icon
Home icon

Home

Jobs icon

Jobs

Reviews icon

Reviews

Network icon

Network

Resources icon

Resources

|For Employers icon

For Employers

logo
about
careers
FAQs
privacy policyterms & conditionsfor employers
112k
20k
icon
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
My ProfileMy MessagesMy NetworkMy SettingsGroupsEventsMy PostsLog Out
Mystery Woman
Tell us more for better jobs, advice
and connections
YOUR GROUPS
Discover and join groups with like-minded women who share your interests, profession, and lifestyle.
COMPANIES YOU FOLLOW
Get alerted when there are new employee reviews.
YOUR JOB ALERTS
Get notified when new jobs are posted.
Your post is published!
Anonymous
08/23/20 at 7:42PM UTC (Edited)
in
Career

My job is going terribly, but should I quit?

I’ve been having a terrible experience at my new job; it’s been almost 5 months, but feels like it’s been 2 years. My client raises his voice at his staff, has unclear and changing expectations, requires so much work that I always work late nights and through almost every weekend, and will complain to my boss about small things. My boss has been on my side but I worry about how long that will last given the frequency of this guy's complaints. Keep in mind, my 6-month review is still a month away! The conversation about how best to handle this client, responding to his complaints, etc., has been a conversation I’ve been having with my boss for more than 4 months now. While things have been on the upswing recently (as they have been before), overall I have no reason to think things will change, and I really have no interest in rescuing this situation. My confidence is shot and I’ve pretty much stopped taking care of myself—I used to love eating well and exercising, but those habits have evaporated. I have no appetite, I can barely get out of bed in the morning, and I’m almost nauseous when I open my email. There’s an FGB article about 18 (or however many) signs your job is taking over your identity…all but 1 of them were spot-on for me. A few weeks ago, I told my boss I don’t think this client and I are a good fit and that I’ve considered applying elsewhere (spoiler alert: I’ve already done that), but don’t want to leave the institution, as I do love its mission. He said that unfortunately there’s no other spot on his team and to give it another few months with this client. Well, on Friday I got a job offer to work for an agency. It would be an 11.5% pay increase, although they seem disorganized, they’re a bit pushy about when they “need” me to start, and there’s no guarantee it’ll actually be less work, and the work is a bit boring. But it would be getting away from this client. I do wonder, “will accepting this job offer get me closer to my goals?” but —and here’s the frightening thing—I don’t even know what my goals are anymore, or if I even want goals. I'm burnt out and at this point the possibility of making a good paycheck for boring work while having time for a life again is pretty appealing. I also don’t want to burn bridges with my boss, who offered me the job because my former boss (my mentor) gave him good feedback about me when I was in my old department. And I don’t want to burn bridges with her either. Has anyone encountered this sort of scenario before? How did you handle it?

