UTC

I got away from someone like this recently-- like many others here, my bully was a female boss who wasn't supportive. More success = more problems with her. She wanted me out of her way and after several months of bullying, she got it. I took a transfer within the department, so I couldn't keep it secret and she found out where I was headed immediately. So far, I don't think she has been able to do anything to sabotage me. I still watch my back, though. You really never know what some people will do. Angry, insecure people are unpredictable. My former boss has a competitive streak. I often likened her to Tonya Harding. Things don't go her way, she'll whack your knees. Rather than saying, thanks for doing a great job and making our section shine, she finds ways to out-do her own reports even if it means undermining them or flat-out cutting out good opportunities.

User edited comment on 01/01/21 at 3:07PM UTC

Joanna Poe

227

01/02/21 at 2:40PM UTC

You're not obligated to tell them anything, not even that you are leaving for another opportunity. Many of the things we do because 'it's expected' are not rules, and can be discarded without regret if the situation warrants it.

Diane Ehramjian

01/02/21 at 3:13PM UTC

I once had a co-worker who did a fantastic job. When she gave her notice, the only thing she would say to anyone who asked was "It's time for a change". No matter how hard she was pressed by our co-workers to agree it was her new boss, or drag her into a gossip session to share their complaints, she stood strong and with a smile would say, something along the lines of 'how sad or difficult that must be for you, I'm sure you'll figure something out." She never cracked, always stayed positive and when pushed would only say, how much she had enjoyed working with us and it taught her so much for which she would be forever grateful. She said she was excited for the new opportunity and it was time for a change. No details, no bad mouthing the person we all knew drove her to it. She didn't have to confirm our suspicions, and nobody was ever able to quote her saying less than complimentary things about her new boss. It was classy and effective. I've always adimired her for being kind enough to stay professional. People will think what they want. If you must share something in an exit interview, perhaps just explain how much you enjoyed and thrived professionally with your original boss, how much you learned, admired and enjoyed working for them. You can either say you just don't see the same opportunities for growth with the new 'leadership', or explain that much as you have loved your time with the company thus far, your original boss' departure has given you cause to evaluate the future and new team dynamic and you feel it's time for a change. Stay classy and upbeat by praising your original boss. They will put the pieces together soon enough. Losing an excellent employee who has shown potential for growth, is expensive. Let them hear the complaints from your co-workers and the praise of boss 1 from you. If the company is as good as you say, don't burn that bridge. When boss 2 fails to measure up, you may find an opportunity to come back. Best of luck and congrats on your new role!

Terry Martin

01/02/21 at 3:39PM UTC

Good luck in your new place of employment. Leave those old habits and reactions behind. They say if you use old bricks to build your new house you will just have your old house...There are laws in place - look up your State, Keep your info private, you can contact people after you are situated. Stop giving this person any power over you, being stagnant for 20 years tells me she is petty and unimportant - so move on smartly and enjoy your freedom - make it work for you!! Doc