My wildest quit-my-job story.

Question

I've left a few jobs over the course of my career and did so in pretty standard ways — except for one. The manager I was working under was BEYOND toxic — he would regularly gaslight me, take credit for my work, and undermine me in front of others. Not only that, but he was also incredibly disorganized, managed to somehow 'not see' most of his emails, and I was constantly cleaning up after him. In short, I didn't care to leave things on the best of terms with this person. So when I received my written offer from my next job, I decided to have a little fun with giving this manager my two weeks notice. I emailed him my notice with a purposefully vague subject line — of course, he didn't open it. I told others I was leaving, but he remained completely oblivious. It wasn't until a week later, when a coworker asked me about my going away party in front of him, that he FINALLY caught on — 'going away party for what??' His face was priceless, and he wound up looking totally clueless. What's YOUR best quit-my-job story, FGB'ers??

Anonymous · Answer

I left a position a few years ago that had an extremely toxic culture. One of the things that bothered me was that any employee that left, either through termination or resignation was blamed for all of the problems in their respective departments. When I decided to leave, I created vouchers that said, 'Wendy was supposed to do this, Wendy did it, and Wendy made me do it'. I made enough copies for every person in the company, puy them in interoffice mail with a note that said:' this is my going away gift and your get out of jail free card. Use this judiciously, as you only get 3 bites of the apple . Good luck and have a good life.'

april versace · Answer

I left a valued employer for a higher salary. The grass was not greener. The CFO was a tyrant, by all definitions of the word. He would beckon to me, from his office, when it was directly across from mine.  He gaslighted me in an executive meeting, with the owner. Cursed, belittled and called me a LIAR for an issue that pre-dated me (and why that person was terminated). I stood up, apologized to the room and advised him I was neither his wife, nor his daughter and if he wanted to speak to them that way, he could, but he would not speak to me that way. I looked at my watch, excused myself, and left for the day. He immediately posted my job on Indeed. The next day, I was called into his office, where he kicked a chair towards me and asked me to sit. I declined. He asked if I knew why I was there. I said to hear your apology? No. I was being terminated, but since I was the only person who knew how to run a specific report the owner, he wanted me to be on call, 24/7 for two weeks for 1/3rd of my salary. I laughed. He said I won't approve your unemployment. I said I didn't care. I grabbed my purse and SKIPPED out of the office, glad to be away from his lunacy. I lasted 79 days.

