icon
Home icon

Home

Jobs icon

Jobs

Reviews icon

Reviews

Network icon

Network

Resources icon

Resources

|For Employers icon

For Employers

logo
about
careers
FAQs
privacy policyterms & conditionsfor employers
112k
20k
icon
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
My ProfileMy MessagesMy NetworkMy SettingsGroupsEventsMy PostsLog Out
Mystery Woman
Tell us more for better jobs, advice
and connections
YOUR GROUPS
Discover and join groups with like-minded women who share your interests, profession, and lifestyle.
COMPANIES YOU FOLLOW
Get alerted when there are new employee reviews.
YOUR JOB ALERTS
Get notified when new jobs are posted.
Your post is published!
Shewana McSwain
star-svg
51
The free-spirited, weekly podcast.
02/27/20 at 4:18PM UTC
in
Women In Tech

Overcoming The Negative

Hello, everyone. I’m about to do something with this article that I normally don’t do. I am going to be completely vulnerable! This is a big deal for me because I usually try to keep my emotions in check. Moreover, I hate to show any signs that may give the appearance of weakness; but today, I’m going to try something new. So here goes: I need your help. I have a problem; and truth be told, I should probably sit down with a therapist at some point, but I figured I would take it to my ultra-talented and super-knowledgeable LinkedIn family and friends first. I’m quite sure you all can help me. Plus, I know it will be much cheaper than going to see a therapist. Before getting into my problem, I need to give you guys a little background first. Three months ago, I launched a podcast along with my husband and my brother-in-law called The Mind Pop Zone. The podcast has been doing great. We’ve attracted listeners from all over the world. People have emailed us and told us how entertained they are with our podcast. We have heard nothing but positive comments. People seem to truly love the Mind Pop Zone Podcast. By all indications, the podcast has been a success thus far; yet, for some reason, I don’t feel that way. Therein lies my problem. Why is it that I always seem to focus on the negatives instead of reveling in my accomplishments? I hate to admit it, but the other two hosts of my podcast are just more positive than I am. They recognize the growth of our show. They take pride in the fact that we have attracted a nice sized audience of loyal listeners in a relatively small period of time. For them, the glass is definitely half-full. I, on the other hand, feel the exact opposite. For me, the podcast isn’t growing fast enough. The numbers aren’t where they need to be. We should’ve been number one yesterday. Now, when I sit down and truly examine my thoughts, I know this is an unhealthy way of thinking. Not to mention, I know it’s not even realistic to reach the level of success of podcast juggernauts like the Joe Rogan Podcast or My Favorite Murders Podcast in three short months. However, I still engage in this negative self-talk. And this isn’t just for my podcast. In my daily life, I could literally receive 10,000 positive comments and exactly one negative comment, and I will get caught up in that one negative comment and totally overlook the 10,000 positive. Even when there is nothing negative associated with what I’m doing, I sometimes create something artificially negative. Yes, I realize I sometimes do this for my own motivation, but is it truly healthy? FairyGodBoss family and friends, please tell me I’m not alone with my thought mechanisms. I am certain that there are others who deal with this same type of thing. My question to you all is: should I change my way of thought, or should I not be overly concerned with it since it has probably played a role in my past successes? If I’m being honest with myself, my glass half-empty mentality will probably help the Mind Pop Zone Podcast grow to the levels I want it to grow. But I’m also sure that it will probably create a lot of unwarranted stress and anxiety in my life. FairyGodBoss friends, help me out. What do you think?

