What if I don't want to 'Lean In?'

Question

Remember the book 'Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead' written by Sheryl Sandberg? We're all supposed to be ambitious and get ahead, right? Frankly, I'm pretty good at what I do. I'm intelligent, well-educated, and have leadership abilities. But what if I just want to do a good job, meet my obligations, and save some energy and enthusiasm back for my personal life? Will people and organizations then think I'm not 'living up to my potential' because I could do more, but choose not to? How do you deal with this situation?

Sandra Diaz · Answer

Check out the book 'Radical Candor' by Kim Scott. In it she describes a type of worker called 'Rock Star' which thrives in being an expert at their current role and improving in it. This type of role is in contrast to 'Super Star' which are people who are want to pursue that next step or role. Both are equally valuable to a team. If you understand this distinction, you could speak to your manager about it so s/he can provide the right type of motivation for you while ensuring you contribute as much as you can to the company's success.

Lisa Leslie Hefter · Answer

As a manager, I love it when people are really happy contributing at their current level!  If you are engaged doing what you’re doing, be open about that.  Many times I’ve seen people pressed to higher roles that lose their engagement because the role is not a good fit.  That is not good for anyone!

rdschmust · Answer

In my opinion, the book is more about understanding how we think (as women); how to Lean In IF YOU CHOOSE TO, and to also support each other as women.   We learn about statistics and facts so we can combat unconscious bias amongst ourselves and each other.    I don't feel the intent was for all of us to move to the highest level possible within a company and forego our other needs.

I commend you for being self aware with your life, your personal situation and what you want.   You deserve support for your decision and should be confident in it.  If your situation changes and you determine you want to advance your career further, that is up to you.

BansheeBailey · Answer

Omg, you’re so sane! In retrospect I wish I hadn’t spent so much time at work. I calculated too much of my value by my work performance. When I was disabled and could no longer do the job I went into a tailspin.
I had a friend, now passed away,  who could always be found standing by the elevator at 4:45 pm on Fridays. He had a weekend house at the Jersey Shore and he loved it there. He saw work as a way to finance the stuff he really wanted to do. 
Smart man.

KATRINE CHOW · Answer

I'd like to start by saying that I have big career ambitions (sometimes scared that they are too big) and I am doing everything I can right now to push my career forward.

That said, I could not get past even one third of Sandberg's book.

I believe success and happiness are however you define them to be. It is absolutely crucial to have folks who excel and enjoy what they do, who'd continue to excel for the long term. There is always a lot of starry-eyed talk about moving up the career ladder or becoming a leader. Not everyone has the skill set to lead and not everyone is happy to do so. I've seen so many burn outs or projects in disarray because people were 'voluntold' into managerial roles.

It is difficult to find the right place to be but it sounds like you've achieved this. Congratulations! How is your relationship with your boss? Have they ever brought up your career goals in formal discussions? Perhaps emphasize that you are really enjoying what you do and would like to specialize in your role. If you receive push back, consider negotiating a middle ground (ex: offer to cross-train with other colleagues or help mentor another high-potential who is interested in moving upwards).

Thank you for sharing your perspective! Everyone is (rather ironically) working so hard to achieve work-life balance. It's awesome that you're already there.

sabiharani · Answer

You do you! Each of us should define success for ourselves not based on some public expectation or book.

Sue DeRosier · Answer

I think ambition is also generational. When I was in my 20's and 30's I definitely wanted to get to the next level. I got married at 40 and had my son just shy of 42, so I stayed home for 6 years to see him through his formative years. When I returned to my career I was 49 and really only looking for a solid job, good pay, good benefits, and stable company environment. I was fortunate enough to find that for the last 11 years. I wouldn't mind being recognized for a inline promotion to the next level, but I would also be fine with being right here until I retire.

phxtransplant1 · Answer

I've been a follower of FGB for a while now, and find that 'hidden preconceptions about life' are  opportunities for failure. The workplace is becomming more reflective of how we view ife, period.

I find it reasuring, and educational, to intract with empowered women in the workplace, and this query providess, yet another opportunity to hit that learning curve more informed than ever in my professional lifetime.

If proactive honesty about your specific goals and professional desires are too 'out of line' with what the  HR Rep is trained to react to, the company environment is, perhaps, not a good fit for you.

If you are truly interested in working for the company, do some research and find out who are the people who direct from a policy standpoint, and figure out how to 'accidentally' engage them to see if they are actually aware that the company is actually hiring 'bots' as opposed to people who really care about showing up on time, every time, and doing a great job.

Calvonia · Answer

No one can determine your sweet spot but you. I maintained the same position, not applying for advancements because the opportunities didn't lend themselves to my bent. Eventually, that job which was within my passion, experience and education came open and I am serving in that role today. It's the best job fit for me. I'm thriving in my position because it's where I'm supposed to be.

Anonymous · Answer

I am in the exact same situation!

What if I don't want to "Lean In?"

You're invited.

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