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Anonymous

05/14/19 at 12:10PM UTC

Parenting

How old were you when you had your first child?

My high school friends all now have 3-8 year old. My college friends all have a child or are pregnant. My out of college friends generally don’t have kids yet. I’m so curious... FGB moms, at what age did you have your first child and was that a timeframe you planned? I’m 32. My husband and I are starting to talk about it more and more. We realize not everyone can even have children and even so, miscarriages, aging and time complications can arise but I’d love to hear your timing, story and advice.

Join the conversation...

User deleted comment on 03/26/22 at 3:27AM UTC

Ella Molnar

147

Wife, Mother of 3, Nerd

05/18/19 at 3:25AM UTC

I was 19 when I had my first. Yeah.... abstinence only education is not effective birth control, and you really can get pregnant on your first try. I had my second when I was 23. I had miscarried twice by then, and my doctor said all the other health issues I had and the damage from the second miscarriage meant that I would never conceive again. So I became just a little bit lax with my pill. I went to the doctor when I was 5 weeks along, and he got a false negative, told me I was having a hysterical pregnancy, and I believed him, and tried to ignore all the other symptoms. I was 23 weeks pregnant when I passed out at work, and my boss (male, of course) announced to the entire staff that I was pregnant, which was news to me... I woke up and thought, "how long HAS it been???" Bought an EPT on my way home, the twin pack. I know you're supposed to take them in the morning, but I took one in the CVS bathroom... I'd take the other in the morning to be sure. I swear, that thing was two pink lines practically before I started peeing. It was positive on FUMES. lol I got pregnant with my third when I was 34. My husband-to-be (at the time) and I talked about it, and my doctor took my Mirena out four days before our wedding. We went on our honeymoon, and 9 months later we have a new kid. (My new husband likes to tease me about his super sperm...) I was just a little peeved, actually, because I STILL don't know how long my cycle is, or when I ovulate, or what my basal body temperature should be, or anything. It's inconvenient to get pregnant just by not preventing pregnancy. I had TRIED so hard for my second, and I wanted to do math and stuff for my third. lol

IshaMudgil

421

I am a full time mom, writer and a food lover.

05/16/19 at 11:36PM UTC

I had my first at 29 and now we are planning for another, so I guess it would be 33 for me. There is no right age for having babies, but medically and physically clock is ticking. You don't want to be reaching your old age and worry about your kids schooling and growing up . It's best to have kids at the right age, so that you are equally energetic with them and once you reach your 50s, they are on their own and you can chill and relax with your partner. After a certain age, a woman's body is no longer the same, so its wise to have babies at the right age. Rest, its all God's will, when this blessing is destined in your life. We just pull it off :)

ReneeCasteelCook

131

Author. Eater. Mother. Reader.

05/16/19 at 2:02PM UTC

We were married for 8 years before we even thought about it (well, seriously, we'd been talking about it for 12 when we met, in college). But it allowed us to really enjoy our marriage and careers early on, without the (happy) stress a family adds. I was 32 when my daughter was born and I'll be 36 when we welcome twin girls to our family this summer. I have friends in all camps from barely had to try to IVF and it really is amazing how we spend so much of our lives trying not to get pregnant, then when we do want to it often isn't as straightforward as it seems, and even once pregnant or a child is born, so many scary things can happen. I definitely agree with the above that it seems for me when I've stopped obsessing over things in life they happen, that's not to say you shouldn't plan and try in all aspects of pursuing your dreams, just that it's all part of a sometimes unseeable journey. I'm so Type A that can be really hard for me but if there's one thing kids teach you, it's to loosen up :)

Anonymous

05/15/19 at 4:32PM UTC

I had my first at 43 through IVF and thought I was one and done. Then, I had another one without even trying at 45! I do wish I had them in my mid to late 30's though. I think that is the perfect age. But I didn't meet my husband until I was 40. I live in a major city, and a lot of my friends had their first babies at around 40, so I don't feel so old. That is until I see my high school friends with grandkids older than my children.

Jess Stetson

122

Builder. Collaborator. Postpartum advocate.

05/15/19 at 3:18PM UTC

As much as I feel like it’s a cop out, you’re never really ready. We had ours when I was 33. I am not sure we will have another, but I would be at least 36. The best thing I learned from all my fertility stuff was take it and feel it out day by day.

Dawn A

Boss, mother, outdoor enthusiast

05/15/19 at 3:17PM UTC

I just had my first baby at 32 years old, and planning on having another one which will likely be when I'm 34 for the second child, if everything goes according to plan. To be honest we have kind of been on the fence about having kids and were having too much fun just with just the two of us. We finally had that official conversation that we needed to decide. Having kids is not for the faint of heart, it really throws your marriage/life onto another path. If you are worried about your age, talk to your doctor. There is amazing doctors and advances in medicine that make it possible to have babies when you are older. If you are worried about miscarriages, that can happen even when you are younger too... there are always risks no matter how young or old you are. Let us know how it goes and what you end up deciding!

Katie Malone

1.28k

Social Media Manager + Mother to two daughter

05/15/19 at 3PM UTC

I started trying a month from my 29th birthday and got pregnant right away. I got pregnant right away with baby #2 at 31. I am one of the lucky ones... But that's not to say that both pregnancies were a breeze (one was scary high risk). I'm glad I had my babies when I did, but now that I'm older (35) and geriatric pregnancy age (haha!) I want another. I feel like I would be soo much more chill about everything now.

Anonymous

05/15/19 at 10:34AM UTC

My sister swears by herbs. She started trying at age 30 and couldn't get pregnant for 3 years and tried a number of ways to get pregnant. Three years in she switched to trying herbs and was pregnant within months. It could've been a stress or placebo affect but whatever it was, worked!

Anonymous

05/14/19 at 4:44PM UTC

My husband and I started trying when I turned 30. I had difficulties, and ended up having treatments for infertility, IUIs, IVFs, etc. I first got pregnant at 32, as a result of a IUI, but miscarried at about 10 weeks. I continued with IVF treatments, and got pregnant at 33, and had my son when I was 34. I didn't think more babies were possible without the help of infertility meds. I was thrilled with my son and had been blessed. I gave up the notion of more babies, wanting to just focus on the little miracle I was sent. We went on vacation to celebrate his first birthday, and I came home pregnant. I had my daughter at 36. Life is funny! My advice, don't start trying to get pregnant, but rather, stop trying to not get pregnant. If that makes sense - once I was focused on it, it was so stressful and I truly believe that made the difference with my daughter, I wasn't thinking about babies, I wasn't stressing about getting pregnant, like I was with my son. Once there was no pressure, it happened naturally... I also think once my body knew what to do, it was better suited to do it. Good luck with your journey!

Anonymous

05/15/19 at 10:30AM UTC

Aw, thank you for sharing your story. I have a few family members who tried a number of infertility treatments. For one, it took 3-4 years later than expected and a miscarriage in between before having her first but she's now so happy. For the other, it took a few years.