Share

Join the conversation...
Judy Hutchinson
star-svg
140
International Education Specialist.
03/02/20 at 2:52PM UTC
I'm trying to determine if maybe it's a self image issue? You said something that struck me as very similar to the way I am--lots of positive comments, but the one negative one sits in your brain, and that's the one you fixate on. I am sometimes like that, and it hurts my productivity. When I was in charge of a university female residence hall, I stopped looking at the student evals of my performance and had my supervisor summarize them. They were almost all very positive, but there was always one or two negative ones written--just out of spite, and not out of an attempt to be helpful. Quite frankly, it hurt, and those comments stood out over and above the positive ones. And yet, they weren't anything that I could do anything about. All it did was make me question my abilities. I never did see a therapist, as you suggested, but I did work on things to help my self esteem--and have improved greatly in that area.
Sarah Burnside
star-svg
13
03/02/20 at 2:58AM UTC
Try The Power of Bad: how the negativity effect rules us and how we can rule it by John Tierney.
Su Green
star-svg
13
03/05/20 at 2:42PM UTC
Just reserved this at the library - thank you!
Robin Stone
star-svg
601
Work with executive leadership team
03/02/20 at 12:20AM UTC
Thought this was a great article and wanted to share. https://www.drweil.com/blog/health-tips/optimism-gratitude-the-power-of-positive-thinking/?utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Weekend%20Tip%202232020&utm_content=Weekend%20Tip%202232020%20CID_be4cdd524b815d2c0e5c1a4b68264e97&utm_source=Email&utm_term=The%20Power%20Of%20Positivity
Kim Borchers
star-svg
18
03/01/20 at 8:52PM UTC
A heart of gratitude always goes a long way for me when I’m feeling this way.
Salforth
star-svg
14
03/01/20 at 6:44PM UTC (Edited)
I've had the half empty glass view most of my life. Over the last few years, my approach has been balanced with a dose of cognitive behavior therapy. I examine negative thoughts to see if they have any basis in reality. Whether they do or don't, I take a more positive approach to dealing with the negativity. It's not magic, but it does feel better to know that while I may have a predisposition to a half empty perspective it doesn't have to keep bringing me down. I can try to turn things around with a little more healthy thought examination.
Courtney Stewart
star-svg
97
Clinical and Translational Sciences Institute
03/01/20 at 3:49PM UTC
Lots of good advice here already. Examine your thoughts a bit and dig into what is behind them-what serves you by having these thoughts? Are you reinforcing and then maybe creating a reality by comparison and a glass half empty take on things? Thought can create our reality. They are worth a good look.
Jillian Post
star-svg
1.3k
Building better communication strategies
03/01/20 at 2:08PM UTC
Some would say this is a byproduct of late stage capitalism, U.S. style. The competitiveness in this country is sickening. Get some perspective. Find a movie or video of, or better yet vacation to, a far away, off the beaten path place where life is slow, steady, natural, and beautiful. It shouldn’t all be about who’s on top.
Jackie Ruka
star-svg
2.07k
ProfessionalHappyologist Thrive in your purpose.
03/01/20 at 1:31PM UTC
Congratulations on the podcast! Now fire the itty bitty shitty committee in your head and have some fun!! Your definition of success is overachiever. Try on personal freedom first and enjoy the process. We reach success on the journey not the destination. This is coming from a recovering overachiever who is a Therapist and Mindset coach for women to step into the growth mindset and embrace our inner joy. If you really need help, I am here to assist.
Francesca Vanderwall
star-svg
610
03/06/20 at 1:39PM UTC
You made my entire week with that phrase. I will never forget it!
Katie Henderson Ladyboss752675
star-svg
757
I am an expert in all things visual.
03/04/20 at 8:37PM UTC
haha-- the "ittybitty shitty committee"!
Crystal Rhineberger
star-svg
2.29k
professional rofl nevermind lets just wing it
02/29/20 at 5:42PM UTC
I think for most of us who are in a constant cycle of “we can do better” your outreach hits notes w a huge community. I am always striving for more... because I can “do better” I am able to commit better if I feel I have a goal. Mayb its not the negative for you its more of the “lets take it further”?
Marie Peter
star-svg
13
UX Designer with a journalistic background
02/28/20 at 2:38PM UTC
What you're writing echoes in me. If I may, I'd like to tell you that "you are not your thoughts!" Some part of your brain might engage in what you call your thought mechanisms because this is what brains do: produce thoughts (based in personal schemes). Of course, it did help you and your friends! But it also sounds clear that the you of today is not only those thoughts. Embrace your little demons, thank them for always being by your side and allow yourself to produce different thoughts as well. It's not contradictory :) Good luck with your different journeys!

You're invited.

See what women are sharing on Fairygodboss.
What's new today
wand-button
Personalize your jobs
Get recommendations for recent and relevant jobs.
Employer Reviews
Quest Diagnostics
3.5
Join the Quest Women's Leadership community so you can...
Marsh McLennan
4.6
When you are being interviewed by the hiring manager and...
Recent Content
The Dirty Dozen: The Worst Things You Can Put On a Resume In 2022
Don’t Be Afraid to Live, Dream and Pivot Your Career, According to a Senior People Business Partner
3 Reasons To Ask For a Promotion Prior to Labor Day — And How to Go About Doing So
icon
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
  • about
  • careers
  • FAQs
  • privacy policy
  • terms & conditions
112k
20k