Feeling excited and guilty

Once you break the cycle of negative feedback in your mind, you can create a positive environment in your surroundings. Let the good things happen.

I am bothering a recruiter who has ghosted me so many times I cannot remember all of them. Maybe one of these times something will work out. We were supposed to speak tomorrow at 10am, now it is 1030. We shall see! Good luck to all job seekers!

I saw someone post a Google document for all the different types of positions! It made me think to leave a doc that I am in, too, which is all remote positions that are updated every month! https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1IUUwdEw0RjTftvJv3LTA-7XIICaufCB1-7hmSVmzP28/mobilebasic?pli=1&usp=gmail_thread

I've been searching for a new job for the past two years. I am a senior-level program manager with more than 25 years of experience. I've posted my resume on LinkedIn, Dice, Indeed, Monster, Careerbuilder, Glassdoor, you name it. In the two year span, I've had about four interviews. Three have gone to the second or even third round just to be told I was not selected, or never to hear from them again. Some of the interviews have gone well. I never get a reason for the no. I recently had a recruiter call me and say he was sending over a job, but he never sent it. That happened a few times after a phone call. I know you're thinking, 'Is it possible that I'm not professional over the phone?' I assure you that is not the case. I worked for many years as a receptionist, answering the phone and providing customer support. I've updated my resume as asked by multiple recruiters, I've used the AI tools recommended by LinkedIn. The only thing I have not done and refuse to do is pay $5000K to hire someone to find me a job. If I am looking for a job, I can't imagine spending money to get money. Maybe if the salary I am after was $500K or more, but I am not there yet. I thought it had something to do with the salary or the rate, but I am asking the market rate for my experience and the role. At this point, I honestly believe it has to do with my race. I've watched other PMs with less experience, from the same companies I've worked for, who I trained, get jobs. I am happy for them of course but there is no reason for me to be sending my resume to the recruiters and not even hearing back at all or not getting one offer. We never want to believe race has anything to do with it, but I had more luck when I removed my picture from LinkedIn, and I did not answer my phone, but forced recruiters to email me. But then came the video call, and I never heard from them again. I am not sure what I am doing wrong or what is wrong with my resume. This has become so frustrating. I am not at the age to retire but I am ready to give up. I love what I do. Support customers, teams, delivery all of it, but I cannot keep trying and adjusting for a world that refuses to accept me.

I had an issue come up recently where a consultant, and former colleague of our CEO, made an inappropriate and insulting comment to me on a call. I offered to share a study to help his brand and his response was "See , you do have some helpful knowledge in that brain of yours." I felt it was demeaning and obviously insulting my intelligence, especially in front of two other coworkers. I went to HR after a week of deliberating what I should do, confront the person on my own or have HR deal with it. He had done some other passive aggressive actions around the call which made me feel I did not owe him a 1:1 discussion. But after speaking with HR her response was, "how would you like me to deal with it." Because the person is a contractor I asked her how should this be delt with? I didn't get a real answer outside of she will talk to him and it's up to me if I talk to him first. I guess my question is, how should this be dealt with? Our HRBP is a team of one and tends to avoid responsibilities, is this one of those cases?

I had a phone interview for an HVAC company not too far from where I live last week on Tuesday for an Installation Admin Specialist. I came across their job posting on Indeed and followed the directions on how to apply. Basically I emailed them that I was interested and attached my email to the address provided. I get a response later that day saying they are interested in interviewing me, and they gave me a call after work because they mentioned that the position is very competitive. The interview went well, even though I did not have experience working at an HVAC company, I was willing to learn new skills. It's been a week and I haven't heard anything. I emailed them yesterday (Monday) asking if there were any updates. I haven't received a response unfortunately. I've been looking for another job for so long and I'm just fed up.