Share

Join the conversation...
Kelli
star-svg
1.46k
Helps senior-level women make career changes
08/27/20 at 12:57PM UTC
I would love to chat with you more about this offline. I think I might be able to help you with the "what are my goals...do I even have them part"...my guess is getting this set would help significantly with the rest. If you're open to talking you can schedule some time on my calendar here: https://bit.ly/freecareeradviceconsult Just now, work doesn't have to be (and shouldn't be) like this.
Jenn McFatter, aPHR, CCFP
star-svg
65
Veterinary/HR Professional in Austin, TX
08/27/20 at 2:33AM UTC
I think based on what you've written, leaving is a good idea. However, this other offer sounds like a trap... in the sense that it's more money, but there are a lot of red flags so you may end up trying to deal with things just because of the salary increase. But your quality of life may still suffer! I would take your time in finding the next thing, leave on good terms with your boss so you have the relationship & reference. Look for something that presents better balance!
Janice Enoch
star-svg
81
Associate Director
08/26/20 at 12:55PM UTC
My advice is to sit down with your current manager and have an honest conversation about how things are going before accepting the other job. If you lay everything out in detail maybe he can make some adjustments to make things better. I wouldn't jump into the other job too quickly before trying to work it out in your existing job.
Colleen Martin
star-svg
23
Senior Sales and Reimbursement Consultant
08/26/20 at 12:05PM UTC
This is a tough situation because neither job sounds like your dream role. Have you taken some time to just imagine what your career looks 1, 5, and 10 years from now? Does one of these positions get you closer to that longer term goal? I know it’s hard in the moment to know what is best (been there and done that!) but try to envision how you want your life to be and maybe it will bring clarity to the best next step. I received advice years ago that businesses will always make choices that are best for their business. You need to make choices that are best for you. Good luck!!
Reneé Zung
star-svg
249
Career Consultant
08/26/20 at 12:04PM UTC
Switching jobs is never an easy choice. Before you move speak with your manager and understand the expectations of the role. Before you accept make sure that the culture is a fit while making more money is enticing, you don’t want to job hop and be miserable again. Once you have all the facts you can make an informed decision. Good luck
Wendy D
star-svg
38
Senior Hardware / Software Engineer
08/24/20 at 2:14AM UTC
Have you ever sat down with your boss to learn what expectations could be set ?
Barb Hansen
star-svg
6.65k
Startup Product, Growth & Strategy
08/24/20 at 1:05AM UTC
Your career path is YOUR career path. If your current job is untenable, then start looking for another job (which you are doing). Staying in a job that you don't like or even worse is hurting your confidence, or mental health because of someone else's feeling is not a good enough reason. A good manager will want you to be successful in life and if your previous manager thinks less of you because you moved on to another job, then they have never been in your corner and why do you care what someone who is not in your corner thinks of you.
Janelle
star-svg
118
08/23/20 at 11:44PM UTC
My advice is to switch to the new job that pays 11.5% more.
User deleted comment on 08/23/20 at 11:38PM UTC
Kim Callinan
star-svg
809
President & CEO of Nonprofit
08/23/20 at 11:12PM UTC
You sound pretty miserable at your old job, but you do want to be sure that you are not moving to something worse. At least right now, you have a supportive boss. Do you like the person you will be working directly for? Do you have any sense of the work life balance of others at the new job? Is there a way to find out? When you say the new company is being pushy about when you start, how much time will they give you? [If they want you to start right away and they know you have a job, that is definitely a red flag.] To not burn bridges you need to give 2 weeks notice, and it does not sound advisable for you to go from one job to another without at least a week break given how burned out you are feeling. I'd try to negotiate a month start date. I would also reach out to your mentor who helped you get your last job. You do not what her to be blind sided. Giving her a chance to advise you in this difficult situation will help ensure you don't upset her and will likely result in valuable advice. And finally, since your boss has been supportive, I would bring the dilmema to him and let him know that you are inclined to accept but that you don't want to leave him in a lurch given how supportive that he has been. But that you are concerned about your own mental health. Then listen to what he has to say. Sometimes in the face of losing somebody a company will come up with other options. Either way, he should understand just how unhappy you have been - it will help him know how to hire your replacement or it may be that he needs to set some boundaries with the client.

You're invited.

See what women are sharing on Fairygodboss.
What's new today
wand-button
Personalize your jobs
Get recommendations for recent and relevant jobs.
Employer Reviews
Weir ESCO
5.0
Weir ESCO is supportive, collaborative, and flexible work...
Twitter
3.7
The people at Twitter are great, super supportive and...
Recent Content
What is Re-Onboarding and is It Necessary in the Return to Work?
Here’s Your Daily Dose of Career Inspiration! 2 Women Share How They Grew Into Global Leaders
4 Phrases Confident Women Tell Themselves When They Don’t Get The Job They Dreamed Of
icon
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
  • about
  • careers
  • FAQs
  • privacy policy
  • terms & conditions
112k
20k