I just need a place to vent.
I was let go a few months back, after having gotten Covid myself and having a really rough time recovering from it. Like a lot of other people I am struggling to find work and make ends meet.
Covid really wrecked me - I strained the muscles in my back and abs so bad I couldn't sit up after dry coughing for 3 months, I lost my sense of taste and smell for nearly the whole time I was coughing, and I was so weak that I couldn't even walk up to my apartment without stopping to sit down even after I was deemed 'better' by doctors.
I actually did have 6 months worth of an emergency fund saved up, but that's all gone now, and I have $1000 left to my name. I foolishly thought I'd get a job sooner, but I didn't after months of trying and either being rejected, having the job be put on hold as the company started to suffer from the effects of Covid, or had companies offer me such low-ball offers that it wouldn't make ends meet regardless.
Unemployment is backed up for months, and my employer decided to try to fight my right to unemployment, which means the process is now going to take even longer, even though the state themselves said they find it hard to believe that the company is trying to contest anything given it's Covid, and I have clear evidence in emails from the company that I am eligible for unemployment.
I have no other options, I can't take out out a personal loan because I don't have any family, I have too many student loans still withstanding, and with Covid banks are being more strict about who they give out loans too.
I'm flat out on my wits end. I was orphaned really young, I had a job since I was 11 so I could eat and get to school. But I never felt afraid of not being able to survive because I knew I could always find work either as a server or otherwise. This is truly the first time in my life that I am actually terrified of being homeless. In college I slept in my car, but I didn't care as I had done it on camping trips before. Now it's December, my last family member that I did have that would have helped me, my grandmother, died last year, and I literally have no one who can help me. My best friend died from a freak heart attack a few years ago, and I dumped my boyfriend of 7 years this past September after he did 2 years of deployment, and basically told me he had thoughts of hurting himself, and taking me with him...
My landlord, even though I've paying on time every time since I moved in nearly 3 years ago, is not an understanding person. She either wants rent all at once, or get out. I can't make a deal with her to pay half now and then half later on, which is just adding to the stress... I am having to choose between food and my rent at this point, and unless I get unemployment soon, I am going to be out on the street.
I feel absolutely hopeless.