Good luck in your new place of employment. Leave those old habits and reactions behind. They say if you use old bricks to build your new house you will just have your old house...There are laws in place - look up your State, Keep your info private, you can contact people after you are situated. Stop giving this person any power over you, being stagnant for 20 years tells me she is petty and unimportant - so move on smartly and enjoy your freedom - make it work for you!! Doc

I once had a co-worker who did a fantastic job. When she gave her notice, the only thing she would say to anyone who asked was "It's time for a change". No matter how hard she was pressed by our co-workers to agree it was her new boss, or drag her into a gossip session to share their complaints, she stood strong and with a smile would say, something along the lines of 'how sad or difficult that must be for you, I'm sure you'll figure something out." She never cracked, always stayed positive and when pushed would only say, how much she had enjoyed working with us and it taught her so much for which she would be forever grateful. She said she was excited for the new opportunity and it was time for a change. No details, no bad mouthing the person we all knew drove her to it. She didn't have to confirm our suspicions, and nobody was ever able to quote her saying less than complimentary things about her new boss. It was classy and effective. I've always adimired her for being kind enough to stay professional. People will think what they want. If you must share something in an exit interview, perhaps just explain how much you enjoyed and thrived professionally with your original boss, how much you learned, admired and enjoyed working for them. You can either say you just don't see the same opportunities for growth with the new 'leadership', or explain that much as you have loved your time with the company thus far, your original boss' departure has given you cause to evaluate the future and new team dynamic and you feel it's time for a change. Stay classy and upbeat by praising your original boss. They will put the pieces together soon enough. Losing an excellent employee who has shown potential for growth, is expensive. Let them hear the complaints from your co-workers and the praise of boss 1 from you. If the company is as good as you say, don't burn that bridge. When boss 2 fails to measure up, you may find an opportunity to come back. Best of luck and congrats on your new role!

You're not obligated to tell them anything, not even that you are leaving for another opportunity. Many of the things we do because 'it's expected' are not rules, and can be discarded without regret if the situation warrants it.

I got away from someone like this recently-- like many others here, my bully was a female boss who wasn't supportive. More success = more problems with her. She wanted me out of her way and after several months of bullying, she got it. I took a transfer within the department, so I couldn't keep it secret and she found out where I was headed immediately. So far, I don't think she has been able to do anything to sabotage me. I still watch my back, though. You really never know what some people will do. Angry, insecure people are unpredictable. My former boss has a competitive streak. I often likened her to Tonya Harding. Things don't go her way, she'll whack your knees. Rather than saying, thanks for doing a great job and making our section shine, she finds ways to out-do her own reports even if it means undermining them or flat-out cutting out good opportunities.

When I got a new position and was working for a toxic idiot, I never told them where I was going to work. I'd describe the job, but it is none of their business. Our work colleagues are not our friends unless they earn it. She earned nothing.

Lol she's probably just as frightened of you sharing stories about the nightmare she is with others who don't know her well.

When I gave my notice I refused to tell my boss where I was going. I just said somewhere different. He was horrible and the reason I left a job after enjoying it for over 18 years. It's true people leave bosses, not jobs. It killed him to not know and would ask everyone where I was going and no one would tell (no one liked this boss so it was easy for my peers to just say they did not know all while cheering for me as I got out of a very toxic situation). It was the first time that I had felt good about my job in over nine years....

You are not required to tell them where you are going as long as you are with any non compete/confidential requirements and not subject to garden leave or similar. It is also smart to avoid mentioning anything negative in your exit interview. Exit interviews are not really used the way people think they are, HR will not investigate your claims or censor your boss, they will likely to make a note to never re-hire you or limit references to dates of employment.

You definitely don't need to reveal your new employer to your old one. You really don't owe them an explanation at all! If anything, you can simply say "I have an opportunity too good to pass up and my last day here will be X. It's been a pleasure!" It's possible that they won't make you work until the last day, either. Good luck in your new position!

Of course it's ok to not tell people where you're going. Why would you think you couldn't?