Anonymous · Answer

I have worked in a lot of places with toxic cultures and have always tried to leave on a fairly good note when possible. However I’m human and there was one time I decided to quit flamboyantly. I was working at a ‘research company’ and was essentially left alone to do whatever for my first few weeks. No training, just left alone at my desk. I created jobs for myself as soon as I was let into the animal facility and soon became the project manager / lead for everything in the vivarium as well as all the projects for the department, bred all the animals, did all the experiments. This was not in my job title and I was a contract employee. Instead of celebrating this, they added more work every week. This culminated in my boss trying to micromanage my time even though he didn’t know how to manage animals or the projects. He tried every manipulation in the book including gaslighting, bribery (you want overtime right?), and guilt to try to get me to undermine another coworker who wasn’t doing their job. He wanted me to be in charge of moving all the animals for our department (after we got kicked out of the facility we were in because of violations to humane standards), all of our equipment, and managing all our projects. When I said no that’s xx’s job he kept up with the guilt and said I wasn’t a team player. I put in my 2 weeks that day. 2 days later when word go out the researchers decided to micromanage my schedule completely and pack it with ‘emergency’ experiments. I walked into HR and said ‘I think I’m just going to be done today’. She looked up and said wait what? Like going home for the day? Nope just leaving. Not worth my time for a company that treats me like garbage, didn’t bother to try to train me, and doesn’t recognize my contributions.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not one of my finer life moments, but it had to be done!  I worked off and on (but mostly on) with my employer for 28 years.  It was a small CPA firm - small meaning the CPA, her drug addict/alcoholic daughter, my brother and me.  My boss kept accepting more work, but would not hire additional staff.  Instead, she paid us a ridiculously high hourly rate to keep us.  I was working overtime 8 months out of the year and could rarely take vacation time.  I worked when I was sick.  Working while I was sick was even more difficult as my boss was a chain-smoker and would smoke in our office.  We became severely burned out.  She was always trying to (unsuccessfully) pit my brother and me against each other.  Her daughter would get drunk while at the office and was more of a disturbance than of assistance.  She expected her staff of two (her daughter didn't count!) to work more time than she was willing to work.  On April 14th a couple of years ago, I arrived at work to find an email my boss had sent to my brother and to me instructing us both on some extra curricular projects that she needed to have done ASAP.  We had so much work to do for the upcoming tax deadline, and it was overwhelming.  I knew we were going to work ourselves into delirium, which isn't helpful to anyone.  I replied all to her email and wrote that we really need to evaluate the workload because it's more than we can handle.   When she finally arrived at the office, she walked by my office and stopped to chat.  I told her we've got too much on us.  She went to her office and saw my email.  She snarkily responded all and wrote that if we can come up with a plan to get rid of the heavy workload clients and keep the staff salaries where they are that she is all ears.  That flew all over us.  We didn't ask for the  money - we asked for help.  We quietly gathered our personal belongings and took them to our cars.  Then, we went into her office and I calmly told her we were leaving.  I told her that we have more work than we can possibly do and that we have consistently asked for help, not higher salaries.  If she had nicely asked us to reconsider and that we would re-evaluate the workload after the tax deadline we may have been inclined to stay.  She was a jerk about it, so we left.  I am so glad to be out of that toxic environment.  I miss the nice paycheck, but money isn't everything.

Anonymous · Answer

I see a lot of this going on in property management. I worked in a fear based work place for 18 yrs.  It was absolutely horrible the theft, the bullying.   Most people left via workers comp for psych. It was bad. I turned the VP receipts in for purchases not used on my property and was told they get far more value out of him & her than what they stole and to shut up and make the purchase orders. I did not, i could not. It took a lot of moxy for me to move on as i watched them destroy careers and good names  of decent people on the way out the door. There wasnt a day that we werent  belittled, devalued, berated- (Meanwhile im #1 manager in Ca and the nation for 15+ yrs-) I had kids to raise so i quietly got acronyms behind my name- when i gave notice the vp busted out the windows to my car and trashed my apt and would follow up call me for months after i left, saying she'll come for me. Thank goodness i had the foresight to have my apt turned professionally on my dime by the vendors we had used for 20 yrs. It was like the 'the firm'  you dont leave them unless you are dead. I gave them three weeks notice and thanked them for the immersive experience.  I never did anything when i left. When you get the chance to treat someone the way they treated you, dont take it. Move on, be happy. that's the best revenge.

Anonymous · Answer

Being a problem-solver who enjoys challenges, I sometimes  take on too much, but my last job got a little out of control. For starters, I had 5 bosses in 3 years and none of them were in my field. They didn't understand it well enough to offer effective advice and had their own issues. Most just left me to my own survival.

Although one liked to take my ideas, share them as his own, and tell me I should thank him, because otherwise they would never have been considered. He also threatened to take away my vacation time, because as a department of 1, there wasn't anyone to cover for me.

It was really the job itself that was the issue... Okay, well maybe also the lack of resources, support, and the perception that even though I was working 70 hours a week and on call 24/7 (even during my vacations) for less than $50k annually, I was whining when I requested help.

You see, in other institutions like mine, what I was doing is usually 2 jobs, in two different departments, each with with a staff. But my staff was only one other person, until I helped her quit (honestly she was miserable and we're still friends). Then I did her job, too, with no additional compensation. So... 1 institution =3 jobs.

At this time, my marriage was suffering and I was missing every life event with my children. There were weeks when I might only see them for a matter of hours. My husband was basically functioning as a single working parent.  Not only was I sacrificing my family for a job that was treating me like a doormat, but I was missing my revenue goals.

