Being "ugly" on the job

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Ehryn Kramer

109

Freelance small retail market consultant

11/17/20 at 12:42AM UTC

Style & Beauty

Being "ugly" on the job

Has anyone experienced favoritism to employees who look better, without having any work based merit ?

9 Comments

Anonymous

11/17/20 at 12:59AM UTC

Absolutely. Depending on the company, pointing it out may or may not make a difference. if the company is open to feedback or has an anonymous feedback box, then the input may be welcome. However if it does not, then it may look as though one is lashing out for not receiving a promotion for example. I would move forward with caution and do what you think is right without jeopardizing your position.

Anonymous

11/17/20 at 2:23AM UTC

Yes, plenty of times. Opportunity for you to work smarter and harder than those who are favored. You can outshine them on your hustle.

Anonymous

11/17/20 at 2:41AM UTC

Actually the extremely social types are the ones that seem to get preferential treatment. Looks never factored into the jobs that I was at.

Mandy Trouten

740

Everything at www.mariese-skincare.com

11/17/20 at 3:41AM UTC

This is essentially the way it's been for years. An individual manager may favor someone s/he deems more physically attractive, people of a particular skin color or gender, and/or people that s/he personally likes hanging out with. I once had a fast food shift manager look at me with barely veiled contempt and tell me that they weren't hiring--after the store manager had specifically suggested that I apply, because they were hiring. As it turns out, that shift manager "only" hired attractive, broad-shoulder, narrow-waisted male teenagers and attractive slender female teenagers. I was an overweight college student who isn't ugly, but won't be walking on Runway in the near future. I wasn't even applying for her shift, and she was trying to block me. Sucks for her... Later in the week, I talked to the store manager and verified that they were hiring, then told him what happened. I got hired. That was just there, and they had other issues. Race, gender, and personal preferences for hanging out factored into management behaviors in later jobs.

1 Reply

Ehryn Kramer

109

Freelance small retail market consultant

11/17/20 at 4:23PM UTC

Funny when I bring this up to my colleagues and counselors, I'm often gaslighted as if I'm literally not observating this myself. It got so bad that I've contemplated videotaping the front of house to document the narrow demographic hiring criteria. Age and color discrimination is illegal. I was told that "I'm seeing things", and that there was "something wrong with me" for which recruiters are repulsed by. By the way, I am THIN with a model and athletic build, however have an orthodontal deformity, that doesn't look like a typical deformity but definitely makes me hard to look at from every racial perspective. Most service jobs that have front of house, almost always hire young, baby faced teens at least nowadays.

User edited comment on 11/17/20 at 4:24PM UTC

1 Reply

Mandy Trouten

740

Everything at www.mariese-skincare.com

11/18/20 at 7:18AM UTC

I'm unclear on what a dental problem has to do with racial perspectives; but, to the rest, I can only say that, in practice, things are only illegal if you can prove they happened. Yeah, it's illegal to refuse to hire someone because of their age, color, gender, religion, racial background, or the presence of a disability; but, in practice, that just means that hiring managers have to be careful not to indicate that they're refusing to hire you for those reasons. Instead, they'll just say that they're not hiring, but will keep your resume on file for future openings; that you're over-qualified for the position; that you're underqualified for the position; that you don't have the specific technical qualifications that they're looking for; that your portfolio isn't exactly what they're looking for; etc. The fact that virtually everyone they do hire fits within a very narrow scope is just coincidence... Likewise, societally speaking, denial is a powerful motivator. Sure, we know that discrimination exists; but, people want to believe that it only exists in certain ways, in certain areas, from only certain races/genders, against only certain races/genders, that the non-violent/not-extremely-hostile forms were imagined or made up, and that the violent/hostile forms were fake/provoked. It would be nice if more people would recognize that both employees and customers can be discriminatory and/or general a**holes, which includes the ability of the occasional individual to behave in ways that said people never would or like to believe that they never would.

1 Reply

Ehryn Kramer

109

Freelance small retail market consultant

11/18/20 at 7:32AM UTC

Yes. You covered it all. Before I seen this site, I thought I was imagining things. For clarity, my deformity is more common in types of races so much that it can be regarded as normal as just assumed ugliness. It's so bad that I need surgery. I dont even see the feature in my own family. Thanks for the insight. I wish I could find more people who observe what you observe

Anonymous

11/17/20 at 4:48AM UTC

Yes.

Amelia Wysocki

Content Creation & Advertising For All

11/21/20 at 5:04AM UTC

Sadly, yes. I have. I'm a trans woman (pre-hormones). Without being all made up, I'm nothing much to look at, especially when people see my photo and expect me to look this way all the time.