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Catherine Harrison
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111
08/07/20 at 4:16PM UTC (Edited)
in
Career

4 phrases that make you sound like a bad boss (and what to say instead)

How you speak to your your employees can make all the difference not only in your relationships, but also in their effort and dedication. Here are a few phrases —that may seem like workplace norms — that bad bosses say and what to say instead. 1. What you're saying: We've always done it this way. What to say instead: We've never tried that before. What would you need to make this happen? It's comforting to stay where we are and do things we've always done. But if your employee wants to try something new and you keep shutting them down with this excuse, you're denying them the chance to make real change in your company. 2. What you're saying: I'll keep your suggestion in mind. What to say instead: Thank you for the feedback. What would be your next steps? This phrase is coded for "I'll never think of this again" and almost everyone knows it. You should always be open to feedback, and if you're not going to take action right away, make sure you'll be able to refer to this feedback in the future. 3. What you're saying: Just get it done. What to say instead: Can you get this completed by [certain time]? Do you need any other resources? When we're stressing to get something done, it can be easy to push our employees away and just hope they get their part time. Yet when we do this, we might leave them struggling. Use this as an opportunity to check in and ensure they'll get the job done right. 4. What you're saying: Don't mess this up. What to say instead: This is important, and I want to make sure we can do it right. Like "just get it done," instilling fear in your employees to get something right isn't a supportive tactic — and it's more likely to cause mistakes! Instead, offer help if your employee needs it and check in with guidance, not scare tactics. What other common phrases make managers should like bad bosses? Have you used any of them before? What did you learn to say instead?

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Liz
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36
Manufacturing Leadership Coach
08/12/20 at 7:52PM UTC
Bosses that say "Just get it done", never really understand the unintended consequenses of their words. I've seen people cut all kinds of corners to "get the job done", and they feel justified, because the boss said so. These 4 words should never be used by a boss, they can endanger employees and can harm the company's reputation. If you are a boss, and you feel time pressured to complete a job, seek first to understand why the job is taking longer than planned. Listen to your team, work together to find solutions. If you find that the timeline is impossible, then you are prepared to talk to your boss to advocate for solutions and resources. I've used this approach successfully in my career.
Amy Bucciferro
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167
Consulting is my profession, equality my passion
08/12/20 at 12:45PM UTC
“You know where I stand on...” Making assumptions as a leader that your opinion is known can be a fault. Make your position and values clear even if it feels repetitive. If something related is coming up in conversation then the employee may not really know where you stand on the issue.
Anne Knox
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322
CMP
08/12/20 at 12:12AM UTC
A string of jargon that are overused and don't mean anything makes me tune out. : Think outside the box, leverage, value add, deep dive, move the needle, pulse check....excuse me I stopped listening to myself
Karisa Karmali
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2.13k
Founder of Self-Love and Fitness
08/11/20 at 9PM UTC
Having someone cut me off mid-sentence and act like they know what I am about to say; poor listening skills; arrogance.
Anonymous
08/11/20 at 12:24PM UTC
I am constantly being told not to listen to anyone else (only my boss,) It becomes very difficult when what he tells you does not align with HO directives and values. Lots of talk but not alot of walking the talk. He could advise that we have tried other methods and his proposal has shown to be most affective. The latter is not as egotistical.
Claudia Alvarado-Sasse (she/her)
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32
Family Advocate in San Diego, CA
08/10/20 at 11:14PM UTC
This article reminded me of one of my bosses whom I learned so much from. A common theme I noticed in the suggestion was asking the employee to elaborate more on their plans/visions/ideas. My boss challenged me to do most of the talking, not only did I feel heard but it allowed me to plan and process and be accountable for my feedback. I took this to heart when I became supervisor and thanks to this approach my team was invested and engaged and they came up with some AMAZING ideas I would have never thought of on my own, which had made our program strong and diverse.
NYCsales
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71
08/10/20 at 2:08PM UTC
Actually if I were a manager I would totally embrace asking the person coming to me to tell me what they thought their next steps should be. It has been my experience that people come up with what they think is a great idea, haven’t thought of the next steps or implications and want the manager to implement their solution as they stand by on the sidelines. Excellent as a manager not to dismiss. Even better to ask the employee to come up with a well thought out solution. I did it that way and sadly so few ever came back beyond the initial meeting.
User deleted comment on 08/10/20 at 1:16PM UTC
Laurie J Wiedl, Ph.D.
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42
Take the time to do it right the first time.
08/10/20 at 1:02PM UTC
I've actually heard all 4 from managers in the same company. The local site leaders had had success operating the same way for quite a long time, as they moved up in the company. For new people who didn"t "grow up" in the company, this appeared as complacency and resistance to change. Many times, it was a matter of no experience in a new area or way of thinking. There was a desire to change, but group thinking ruled. Another situation where flexible, innovative talent moved to other opportunities leaving the "just like us" people in place. It's sad when people are so afraid of doing something different or failing, that they are unable to grow.
Julie Mates
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32
Senior R&D Manager in New Jersey
08/07/20 at 9:33PM UTC
Curious if bosses are still saying these phrases. Would love to hear if your boss is one of them.
Kimberly Moon
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603
Clinical Research Professional
08/12/20 at 5:22PM UTC
I have heard #1 and #3 consistently throughout my career. This is great advice with great alternatives! :)
Anonymous
08/10/20 at 12:39PM UTC
I had a boss who said #1 regularly. She was just mimicking the rest of the company though...it was a 30-year-old company, she'd been there 20+ years, and they'd had great success doing things a certain way. At the time I was just glad to have a job (I was in my late-40s when I was hired) and (in most cases) I decided this wasn't a hill I was going to die on. However, there's a lot of good talent that was lost because of that resistance to change, not just in my department but in other departments as well. Needless to say our company was bought by a larger company and a lot of those people were let go, including her.

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