You see, the job with the biggest time commitment wasn't the part making money, and yet my job's viability was based on making money. I explained this dichotomy to each of my bosses in turn and asked them for their priorities, but no one wanted to give anything up. In fact, could I possibly do more to ensure my revenue goals were met?

If not, the big boss told me, I would be a failure. No, he didn't want to hear any of 'my excuses' for not being able to deliver. Obviously, with all the resources at my disposal (um?), I should be able to figure out a way to succeed. Look at all the bosses he's given me to help achieve my goals! Maybe I'm not the right person for this job, and he would have to find another role for me in the institution, because they didn't want to lose good people. (Please understand that to him, this was a motivational conversation, not an actual threat. You know what? I agreed with him. I'm really NOT the right person for this job.)

It was my husband who found my new job and encouraged me to apply. My new job is highly-sought after, and has nothing to do with revenue, in an institution that values family. Now, I get evenings, weekends, and vacations to spend with family (during which, I'm not even communicating with work)! It took some adjusting for them to actually have me back home and in their lives. Sort of like a military spouse coming back from overseas.

Before I left my old job, I hired and trained my replacement, because the institution was terrified that no one else knew anything about my job, clients, and business process. I worked until the very last minute to complete all the preliminary details on the work scheduled for her first three months, created a manual with links to all the paperwork she would need, provided a timeline of things that needed to be done, plus gave her all the passwords, contacts, and past correspondence with clients. I'm classy like that.

She lasted one year doing my job, and her new staff person quit after a matter of months, leaving her with that 3rd job. They had brought in far less revenue than I did. And even though I'm no longer even in the same job role... sshh… some of my clients have followed me to my new location. I didn't ask, they just figured wherever I was had to be a nice place.

My old institution keeps telling me they miss me and would happily have me back, but I'm happy where I am, thanks. Sometimes, it's just fun to sit back and watch the karma.

Deborah Servetnick · Answer

I was in my 20s and was working a temp job for IBM. The job was boring and awful; the only respite was taking a smoking break. I was not prepared for the working world.  My liberal arts college experience was existential exploration.

I didn’t smoke, hated the smell of smoke, but I’d grab a cigarette and just pretend I smoked and join the other women outside. We were in a suburban office park, standing outside looking at the rolling green, breathing in air that wasn’t available in our modern office complex where windows didn’t open.  It was very relaxing and calming. I didn’t know any other way to sneak in a break; I was just learning office culture and learning mostly that it wasn’t for me.

All the smoking breaks in the world weren’t making that job any better.  And then my 23rd birthday came. It had only been a couple weeks when I took a birthday smoking break and never came back. Happy birthday to me. My wishes did come true.

My next job was at the Adolescent Unit at the Mental Health Center of the local hospital.  It was definitely as good for me as it was for the patients; I was only a few years older than they were, and I identified with their trauma and loss.  My dad had died suddenly and recently.

In more ways than I can count choosing to leave constriction for expansion has paved the way for my career in teaching and healing. I became a body and energy worker, studied multiple modalities, earned a M. Ed. and taught high school for two decades, and now I am a Psychedelic Integration Coach; offering support for those who choose anew.

Peg Bittner · Answer

Oh, I will take this one to my grave.   I  was working at a wig mail order company who had a controller who took that title literally for everyone in the building.  I was hired to be one of his 'assistants'.        He had me clock in and out for everything  including bathroom times. It took me longer to go to the time clock than to go to the bathroom.  I was not paid salary but hourly.  In my personal life  I was dating my dance partner and we were rehearsing for a show coming up in a few weeks.  Unknowing to me the owner of the company would not arrive in until 4pm which is an hour before I clocked out.  When he did show up, both the controller and the owner expected me to stay as long as the owner did because the controller did.   That went on for a very short time, then besides that the work load was so heavy that I knew from experience that it was a multi person job but the controller just said I must be slow and to speed it up.  The stress level was unreal. I tried to skip the Christmas party because I was so busy but he(the controller) embarrassed me again. So I told him, don't scream when something is late the next couple of weeks.     Well the one night the owner walked in and he along with the controller went into  the conference room on the other side of the building but right in front of the entrance.  Meanwhile sitting in the back,I had called the temp agency to see if they had anything and they said yes if I could start the next day.  I said yes, no problem. They were expecting my call,I was told that they had a number of people go over where I was and they all complained about the same thing and they knew it would be only a matter of time for me, I was just to professional and experienced to be treated that way.    So once I hung up, I pulled out a piece of stationary and just put 'as of immediately, I am no longer an active employee at this business.'   I put it in an envelope, set it on the controller's desk and walked out the back door.   It took the company liaison 3 days to call me to find out why.  I told her with out holding back.  She asked, I answered.   They left the plant Ieft at the back door  two days later.   I left 'thanks' and the working relationship     was over.  I was happy the day I put the envelope on the his desk.   I started working at a company immediately and have never looked back.

