Unprofessional comments

Question

Hi, all. When I had to call off work to take care of my husband,  he fell, my manager made a comment that I felt was unprofessional. It was my second call off in as many months. She said, 'again, this seems to be an issue with you, doesn't it.' Maybe this job is not a good fit for you.' When my coworker wanted to go home early, she told her, ' you sure get sick a lot.' This was the second time in a year my coworker was using sick time.' It seems like she tries to bully us into staying. I dont know if I should confront her about this or not. Your thoughts on this please.

Anonymous · Answer

The comment isn't just unprofessional, it's a form of intimidation. Personal time off, sick leave, and vacation time off are all part of your benefits package. She's trying to actively discourage people who work under her from using their benefits when they need to. That's concerning. If it happens again I'd consult HR.

cms1234 · Answer

Ugh... what a rotten thing to experience.  Another answer?  'No, it's not an issue with me - at all.  I've actually only taken days allowed under our policy.  And, this request is because my husband fell and can't move.'   Your HR department must give days off for various personal reasons that can't be planned:  sick, family member hurt, etc.  In Massachusetts, you the Small Necessities Act to cover days like this.   Bottom line is your boss doesn't like people taking any time off.  Despises it.  I know the type.  Hold your head up, and just follow the leave policies.  Boss might be salty, but you're in compliance. Good luck!

Anonymous · Answer

That is concerning - and here is how I would handle it.  When you go to HR, ask them for guidance, ask them if maybe you're 'interpreting policies' and maybe missing something.  What I'm trying to say is 'play ignorant' and 'ask' - no one ever wins when you make it a problem with your manager.  Companies protect management.  Your goal is to fit in, be collaborative and make sure you're understanding.   Yes, I am ABSOLUTELY telling you to be political.  But if you think about it...when someone asks you to help understand something versus complaining, don't you feel better about the situation?  I promise you, it will create a perception that you're a committed, agreeable person who wants to be a successful employee.

Emily Gurney · Answer

I agree with the two above comments.  I believe by law a manager or boss is not allowed to ask you or give push back on you taking days off that you have.  If you get push back on it again I would go to HR.

Anonymous · Answer

Here I am going to suggest HR and reading the comments; it looks to be a pretty standard though. Bullying is unacceptable anywhere and don't let a manager do this to you. Even if they think they're being funny when saying it; it certainly is not. Take em to HR. I'd suggest radical feedback, but it sounds like this person is somewhat combative. I'd get HR involved before you potentially hurt your career by addressing it personally. You got this.

Elina Beck · Answer

If you are within the company parameters, then it is part of your compensation, and should be in the same category as making you feel bad about cashing your pay check.

Anonymous · Answer

Thank you, all. I appreciate your feedback and suggestions. The time off is within policy. We are allowed 4 sick days per year. My only problem is that hr is in South Carolina and I'm in California. I will reach out to them for clarification.   I think that would be my best action. The manager has been with the company for 20+ years, so I'm sure they will have her back as opposed to mine. I will address it as an inquiry,  to make sure I'm following policy.

Susan Morgan · Answer

Work through your HR.  If HR is not supportive, I would consider finding another place to work.

Madam anon663 · Answer

Don't forget though, HR works for the company, not you, so inform yourself of policies and be your own best advocate.

Dana Barnes · Answer

After reading your discussion, this does appear to be a form of bullying you are encountering in the workplace. If I were you, I would document what is being said by your manager and include the date and time it was said. Next, I would review the policies for sick time and vacation time. If you have questions regarding the policies, you should consult with the HR department at your employer.  You should also find out the proper channels for reporting your manager’s unprofessional behavior if you feel comfortable doing that.

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