My director is a nightmare.
Send Help.
Let me start this with yes, my director is a woman.
I've been with my company for 3 years now, 2 years previously I was an IC and just over a year ago I was picked and promoted onto another team under the same VP to manage a team of 5. I got a new director at that time but I was excited for the new opportunity.
I had managed people in previous companies so was excited to get to be in this role once again.
The first 6 months I learned the lay of the land, the new role, the new team, how my company likes to manage others. I started to learn the team I was managing and their personalities.
After 6 months the great resignation hit my organization and people started to jump ship. I also realized through exit interviews that some of the people reporting to me did not want a manager, they had enjoyed more of the autonomy they had before my role was created. Good feedback I've taken into how I have hired and managed my new team. Ultimately though, I am the lead so I made a point to bring in people who understood that there was going to be some oversight (that is my job) lol.
So I spent the second 6 months in my role juggling the entire team, basically 5 roles all on me while hiring and interviewing new people to replace the team I lost. Honest it was a lot but it forced me to learn quickly and I was able to hire a team I am confident in. I survived and in March I got a glowing performance review, saying how I never let it show that my team was down people, and how well my team ran during a time of complete chaos.
Now fast forward to 3 weeks ago, everything is going well and I get pulled onto a meeting I have no context for (this is not abnormal at our company so I roll with it). After the meeting I mention to my boss about it later that day saying "I was pulled onto this meeting but no real idea why I was there, didn't seem like I was needed" to which I basically get yelled at like a child of 'if you didn't know why you were there why didn't you ask someone or ask me' My immediate response was that this isn't uncommon for me to be in a meeting I'm really not needed in, and in a group of 15-20 managers I didn't feel comfortable being like "hey why am I here guys" when they seemed to have it handled. I figured maybe it was just informational. Apparently I'm a huge screw up, I should have inserted myself more and now all the sudden I have no handle on my job and what I am doing. Ugh!
So here we are, for the last 3 weeks my director is making my life a living hell - she now is criticizing every little thing I do, telling me how everyone thinks I'm a screw up (yes she said "I am getting feedback that people have no confidence in you and that you don't have a handle on your role after a whole year") when I know its just her clearly that thinks this.
She is going out of her way to be cruel saying "I am getting multiple complaints and even your reports think you are chaotic and disorganized" which couldn't be further from the truth, at one point my director called me a workaholic who can't delegate when I said "ok I'll handle it" to the disorganized comment.
The last straw was yesterday she basically came at me with "I gathered some more feedback on your performance" in which it was all petty criticizing, and when I just smiled through it (because arguing gets me nowhere and disagreeing seems to be what she is looking for) she goes "I thought you'd care more how people are seeing your work and how people are perceiving you" then she says "we really need a plan on how you are going to turn things around" to which I asked her for coaching/suggestions/basically anything and I got (and this is a direct quote) "do you even want to work on these things or are you going to look for another job?" WHAT?
I have been working my butt off for the past year, drowning to keep this team afloat as a one-man show and now I get a "could you just leave please" or so that is how I took it. I feel like she is annoyed at this one incident and trying to push me out and it would be 10x easier if I leave vs her trying to tell HR I am a workaholic (as she puts it) and doing too good a job (because I don't believe half of the feedback she says she's getting anymore). If I was really this embarrassing and a royal screw up wouldn't she take more action to put me on a plan, or give me steps to start addressing things immediately? If everyone I work with was seriously voicing concerns and giving so much feedback why am I still not put on a performance plan? And why last month did I get a glowing performance review if I am so terrible? Something doesn't make sense and I'm at a loss. Any feedback on what to do is soooo greatly appreciated. I feel like I am at a loss and maybe its best to cut and run but I worked really hard for this role and it makes me sad to just have it ruined by her bad managing style suddenly. Thank you if you got to this point in my story - you are rockstars!
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