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Fractured Fairytale

06/05/19 at 4:16PM UTC

Career

Feeling hopeless at 33.

Good Morning Everyone, Disclaimer: This is ALL over the place and will be lengthy. I dont' even know where to start with this post, but feel so very lost. I went to school for Hospitality Administration and received my bachelor's degree in it. This past March would have been 4 years as an engineering administrative assistant at a hotel. A job I KNEW I was good at and that I enjoyed but had no advancement opportunities, so to say I was getting restless would be accurate. Then THIS happened: I ended up having to leave the department because my boyfriend wouldn't have been considered for a management position if I was still in it. It was a situation I TRIED to put a positive spin on many, many times. "This will help both of us" or "I'll still be in the same hotel, just in a different department." I ended up taking a job in Catering with high hopes. Guess what?! I crashed and burned. The staff I worked with was amazing, but the job itself wasn't. It ALWAYS felt like there was a stigma that "she's here b/c of her boyfriend" attached too, which I wasn't a fan of. The hours, dealing with brides and MOB demands, detailing events, it is just NOT what I enjoy doing. I lasted about a month and they were not happy. I commend anyone in the sales and catering departments, they are intense. I ended up taking an office admin job closer to home in March. It is not working out and I fear they may dissolve this position any day. I literally get everything they ask for done within the first hour of being here. There is no training and HR has already made a comment about "we don't want to bump you down to part time" so I can't even talk about it. I have student loans and doctor bills to pay so why would I jeopardize that? This has created a lot of animosity in my relationship. I'm miserable, my boyfriend doesn't understand and I don't want to keep blaming him in roundabout ways for my current situation. He's doing great in his new position and I'm so proud of him. It's just really hard for me to hear about the department I miss. I guess I just wanted to leave on my own terms, not in the manner that it happened. I have a degree and I just feel like I wish I would have gone to school for something more meaningful. Something more "in demand." I don't even know what I like other than health and wellness (which has an incredibly saturated market right now) and animals (devastating job options in this field). I thought about getting NASM certified and specializing in functional aging, but the response I get is less than stellar from family and friends. "How are going to save up for a wedding/baby with that job?" Every other thing in my life is going alright - family is okay, my boyfriend wants to get engaged/married/start a family as soon as possible (scary, but sweet) but I am tired of feeling less than and like a failure career-wise. Any suggestions?

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Fractured Fairytale

06/17/19 at 4:26PM UTC

Thank you for all of your insight and advice! I am continuing the search for a career/position that will help me find happiness in the workplace again. To say this situation hasn't been easy is an understatement, but I am SO grateful for this website and all of the women on it. You all have literally given me the "oomph" to continue on and stop wallowing in self doubt.

Anonymous

06/20/19 at 4:05PM UTC

You've got this!

Carrie Topolski

2.34k

Empowering women and beyond!

06/18/19 at 11:33AM UTC

You go girl! <3

Maggie B

983

Business and Data Analysis Consultant

06/14/19 at 7:49PM UTC

What city are you in? My brother is an Assistant GM at a hotel in downtown Minneapolis who could use someone with your experience. Move on, move ahead. See if your partner can take on a bigger part of the bills while you take some time off and focus full-time on finding the right role for you. The right partner will be more than willing to help you out after all you've done for him.

Fractured Fairytale

06/17/19 at 4:27PM UTC

You're so sweet, Maggie! I am in Chicago.

Reema Mahmood

06/09/19 at 3:22PM UTC

You left your position and company for your partner to advance to be supportive of his career development- with that in mind you should be just as supported by him as you took a huge step to the side so he could move forward. Financially, the strain of loans etc, he should be absorbing that because it sounds like you sacrificed your career opportunities for his benefit- which works when it's a mutual gain. Hospitality is tricky- I am also a hospitality major and have had many challenges finding schedules work and balance between home and office (hard as it is for any working parent, even harder with unconventional hours). Pursue your passion, even if it means you must start over again to some degree, and you will quickly rise back up! Good luck!

BeaBoss922730

06/08/19 at 10:02PM UTC

If you want to make a switch why don’t you consider something like a startup. Boutique hotels, travel platform, etc. they could use your knowledge. Also things didn’t work out at one hotel try another. Don’t give up because you had one bad experience.

Anonymous

06/08/19 at 9:48PM UTC

I am sure to be “flamed” for this, but consider how lucky you are. Put family first if you truly want one. Jobs can be replaced. Love and family, if you are lucky, will fill your heart forever. And yes, I am a feminist. Just one who sees things, perhaps, a little differently. Consider what is truly fulfilling for you. Only you know that.

Balanced693265

06/09/19 at 12:26PM UTC

It’s true though. Not everyone wants kids, of course. And that’s ok. But if you do want kids, you won’t regret making that goal a priority.

MarissaThePetsitta

Professional Petcare Extraordinaire

06/08/19 at 3:50PM UTC

If your current degree and job field is no longer "in demand", many colleges have programs for "displaced workers" and they offer many benefits such as financial aid and paying for your program. I would explore your options in that arena.

Crystal Rhineberger

2.29k

professional rofl nevermind lets just wing it

06/08/19 at 2:45PM UTC

As I read this I’m hearing you have stifled yourself as many of us do and will continue to do. You did this w the best intentions but unfortunately are stalked by inner feelings of no fulfillment. Perhaps its time to reach out to a life coaching/therapist to help map goals? Anyone in your networking system who could help you get your foot in the door where you need to be?

Balanced693265

06/08/19 at 1:44PM UTC

Isaviel had some great advice! Also, as a FTM, I’d say wait until after you start a family to switch careers completely. You don’t want to take on a bunch of debt only to find out a career might not work with your family. If you can, pick up a side gig and focus on making your finances as strong as possible. Don’t let anyone scare you...kids are expensive but doable. Still, you want to go into motherhood in as strong of a financial position as possible. It makes it so much more fun and less stressful.

Carrie Topolski

2.34k

Empowering women and beyond!

06/05/19 at 6:46PM UTC

Have you thought about getting the job you enjoyed but in a different location or company? Perhaps you can insure that they offer opportunities to grow within the new company so you don't get stuck. It will take time but you may get that missing feeling you have with a new company/location. It sounds like your boyfriend really cares about you and you really care about him. You made the choice to give up that job so he could grow. Now it's time for you to grow. Did you like the job you were in because you were comfortable and confident in what you were doing? I think most people tend to like their job when they get to that point. Try stepping out of your comfort zone a little bit and go for that bigger job. You never know. All the experience that you have may lead you into a bigger and better opportunity. Don't be afraid to step up and take on a little more than you think you can.

Fractured Fairytale

06/17/19 at 4:34PM UTC

I definitely felt comfortable and knew exactly what was expected of me in the position of the hotel. I miss knowing what I was walking into each morning. Even on days where there were surprises, I handled them and felt good about my work and work ethic in general. I loved the people I worked with too! The group of engineers were top notch. I think it was a lot with how fast everything happened combined with the disaster I'm currently waking up in the morning to go to now. haha Thank you for pushing me to try harder and to try for something bigger, I am keeping an eye out in my job searches!