Confidence

Question

Thoughts on building confidence to get into a job search after being laid off after 20+ years due to job eliminations (company has had two more events since)?  I never had to prove myself or I simply had more in my familiar environment.  Looking back, I do think I did lack some confidence in certain situations but usually was able to 'fake it until I made it' or push myself through.  The idea of marketing myself is difficult because right now, I'm not clear or confident on 'my brand'.  I'm one of those who is nervous to go to the party but once I'm there, can't imagine why I ever was and have a great time.  Any ideas on how to deal with this for the job search?  How can you build this type of confidence?

Kate C · Answer

Practice! Maybe try applying for some jobs that you are not super interested in - this creates a low stakes environment for you to experiment with your brand and how you present yourself. And hey, if you get an interview, that's great practice too!

Jessica Schindewolf · Answer

Hi!
I really resonate with a lot of your thoughts and feelings. I recently attended a workshop on identifying your personal brand. The workshop leader had us spend time answering the following questions:
1. 'What is your goal?' 
2. 'What do you want to be known for?'
3. 'What is unique about you?'

I am in the middle of a career change, and I found myself wanting to jump into a job search without doing any real reflection on what I wanted and/or what I could offer. Being 'forced' to answer these questions really helped me to start to think about my personal 'brand.'

Other ways I found confidence during a job search...networking--I've gone to every local event I could. The more people I met, the more I realized I have a lot to offer--even when I'm unemployed. And my resistance to networking really changed. If you do it repeatedly, you get accustomed to it and your confidence really builds. And it helps if you change the goal of networking to making connections with people v. 'to get a job.' Meeting various people in different industries also made me think more clearly about the type of work I wanted to do. Volunteering also GREATLY boosted my confidence because I developed new skills and I was accomplishing tasks successfully. Taking an online/local course on a software you'd like to learn or a skill you'd like to develop can also be really helpful.

I wish you the best of luck!!

KristineR · Answer

I struggled with this when I left a job that I once loved. The last year of my time there, I reported to someone else and things turned sour. After leaving I realized I was dealing with symptoms of something comparable to an abusive relationship. I had little confidence, didn't know what I was good at anymore, and had no idea where to start with job searching. 
I made a list of skills and passions I have, and plugged them in on job search sites. Though the search was disheartening at times because it felt fruitless, I kept at it, looking every day for something that might pop up with the right combination of search words. 
I ended up in a place that appreciates the many skills I DO have. Like dating, I learned what I want and don't want, deserve and don't deserve!

Rebecca Jones · Answer

I have two suggestions.

1. Do something nice for yourself. Whenever I need a boost, I give myself a makeover. Get a new outfit, do my hair, and imagine myself in the role I want.

2. Volunteer with a charity. This will keep you around people who are grateful for your contributions and provides networking opportunities. The other volunteers probably have jobs and they will get to know your work ethic. It may also keep your skills fresh.

The more you are around others, the more quickly you will find something and stay in a good mental state.

Lynne Cogan · Answer

Is it your brand that you are unclear and lack confidence in?

We all have a brand. It is who we truly are; it is also how other people see us. Branding is what we do to make who we are and how others see us align.

Here are some random things to think about and maybe use to start creating a list of how you see yourself. What colors do you wear? Are they your favorites? Do you spend a lot of time talking on the phone or on Facebook? What kinds of things do you post on FB and what posts do you respond to? Do you like sports; and, if so, what is your favorite? What's your favorite food? Do you like to make it for yourself and others? Would you rather spend an evening sitting quietly with a hot chocolate and your favorite book or being out on the town dancing or something else? What is your favorite type of music?

I realize that most of those things do not have to do with work, but they have to do with who you are.

Next, what about work?

Do you like to work as part of/the head of a team or by yourself? Do you like to work in a room with a window? Do you like open offices, cubicles or your own office. Do you like working 8-5 or do you like offbeat hours? What is your favorite part of the office day?  Would you most like to work at an office, from home, a coffee shop or a co-working space? Do you prefer working with numbers or words? Do you want a short commute or enjoy a longer one so you can play Audible for an hour during your commute? Do you prefer a micromanager, micromanager or someone in between and why? How do you like to dress at work? Do you enjoy participating in meetings? What are your favorite and least favorite tasks at work? Is there any industry that you prefer over any other and why? Do you have a favorite cause? Why do you want to work? Doing what one thing at work would help you to wake up each morning glad and grateful to have the job you do?

These questions are mostly random. And they can start to give you a better idea of who you are professionally and personally.

Additionally, you can ask others you know, like, and trust how they see you.

This could take some time. The next step is: What would you like to add to who you are? Would you like to be a better writer? Would you like to have a bigger network? Would you like to do more volunteering? Then, find a way to incorporate these things into who you are (your brand) and your branding so others recognize these new parts of you.

Does that give you an idea?

Confidence

You're invited.

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