Friends with coworkers?

Question

Are you friends with your coworkers? What boundaries do you set at work to ensure that your work relationships don’t interfere with your personal life?

Katelyn Kuehl · Answer

I feel like in this new world of social media it is a fun balance. I am an introvert by heart so I can connect with people just for networking without feeling pressured to be more. Healthy boundaries for myself include they can add me on social media but I do not really share my own personal stuff until I know them well or if it is an instant common interest. It takes a lot for me to call someone a friend.

Anonymous · Answer

I feel so lucky to genuinely consider my coworkers friends! We're a VERY small team so the group dynamic is important. While I don't think it's necessary to be friends with coworkers, I can't imagine not at least being on friendly terms with the people I spend most of my time with.

That said, we don't spend much time together outside of work beyond the occasional work happy hour, so I think for us the boundaries established themselves naturally and work well for our team.

Cassy Lombardi · Answer

At my last job, my coworkers became some of my absolute best friends! I loved it, and it was nice to have that contribute to the dynamic of our team. But I definitely know that this was a unique situation. Nowadays, we all work separately, but we still keep in touch and hang out regularly. However, I do feel like there has to be a balance (you do see them 5 days a week, so it's good to have some time away!).

Sue DeRosier · Answer

It seems that with most of my positions, there are 1 or 2 people who come with me into my future life. The rest remain co-worker acquaintances. One area that is tricky is when you become friends with your boss, doing things outside of work. That happened to me a few years back and when it became clear that she was happy to be my friend but not my true leader who will stand up for her people, it destroyed the friendship. I now have a manager who could easily be a friend, but she keeps a respectful distance from her employees. Nice, friendly, lunches with the team at work...but doesn't cross that line so that if she has to deliver bad news the roles are very clear.

Dawn A · Answer

I have a group of 3 other women at my work who I consider some of my best friends.  We work in an office of about 160 people so it is pretty easy to remain somewhat inconspicuous.  We go to lunch together about 1x per week and occasionally enjoy a happy hour or dinner together after work.  We do set boundaries, however.  While at work, we always remain professional about our relationships.  Some people may think that having friends in the workplace would cause your work to suffer.  Luckily for my group, we call each other out when we are slacking, and continuously push each other to progress with our careers.  I cannot stress enough how important it is to have other women empower you in the workplace.

Kim Beasley · Answer

I had to think about this and I have to put my friends into 2 categories:  co-worker friends and personal friends! I set and maintain boundaries with co-worker friends; not so much with my personal friends.

Current co-workers--not friends on social media (except LinkedIn); I ignore any friend requests. I don't gossip with co-workers and limit 'talk' time with them. This is reflective of my personal beliefs and work ethic, I think. I don't gossip and I don't want to know but so much about anybody else's personal life---no details please!

I feel a special camaraderie with some past co-workers--a very few of them I am connected with on social media like FB; others, no. I sincerely care about these types of friends and would jump into action to do all I could if they called on me for anything. However, I don't SEE them in person very often, if at all, so the 'friendship' is limited.

My personal friends know me inside and out and I know them, too! I can let down my guard, be who and what I feel at any given moment. There is a trust and love and loyalty there that stands strong forever. I have very few personal (real) friends, but I cherish and love them no matter what.

Anonymous · Answer

I made such amazing friends at my last job whom I still keep in contact with daily, while at my current job, which I've been at for about 10 months, I don't consider anyone a personal friend. If the friendship is naturally there, I say why not? They make for forever-great referrals, too! But if it's not, I hate when people try to force it. I always deny if someone I don't want to know personally asks me to do something outside of work and make sure never to message them first unless it's for something work-related.

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