Anonymous · Answer

Years ago, I had a boss who had a tendency to get a obsessed with an idea or topic.  There were tons of red flags, but being new to the industry I thought I could stick it out for a 'great opportunity'. Not having the experience led me to stay there much longer than I should have.  The dress code was 'business casual' and I was called into the office for wearing an outfit that was nearly identical to one an employee was wearing the day before. He explained that he holds me to a higher standard and that I was required to dress better. Upon heading on a work trip, I was called into his office and advised that I should be wearing a 1 piece swimsuit. (This work trip no events that would include beach attire and any beaches I saw would be entirely on my own personal time).

The final straw was when an a junior employee was aggressively confronted about their sexual preferences by a religious employee (very tenured).  When I flagged this to HR and my boss,  he acknowledged how serious this issue was and agreed we needed to act quickly. I was shocked to discover the victim got in trouble for 'harassing' the bully and his contract was 'not renewed'.

When I gave my two weeks notice, he said he already knew because he was getting a daily report of my clock in and out times and knew I took a long lunch or phone call! From my conversation with HR, I was the only employee whose information had been requested.

That Friday, he hosted his weekly meeting where he talked about 2 employees leaving and their great service to the company (shorter tenure than me and exit dates after). He looked directly at me and then moved on.  I didn't need the recognition, but it was clear to me what the next two weeks would be like.

So I quietly went back to my office, put my personal items in a box under my desk and waiting for the boss to leave for lunch. I cut my company credit card in half, left my key card and a letter to HR outlining my harassment and never looked back.

Fast forward a few months later when the harassed employee was seeking legal council regarding the event, I agreed to testify if needed. My old boss sent me a cease and desist letter or be sued for defamation.

I learned a lot about not only being my own advocate, but also standing up for those who can't defend themselves.  If a job doesn't feel right, trust your gut and move on.

Anonymous · Answer

One day, a minion of my boss - yes, minion, decided to take out hers and 'the entire department's' frustration out on me.  She told me all about what was wrong with me, what I couldn't do, what made them ALL so mad, etc.  I was young at the time and could have used some coaching here and there, but overall did a very good job even if the style differed with some others.  I was well liked and did well in many areas.  These were early days and I still had a lot to learn and far to go.

I had to go home and regain my composure and when I did return all the boss could say to me was, 'Well we lost half a day's work because of you so...'  So I said, 'So why don't we go for all of them.'  I handed her my resignation letter.  She was absolutely shocked and totally affronted that I would quit.

The next day she absolutely begged me to say, would I please talk to HR, Miss Minion was having a bad day but we could go forward with some teaching and training tools to help you and blah.  'This is no longer the position for me,' I told her.  People found out I was leaving and they were really sad. 'You were really GOOD' they said. 'Tell Miss Minion that.'

Several months later a friend called me to say that my quitting was the catalyst they needed to fire my boss, who was very much disliked by higher ups, and had been begging them for another assistant and couldn't understand why she wasn't getting one.  Miss Minion soon became poison and earned a reputation of making the workplace toxic before we even called it that.  Same friend got hold of an email written to boss and minion that said, 'you cost us a good employee and we cannot risk that again.'

This kind of behavior is so unnecessary. Gads, all we are trying to do is our job.

My wildest quit-my-job story.

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