Someone I really respected and who is a leader at my organization used to act like she really valued my hard work and attention to detail (my job involves a lot writing), and she has even gone so far as to say I was a friend (I wouldn’t go that far, but we had a good thing!) — but she has started acting differently lately.
Since last March when we started working remotely because of COVID, I found myself interacting with her less and less, but she would always check in with me to see how I was and say she missed seeing me in person — but the past couple weeks I’ve noticed in meetings she barely acknowledges me and today she really embarrassed me by pointing out all the “important people” on a call to someone we were meeting and left me off that list — there were only a few of us on that call.
I confided in someone and it was mentioned that this person is just very absentminded and maybe didn’t notice she left me out, but even so... this is basically a boss, someone I work very hard for and have stayed up nights and weekends to meet deadlines for, and to be forgotten like that... with my face on the screen. I’m hurt. I can’t imagine she did it on purpose, and she doesn’t seem mean spirited but I can’t get over it today. I feel humiliated and my motivation was like instantly shot.
Nothing has happened between us, I haven’t done anything wrong at work — if anything I’ve been working around the clock (which I need to stop) and I think I’ve been doing an excellent job. I have meetings with her the rest of the week and I don’t know what to do. It took great acting skills not to just flat out cry in that last meeting on camera while meeting someone new (and quite a big shot I’ll be continuing to work with) — I can’t believe I managed to smile through it, but that doesn’t seem like the right thing to do either.
Anyone have any thoughts? This seems extreme, but I feel so hurt by this I want to look for new jobs. This isn’t the only reason I want to look elsewhere, but it was certainly like a last straw for me. Even if it wasn’t on purpose, that’s almost just as bad... it made me feel like I wasn’t valued. I know I am by most people I work with and for, but that stung...
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SDET Career Advice
Is anyone here an SDET? If so, would you be open to your experience and how you started in the role, what the quality of life is for the position, etc.?
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I need help on how to deal with an all boy's club at work.
I've been at this new job nine months and I like it and want to stay. I've been told I'm doing a good job and am about six months away from being promoted to where I want to be. The two men who I answer to play golf with some of my other male colleagues, make deals without my knowledge with outside males that affect me in my job, accept lots of sports perks from these outside men, and you get the idea. I'm increasingly frustrated because I am too old for this crap and I am over here working my ass off to get ahead when I think they are just getting ahead by playing and watching sports together. Please don't suggest HR or talking to a female colleague - I just want to know how to deal with my anger about it. Thank you!! ?
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Working from home may be ending?
Curious how to approach this (and this got long, sorry). We were sent home like so many in March of 2020. Our business has changed quite radically since then (selling off part of it, selling the building we were in and leasing a small part of it, etc.). Some people have come back into the office, some have not. It seemed like that was how we were going to continue. There was no indication anything might change. Especially considering there is not enough space for everyone.
But then they just sent out a "return to work/hyrbid" something or other message where they want people to start coming back for a more "collaborative environment" (I believe this is business speak for "we want to make use of the office space we're leasing"). Only thing is no one gets their own space. You have to reserve a desk. Which means hauling everything in and out again every day you're there. It's unclear if they expect us to come back every day or not.
That being said...no. I do not want to go back. They indicated SOME people are unhappy. So let them go in, right? They have hired many people who are scattered throughout the country who will never go into an office, so they're really just saying "you happen to be near an office, so you get to uproot your entire life to be dragged into the office."
How do I go about refusing to return? I have some physical issues that make working from home easier (I am hard of hearing and find it super distracting to be in the office because I have to concentrate very hard to hear people on the phone, and I have tendonitis issues that mean having a bunch of specialized things like keyboards and stands and wrist rests). Couple that with the fact that my job involves communicating with remote technicians, none of who are in the office ever as they live hours away from it. So going in changes nothing for me except to make me miserable and take away the work/life balance I have managed to achieve by working from home. Including starting a side business that often means being out on the weekend (photography) and I only do that because I'm home during the week and so see my husband and dogs all day.
My manager agrees I shouldn't have to go in. So do I just let this quietly slide until someone says something and then tell them my manager approves? I'm just not sure the best way to go about this. I don't want to lose my job. But I also cannot go back to an office permanently. The thought of it makes me physically ill. I will resign before being forced back. I have been with the company a long time and so may have SOME leverage as I am the only one who works in my position and I know more about the company and how things work than most people.
As you can imagine, I am feeling angry and betrayed by the company. More than once I've mentioned how happy I am that they've continued to let us work from home and then THIS.
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I recently joined a company and appreciated my direct reports honesty regarding the situation.
I've tried making changes but SLT blocks me at every turn.
One of my favorite reports announced she's leaving and it would take 3 employees to match everything she's doing. I completely understand why she's leaving, wish her the best but it puts me in a difficult spot.
HR and SLT are not concerned about replacing her any time soon and I feel like the department is crumbling. As its lead I feel powerless to change things. I even suggested using some of the budget for support staff or interns and they refused.
I feel like I'm being set up for failure. I've spoken directly with HR, SLT team, heads of the company and they won't approve any new hires but three people left before I started and they didn't replace them. It's not new hires it's filling the gaps of an already small team that the rest are ready to leave. Do I need to move on and will applying for positions so early after I started be considered a red flag?
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What are some tips for first time leadership opportunities?
I work at a non-profit in program development/education. I had a bad case of comparing myself to my coworker who has more popular programs/events and is given outside leadership opportunities. And I want to show that I can lead in a mission driven way that will show off my skills/talents. But now a leadership opportunity came up. My department restructured ,and we work on a committee system now. I am excited but realized that this is first time I’m in an official leading position. I have managed interns in my previous position and the ones before didn’t give me an opportunity to lead. My big boss wants me to display my leadership skills, but after being in jobs where I had to suppress myself or invisible, I’m a little apprehensive.
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I was interviewed for a promotion at the end of March. I was told they would have an answer by April 31. My manager told me and most in the warehouse I was the new manager. I was being congratulated for a few weeks. My reply was simple thank you but I haven't heard anything. Well we are into June. I have been carrying the weight of this same department manager for almost a year and I'm tired this was one reason I wanted out of the department. I have been offered a position at a new company and I don't know if I should ask upper management if they made a decision or just resign. I'm told upper management wants me to be promoted but they don't want to upset operations because he has a friend he wants to be promoted.
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