Trapped

Finding a career that you love and enjoy is one of the hardest challenges that many young students go through day in day out. And I am one of those students. Since I was 12 I've been planning on being an attorney, I always said I wanted to help families through their hardships, whether that be immigration or civil rights or custody battles etc etc. How Naive was I to think that it would all be so simple? The stress of studying political science is hard enough for me, I find myself getting lost or bored with certain topics and other times I am completely engrossed in the concepts that are taught when studying political science. I think it's the pressure of coming from being the first child to show interest in school and that has realistic expectations as to say. But now I'm grown up and im actually studying politics and law and I'm questioning every thing. Like am I smart enough to pass the LSATS or can I get into Law School. Can I pass my bars? Can I handle the stress that comes with being an attorney? Have I wanted two years studying something that I'm not even sure if I love? Is there anything that I'm actually good at that can give mer a decent living? It's hard coming from a single parent whose only wish is that you become an attorney, the level of disappointment that I can imagine she would have wrecks me and I hate thinking that maybe she'll talk about me the same way that she talks about my college drop out brother or my defiant little brother. I don't think I could handle making her feel like she failed as a mother. But im also stuck with wanting to make myself happy because my biggest fear is that I'm going to have a job that pays well and gives me a great benefits and a great life. But I'll wake up every day regretting the day I was hired, that I'll wake up dreading stepping foot into my place of work. I have always compared myself to my friends who know exactly what they want to be, like all my nursing school friends who know that once they complete the program they can get a good paying job at a hospital with their BSN. I'm trapped. I ask myself a million questions a minute and I can never figure out an answer to tell myself. I just don't want to disappoint anyone and I don't want to disappoint myself but it feels like that's the path I'm heading down. If anyone who has studied political science or any liberal arts would give me some advice on career options that would help me in more ways than you would imagine.